I'm Just Your Ordinary Fickle Woman Here, Okay?

Okay! So I have something to set straight here. I wasn't able to do it sooner because of all the stupid homework I have, but I shall talk about it now. As you should know, I have a very complicated plan for my career in the future. And I fear some of you have not fully understood what I was explaining. Therefore, I shall explain it further in a way that makes more sense. What I have written before might have been misleading or hard to understand since when I try to blog on weekdays, I usually do it half-assed and rushed, so please forgive me for the crappy quality of weekday blog entries!

Anyways, moving on!

A few days ago (like last week or so), I decided I wanted to start being a writer. However, from watching many movies (all my knowledge comes from movies XD), I know how unstable the job of a writer is. It's possible that I can pour my heart and soul into a writing piece, and still not be successful with it. Therefore, I have decided that I shall be both, a writer and robotics engineer.

Becoming a robotics engineer (or engineer of some sort really) is mostly my dad's dream. But please, do not get the wrong idea of this statement. It may have been my dad's idea at first, but I have come to love this idea. In truth, I honestly love science (Earth's science is really hard and annoying though xP). It's my second favorite topic! (math is first because without math, we are cavemen). I also have the crazy dream of wanting to build a Gundam too. I mean that is probably every Gundam fan's life long dream XD. Thus, being a robotics engineer won't be something terrible for me. I will probably actually enjoy it!

The thing is though, I just feel that... writing is fun too XD.

LOL SO IN CONCLUSION, I AM JUST A FICKLE WOMAN <3.

Ah haa~ with this said, I plan to be a robotics engineer as my career, and a writer as a part-time and/or side-job-ish thing. If I become super successful than I shall invest into one of my ideas for inventions or businesses x3. I actually have quite a few of those! I just can't share them because I haven't copyrighted it yet ^ ^;; ...I mean I don't want anyone stealing my really cool ideas :3.

Yesh, I know this plan is kind of crazy! But still! Do you think I care? I'm the kind of person who does whatever the hell I want. The kind of gal' that wings it for everything she does. I act on whims, and I'm quite irrational. I do things without thinking practically all the time. A person with no plan to life, and no rules to follow. That is me. This is who I am, so you better accept it or pack your bags and leave because I ain't changing for you or anybody else. x3

Oh, and by the way, I do also realize that this means I'm going to have to be skilled in both science/math and writing. But you know what? I don't care ^3^. What's the point in being skilled in one thing, when there's just so much out there in this massively beautiful world? What's wrong with learning everything? It may be a bit out of reach, but it's still possible, right? With a little bit of hard work, I'll be able to do it. I have hope.
I have confidence in myself :)

I'm told I need to find a passion, something I love to do.
Well... I guess my passion is learning.

Please, Dad, Just Let Me Be!

LOL Before I start talking about my incredibly boring fun ^__^ day, I shall state something to you all. If you have a little brother (or perhaps a little sister, depending on what kind of girl she is), NEVER. EVER. buy them fake, plastic bugs that look realistic as hell !! Nothing good will come out of it! The only thing that'll happen, is that one day, you will get the crap scared out of you!
Now, I shall explain this for those of you who have not experienced how scary or surprising fake bugs can be. So this story starts in the bathroom. Yes, the bathroom, the sanctuary of my home, and only place of solitude here. I was doing the innocent (and must I say, very hygienic and recommended x3) act of washing my hands. It was terrible T^T. Washing your hands is supposed to be a very good, and enjoyable experience, but I was met with something horrifyingly ...scary xP.

I mean I was singing a happy tune, and being in a totally good mood. But then I saw this.... >____>

Why that thing was there in my sink in the first place, I have no clue. But yea, I totally freaked out when I saw this. I was just like "Eeeep~. It's a bug!! >______<. Dad! Make it go away." My dad came rushing in when he heard my screaming. But it was just a false alarm ^ ^;;. He was just like "Idiot. It's only one of your brother's fake bugs =_____=." All I could say was, "geez. I didn't know ;_____;." I'm not sure what kind of bug this toy is supposed to look like, but it's pretty creepy. I wouldn't say I'm the kind of girl who screams at the sight of a bug... >____> but when one penetrates the safety of my home, I have this "get the hell out, you creepy-crawly intruders" attitude towards them. I mean they're just so gross O^O. However, when I'm outside, I'm totally cool with it. I mean it's me who's the one in their territory when I'm outside, so it's not right if I squash them or something :3


Anyways, moving on! I'ma talk about tomorrow because...well I feel like it. I can't really describe how I felt about yesterday. It was of great annoyance, and yet fun at the same time. There's a bit of stress mixed into all this as well :P. Stuff happened. I don't know. Somehow, I was brought into a melancholy mood all of a sudden. LOL been having bit of moodswings lately ^ ^;;. So please, anyone I've snapped at yesterday (particularly my sister >__<), please don't take it personally. And no, these moodswings are not caused by PMSing... =3=.

