Bad Girlfriend

I feel like I'm a really bad girlfriend. LOL.

I mean I can be a good one at times, but most of the time, I think I'm pretty bad. Haha. Why does my boyfriend stay with mehh? I don't know. If girls can learn to date douches, then guys can too! XD.

Haha. It's like...he can never win a debate. He's always insulted. I refuse to share him. He's not allowed to insult me. I don't believe in his compliments. LOL. I make him hold onto my stuff. I quite often twist his words. I slap him. I dont allow retaliation. I get jealous easily. I "borrow" his stuff. I complain ...a lot. I pinch his cheeks... a lot. I sometimes expect him to solve my problems. LOL. This is just going downhill so fast XD;;. I practically abuse the poor boy.

Most of the time I'm just joking or teasing, but it must really suck for Nairb... like I was thinking about it today, and I just realized, I'm like really terrible ;A;.

Like the worst thing I've done so far happened today. I was on the subway going home today, and going home with Nairb is like the only time I ever really get to be with him since we don't have classes together, and that's still only 30-40 minutes. Anyways, my other friends was on the subway with us as well. Now here's the "pun". Instead of sitting next to my boyfriend and spending that little half hour with him, I gave him my book bag and went to talk with my friends on the other side of the subway cart. TT________TT. OH MY GOSH. THAT SOUNDS SO BAD. I was like doing homework, about to fall asleep, and this thought suddenly came to me.

I would love to explain myself with many excuses, (as in the process of trying to make myself feel better, I've came up with many) but if I say anything, it will just sound like excuses. OTL.

One of my excuses though is that I'm uncomfortable with verbal affection for guys. OMG. IDKY but I can totally tell a girl that's she's sexy and has a nice ass without any trouble at all. BUT. when it comes to telling my boyfriend the  phrase, "I like you," I can't say it without it sounding weird or something. OTL. Verbal affection to my boyfriend makes me feel so awkward >3<;;.

So in conclusion, I'm terrible. LOL. I'd like to hope I'm not completely bad though. xD;.

I mean, I'm the kind of nice girlfriend who puts cute notes in his locker and whatnot ^_____^.... but that's all I do. That's all I can do. OTL. because it's hard to say things face to face ;A;.

So I'm like sad.... xD;; because.... I suck D;