I Fear for My Childrens' Stuff Animals

LOL. So I think my thighs are getting to fat, or my jeans are too old beacuse I found a hole in it the other day! It was a tiny hole though, so I thought "Hey, I can fix this!" I gathered my needle and thread, and began my patch work. And I found out... sewing is A LOT harder than I thought ;A;.

I took me three times before I finally got in a good strong patch up. The first two times, I sewed it up, put it on, and the hole oppened up again T^T. But as the saying goes, third time's the charm :'D. It finally stayed closed. lol. but it looks awful xD. I mean it does the job, so it's okay. but still. I only fear for my children when their favorite stuff animal rips. LOL.

 

I took some pictures of it with my phone though. just to show for fun :'D. Like my creepy needle holder thing? >w<

 

 

So I've decided that when I turn 18, the first thing I'm going to do is....
buy something from an infomercial :3

People like to buy me lunch. I don't know why... O3O

The Reason Why

So a popular question for me these days is "Why do you like your boyfriend?"
(or more like "OMG. You have a boyfriend?! Didn't know that was possible"... XDD)
Being asked so frequently, I've come to do a lot of thinking. And as it has been learned, when I think a lot about something, I blog. LOL.

The reason why I like Nairb really boils down to a simple sentence:
He's a really nice guy who makes me happy.
What's the full meaning behind that? Well, that involves a not-so-simple paragraph.

It's hard to describe why you like someone in general. For me, it was like a feeling that strated small and grew into something bigger; rather than just a WA-BAM-I-like-you kind of thing.

I think the moment my feelings started would be the first day I met him. Now, I don't mean it was "love at first sight". To be honest, I was really mean to him when we first met. Non-stop insulting him (because like... I didn't know he would be my boyfriend after a few months LOL). Usually, after being a bitch, a person would totally dislike you. At some point, the topic of my favorite candy came up (sour gummy worms Cx), and Nairb was like "I shall buy you some, if you'd like." Of course, I was just like "What? Something wrong with you? You're not supposed to give a bully candy." Then, unexpectedly, Nairb looked at me and said, "You see, because you're mean to me, I have to be twice as nice to you." I don't know about you, but that was a total turn on for me. LOL. I mean, all my life, I've always faced annoying people who are always like "If someone's mean to you, punch them in the face. and destroy all their pride. take revenge at all costs." I believe that if someone is being a bitch, you can't be a bitch back. Fighting fire with fire is only going to bring more fire! And so, hearing Nairb say that to me was just... it was like I found someone of my own kind o-o. I don't know. A set of emotions gets triggered when you've found that one person that is (or could be) what you've always wanted (or close to it). That was the beginning at least.

As time went on, I got to know him more and more. I love talking with him. I enjoy the stupid things he says. And he enjoys the stupid things I say. LOL. I feel a connection, a feeling that I don't feel with anyone else. At some point, I couldn't stand being just friends. Now, in my head, that's like a big sign for "THIS IS THE GUY". lol. Thus, it's all in the feels (of a personal connection and hormonal stuff).

But when a person asks "Why do you like him?" They're probably asking for an actual trait or characteristic. It's hard to say this without a love-sick, dasiy smile, but here goes:
A trait I like is his personality. his the glass-is-more-than-half-full personality. I love that he tries hard, tries his best at everything. I love even more how his persistence and stubborness challenges mine. His magical ability to make me laugh no matter what mood I'm in.

There's so much to love about him that it's hard to believe not everyone can see it.

The Little Idiosyncrasies

So I decided to fuck memoirs and trying to find my "niche" for now. LOL.
I'll get around to it...eventually.

I haven't posted in a while (mostly too busy playing League of Legends and doing homework :P)

I'm currently slightly sick right now, feeling better though, and need to finish geometry homework (graphing on line paper ftw! :'D). So for now, I'll share a little piece to catch you up.

Life with mah boyfriend is going wonderfully~. ^o^. I can't wait to see him everday, and I try to see him as much as possible (since we don't have any classes together :c ). I feel like I'm growing slightly clingy, but like.... I can't help it? >__<.
And no, we haven't kissed yet~ :P (everybody always asks us this .___. ). Hopefully, this will change soon >D. LOL. But it's okay too~. I know this one couple who has been dating for like a yearr~, and hasn't kissed yet Cx. It's kinda sweet, but crazy at the same time o3o.
Nairb is really amazing though. He wants to see and accept both the good and bad parts about me. And everyday his actions show me that he'll really love me through thick and thin. But even though I know this, I'm having trouble with showing him the little idiosyncrasies of myself. It's like, with a friend, I can be retarded as hell. It's because I don't give a damn about what they think of me. For Nairb though, I want him to always think I'm..in a sense... perfect, or as close as I can be to perfect.

I'm a very confident person... but only because I know all my good qualities, and I know how to show them off. With being able to always appear as this great person, you get kind of confident. But, that means I hide all my imperfections, the things I'm self conscious of.
Like, I don't wear pony tails in public... because it shows off my face, and makes it look chubby :c. Plus, the back of my neck is very red and stupid looking. Aint nobody wants to see that :P. I think my ears look weird too :T
I never show my feet to the public~ (wearing socks to a friend's house) because I think my feet look weird. My toes are oddly long and thin o3o.
I don't let people look at my hands up close either. I have a lot of imperfections to hide :c

I don't just show you my imperfections just because you tell me you won't judge me. It's like, I know you'll secretly judge me anyway o-o. A few close friends like Luka, Rin, and Choco have been able to see some of my imperfectionss. There comes a point when I can trust a person not to judge, but that comes with a lot of trust.

I don't know when it'll come to the point where I'll trust Nairb enough to show him the bad of me.

OH! By the way, I think I'm growing a cheek fetish xD;. I just can't help, but pinch, rub, carress people's cheeks~. I know how all my friend's cheeks feel. My favorite though is, of course, Nairb's cheeks >w<. Like omgs~. They're just like... idk. they feel magical :O.

A Thought In Progress

So my dad wants me to focus on coming up with an actual "niche" for this blog of mine. He suggested writing stories~. I don't really know what I want my niche to be. I kinda like just wondering in my thoughts~ as I do now.

I can't be that blog talks about book reviews because I don't read.
I can't be a cooking receipe blog because I don't cook... often. LOL. I'm in cooking club, but I've gotten bored of that lately :P.
I can't be that technology and gadgets blog because I don't tinker around very much.
And I don't want to be giving love advice or gossip stories because those usually end badly, or my advice skills suck D;

I don't know what to do.

I could try to write stories, most likely fictional stories. Those are fun. Creative writing is one of my favorites. ...but I can never seem to finish the stories. I'm not one to make promises when I know I may not be able to keep them, so all I can say for now, is that I shall try. I'ma try to write a story (: next time I am to blog.

I don't know if I want to jump into fictional writing yet though. I might ease into such kind of writing. Maybe I'll start out with memoirs. memoirs with exaggerations. memoirs straying from reality. I mean, that's what fiction is, right? Starting with a simple story. The truth with a whole lot of pa-zazz added.

It's a thought in progress, but we'll see. Dad just says to find a specific niche. I'm on the hunt for one now :)

Was sitting on my bathroom sink counter, crying... because I was sad.
Note to self: Get some more fucking confidence~.