The only nice thing that really happened yesterday, was that I learned how to semi-double-dutch 8D. I mean it's really hard to double dutch >____<;;. I kept jumping in between the ropes, but they kept getting entangled with my feet ;____;. LOL I practically made a fool of myself. I tried so many darn times, and kept failing. I bet a lot of people didn't believe I could actually double dutch D; people have low expectations of meh (yet some have too high of expectations as well <__<). However, towards the end of gym class, I eventually got it! :D LOL I jumped in, and I was able to make five jumps, according to Gleek-kun. Ah haa~ just a little more practice, and I can be better ^____^. Ever since I was little, I've always loved jump roping (not as much nowadays though :P). It was sort of my hobby when I was in elementary school. I can jump really well with solo-jump roping. I can do things like the crisscross jump roping. Or walk and jump rope kind of thing. LOL I can do both crisscross and walking while jump roping 8D.  When you jump rope with the two people holding the rope for you, I can last for awhile (but I'm kind of rusty ^ ^;;). But for some reason, I just wasn't able to get the whole double dutch for some darn reason >3<. But now I've learned :D. oh ho ho~. I love to hula hoop too 8D. I beat the best fifth grader hula hooper in the third grade (^___^)v. LOL but that's a story for another time. hm... sigh, good memories :')

Ah, for high school, my dad wants me to join some kind of sports team. I was just planning on doing sports just as a fun thing. I mean doing sporty-activities are healthy for you... but >____> I'm really lazy, and not that interested in sports. I like sitting her, at my desk, in my own, sweet little world ^_^. My dad was really trying to convince me into joining a sports team. He wanted me to join track. I was like "Noooo~." Not because I look down on track or something, though. It's just that... I really suck at running ;A;. I can't run an entire block without getting tired XD;;. I think it has to do with my breathing habits. I have very irregular breathing (because I used to have asthma). I forgot how to explain it, but bad breathing habits can cause you to do things incorrectly. When I try super, super hard to breathe correctly, I can run for much longer than usual ^___^.

Ah haa~ but joining a sports team wouldn't be that bad. I mean sporty guys are cute x3 LOL so I'd increase my chances of meeting some xDD (jkk~). I mean, they're cute because like, you know…they’re athletically fit and all XD. …but not those bulky jock guys ;A; with their scary-large muscles. I find body-builder types really gross D; ...no offense btw ^ ^;;. I don't think I have a chance of joining any kind of sport team though. I'm average at everything, so nobody would want me XD. I mean, I'm a real fast learner, and I can probably become a lil' better than average in a short period of time... but >____> to fit time for that and all would be so tiring Dx. LOL so I think I'ma just focus on studying (^__^)v. I wonder how I'm going to convince my dad out of forcing me to join a  sport team >____>. Maybe, I'll just screw up the tryouts for them or something, so he'd have no choice but to let me be lazy XD. jk~.

Oh! By the way, I have something sad to tell you people. I wasn't going to say until later... mostly because I was just too lazy busy,  but I'ma share it with chu now because Gleek-kun keeps bothering me about it =____=. YES! That's right, Gleek-kun. You've been bothering me with your nonesense. Anyways, explaining that will take too long, so I'ma just stick to the original topic. The sad thing I have to say is that, my dad totally rejects the idea of me being a writer ;_______; //sobsobcryyy. I told him awhile ago, earlier than I had wanted to. (And no, I did not tell him while I was doing laundry xP). He was surprised, but he tried not to show it. I could tell though because I am his daughter after all. He didn't tell me directly, but I know my dad pretty well, and I can get the hint whenever the subject comes up. Plus, he has said things bluntly like, "I can't believe you're giving up on science already," or "You say you want to become a writer, but you don't do __(insert random thing I have to learn here)___?" So yea =____= he pisses me off sometimes. Just to calm his stupid butt down, I was just like, "Stop with the complaining." And he started to whine, "I'm not complaining!" I just gave him a '=____=' face, and said "Writing is like a plan B option. You know, just in case. I want to keep my options open."

