To Join, or Not to Join?

High school is coming up soon (and I'm scared half to death @___@;;). My dad was talking to me about joining some kind of sports team. ....>______> yea... dunno about that. LOL He suggested track (I've mentioned this before). Running is a great activity. (tbh I prefer watching people run...because it's kinda entertaining XD lol). I have very low stamina though ;A;. I can run pretty fast, but only for like five seconds and then I just die. It's so terrible Dx. Since I've been playing more of volleyball during gym, my dad was like "You should join the volleyball team them." ...sigh ;____; I wish. Volleyball is fun ♥, and I ain't too shabby at it. However...(yesh, there's always a 'however' with me xP), I don't believe I'm good enough for an actual team >3<". It's not that I don't have confidence (maybe it is a lil'), but I mean...when you're in a team, you have people who are actually super committed...and then you have me who just does it for fun ^ ^;;. I don't want to join the team, totally suck, and piss off the people who are actually serious about the sport >____>. My dad tells me, "Volleyball is a team sport. Everyone is trying to play their best. If you happened to be the weakest player there, can they really be that mad at you?" ...uh, yes dad, yes. They can (and probably will) be mad at me ^ ^;;. If I suck than I cause them to lose. If we lose than people get mad. And when people are mad, they blame who ever they can. Team sport or not, the weakest gets picked on/lectured/insulted/bullied/terrorized/ignored/degraded/ ....and the stare O^O. Yesh, the "stare". You know that disappointed look that everyone naturally knows how to give? The one that just shouts "Ugh, it's all your fault." or "What's wrong with you? Why do you suck so badly?" You know that kind of stare. The stare that makes your gut twist and turn, and causes you to feel terribly guilty and upset about your lame-ness/bad skills. TT^TT it's such an evil stare that has the ability to make you want to crawl under a rock, and just die Dx.
I know about this stare. When I play volleyball during gym class, I get this stare sometimes. I'm pretty okay in volleyball (or at least I believe so); not the worst, but not the best. However, there are just times when I completely suck. No real reason why, it's just one of those bad days, you know? So during those days, I get the stare. and it's scary O^O. Even though it's just regular gym class volleyball, people can still be pretty serious about it. Whenever I miss the ball or don't serve correctly, I get the stare, and I feel lame. I feel so lame that I just want to stop playing. I just want to go sit in a corner and sulk TT^TT. The stare is powerful, my dear reader. Well, maybe I'm just too self conscious or trying too hard to reach everyone's standards. I don't know what it is. But it makes me not want to join any kind of sports team whether I'm good at it or not. I don't like failing Dx. It's a terrible thing about me. I can handle failure, but that doesn't mean I like it. I don't like it one bit. Failure tastes like garbage, and makes you feel like shit. It just sucks, end of story.
My dad doesn't understand this though. He just kept going on and on about how good it would be to join a team. "How do you know you won't be any good? You gotta try. Don't just quite before you even start." and yadda yadda. Just broken record of tautology (yea, that's right, I know big words xD). Either way I'm losing though. I'll feel terrible if I join a team. And thanks to my dad, I'll feel terrible if I don't join a team.
I don't want to join a team just because my dad told me to though. It'll be unfair to the other players. You know what I mean? The other people join because they love the sport and their committed. If you got some half-assed player who doesn't care on the team, they're just going to be brought down by them. I don't want to bring anyone down.
Plus, I don't really feel up to committing to something either. It just means more expectations and more work. Those are two things I don't want more of. I don't see why I can't just go to regular gym, and just the regular warm ups, and be a regular student who doesn't do anything special. I mean don't get me wrong. I like being different, and trying everything....but I'm more of a solo person. If I stay solo then I don't have to worry about disappointing anybody. I can do whatever I want, and the consequences that come with those actions will only be brought onto me, nobody else. If I'm on a team, I can't fail. I might ruin things for them. I'll take everyone down with me, for whatever bad decisions I could possibly make.
Do you understand how I feel? If you do then great. I wish my dad did. I know he's only thinking of whats best. When he went to high school, he had a bunch of fun on his sport team thing (I don't remember which sport it was that he played o.O;;). I mean I know it's fun to do things in groups.  When with friends, things can be so colorful. It's like a chocolate sundae with extra sun!... if that makes any sense ^ ^;;. (as you can see, I'm not the best at coming up with metaphors/similes XD).

sigh... so I dunno. Maybe I'll join a team, see what it's like.... I mean I should at least try, right? If my dad thinks it's a great idea, than how bad could it be? If I don't like it than I can just quite or not participate next year. should be simple enough. You only live once, right?... erg- but why do I not get the best feeling about it?

ps. uh... this is assuming that I actually make it into the team... xD;;