>_________> that was the only thing I could say to shut him up. My dad sometimes underestimates my ability to make my own decisions. I mean I truly do want to become a writer. So far, I've made good progress. But he was expecting some great engineer, scientist, or computer-type thing out of me. It's like I'm sorry, but... ;A;. Sigh. I dunno! I like the idea of becoming a scientist, and I like being the idea of a writer. GAH! I can't pick >_____<. I'll just do both. Yup =3=b that'll be my plan. I'll work hard to do both. It can't be too much work. Can it xP?

me, a writer?

So today my dad had said something rather interesting to me.
Has to do with life, and what I plan on doing with it.

Of course, I told him what I tell everybody. "I want to be a robotics engineer."
It's just easy to say. Sounds cool enough. Makes ya sound smart too. Like you got big goals in life.
Eventually, I believed that I really wanted to become one.

But I really don't know if I want to or not for sure. I mean.. I'm not doing anything special to reach that goal.

Dad laughed at me when I said that.
"Do you really want to be that?" He chuckled.

"Yea, why not?"

"I don't know. Really sounds like you're just saying that."

damn. caught me red handed. leave up to dad to see right through me like that.

"What do you mean?" I asked, playing dumb. I'm quite good at that; playing dumb.

"You aren't doing anything. You're not passionate enough to really mean that." and after that he left to go work on something. I was doing the dishes at the time, so I couldn't really go follow him.
I felt the need to defend myself. To say I really do plan on becoming an engineer. But I didn't see the point.

I started thinking to myself. "I want to become a robotics engineer to build a gundam, right?"
Ha of course I'm only joking about that. It'd be so cool if I built one though >w< !! LOL But I'm too stupid to build something so cool XD.

"If not a robotics engineer... than what?" I started thinking about all sorts of jobs that exist in the world.
Everything seems so hard though =___=;;.

Not gonna be a doctor. I'm not very good at remembering medical terms/symptoms or just things in general. I think I'll end up killing someone instead of curing them ^ ^;;. Can't be a lawyer... too much reading >___> and again, I probably can't memorize all the laws and stuff. Can barely remember the ten amendments xP. Can't be a circus clown or something foolish like that either because that's just uh.. not my thing XD.

I want to do something that's fun!
And doesn't take me eight or eleven years of college to do.
That pays well.
Don't want it to bore me after awhile either.
I want something that I can actually be good at too.

That's when I thought about it. Writing.
It sounded a bit silly at first.
I mean me being a writer? Sounds so odd when you think about it. (or maybe that's just me xD)
Doesn't sound as cool as a robotics engineer xD but it's still something pretty cool!

Don't need to go to any fancy college to learn to write well.
I can make millions if I write something good.
It's fun, and it never seems like a chore to do.
And I'm not too shabby at it either x3

So I guess I wanna be a writer! LOL xD I feel like a child. always changing what I want to be in life.
Haven't told dad about this yet ^ ^;.
Not sure what he's gonna say. A writer isn't exactly what he's been expecting from me.. >__>. Some bad ass graphics designer or something is what he wants. But ^ ^; lets face it, I'm too impatient to learn any of that stuff. To make him happy, I'ma learn how to do those kinds of things sometime or another though... I just don't feel it being something I wanna do for a living.

LOL But I'ma need a plan B because being writer is like being an artist. If no one likes your art than you're so screwed~ XD. You'll make no money. Haha so I guess being a robotics engineer shall be my plan B ^___^.

Anyways, to fix the whole haven't-told-dad-yet issue, I'ma try writing a book. If it's any good, I'll show him, and tell him my career change. That way, he'll see I'm not just kidding about this like I semi-was for the robotics engineer thing :3

I plan on finishing my book before summer ends. I wonder how successful things'll be ^^.

Oh ho ho~ I'm quite excited about this :D !!

Now, all my blog viewers must promise to buy my book once I'm done with it, okay? ^^

LOLOL Just kidding~ <3. You don't have to buy if you don't want to.
But seriously, if my book turns out to be any good, you people should buy it XD.

Umm...but I must warn you. I have a tendency of giving up half way or missing the deadline, so if I end up not finishing by the end of summer vacation than I am terribly sorry in advance ^ ^;.

Lets hope I write this book though, ne? :D