SaD aNd HaPpYy ~ //moodswingsss ?

Sigh. Don't you just hate it when you're faced with obstacles? Obstacles that you just don't know how to get around? It's also a pain in the butt to face these kinds of obstacles if you have a big imagination or read too many books/watched too many movies. You start to think up of all sorts of crazy reasons for why these obstacles exists. These ideas start out normal, quite cliche. Then after a while they get more and more outrageous. I like to stop at the point of ultimate confusion XD. Today that happened to me. I have this problem. Can't really say because it's so unique the person(s) will know what it is I'm talking about. So you people are just going to have to deal with the limited knowledge of knowing, I have a problem, and that's it :3. LOL so anyways~, this problem is starting to be a pain in the ass. I've never really experienced such a thing, so I have no clue what to do. It's quite funny actually. I've come up with all the possible reasons for why such a problem has occurred, but there's no telling what is the answer; which idea is right. I find it amusing that with this imaginative mind I have, I cannot come up with any way to solve it. I tried asking Luka-chan for help. But she doesn't really seem to know what she's doing either XD. So I've reached a dead end~. I hate dead ends
(lol doesn't everybody?).

Today really sucks though. Not only because I'm facing a difficult obstacle in life, but also for other things~. For instance, Gleek-kun keeps insisting that I hate him. that we're not friends anymore. Sigh. It's so annoying when people do that. They're all like "Do you hate me? Are we not friends anymore? You seem mad." I keep telling him, "No I'm not angry. I don't hate you. We're still friends." But every day he keeps bringing that up. I HONESTLY DONT HATE YOU GLEEK-KUN. Please believe that. Right now, I'm just not feeling too well. My patience level and tolerance for people is rather low at the moment. I'm sorry that I might have been snapping at you a bit too much, Gleek-kun. It's just I need some space right now I guess. Yea, I might sling my arm around Nyu-san or link myself to Rin-chan, but that's because they let me be, and unburden me with all my worries. Sigh. I know it's unfair towards Gleek-kun, but I.. I really just don't know what to say right now. Gleek-kun if you're reading this (and I know you probably are), I don't hate you. Okay? I don't lie.

Today also sucks because I took a science test. And for once I actually studied. Shocking I know XD. I'm such a cocky bastard, so I don't study for tests. However, lately, I haven't been doing so well in science class. Today was a major major tests, so I actually bothered to study. I studied for an hour and half ! That's gotta be the longest time I've ever studied. And guess what? I FAILED OTL. It just sucks when that happens. LOL I tried to look real happy about it though. I got too much pride, despite what others may think ^ ^;. There was 38 questions in total on the test. My goal was to get no more than half wrong (meaning i must get 19+ questions correct). And guess what, I got 7 wrong OTL. damn, I fail. I know that means I passed my goal. And honestly, I really did expect to get at least half of the questions wrong. But 7 wrong is still like a 70~80 something (too lazy to calculate exact score). Luka-chan got a 95 !! TT^TT damn it I'm a failure. //competative xD

Sighhhh. so yea, today sucked. really really sucked. fo' real.
(LOL bed intruder song Reference XD).

On the bright side (cuz there always is one ///liess xD), I didn't have to go to work today :D. LOL I really don't know for sure why. But supposedly they're watching a movie, so I wasn't needed. I mean I can't really tutor kids if they're watching a movie XD. Oh ho ho~ But I'm happy because I didn't want to go to workk today. I feel too crappy to work. I mean those kids are so darn spoiled and complain all the time. It's just annoying to be around them sometimes. But I also love them too :) because they're so cute >w< and they give me such adorable lil' drawings :'D. They love me too ! <333. Because I'm nice ^___^ (they're lyingggg XD) ~
LOL Oh! Speaking of the kids loving me, one of them gave me a confession note! XD LOL IT WAS SO ADORABLE !! <3. Haha he's only in like ..uh.. first grade? XD I'm not sure. No wait I think he's a second grader or maybe 3rd.... >___> omg I dont remember. Well it doesn't matter, he's somewhere in elementary school. No wait I remember now xD ! He's in second grade. yup :3. Haha but I swear it was the cutest thing on earth! He took pink paper, and wrote "I like you." on it, and warpped it up in some origami type envelope. It was so sweet >w<. Luckily, since he's young~ he didn't feel to bad when I had to reject him.

I told him, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I really like you too... but I already have someone I like ^ ^;."
"You have a boyfriend?! :O " he seemed so shock, as if it wasn't possible. i know he's young, but i couldn't help but feel a bit offended XD.
"Uh..well I don't know if you can call him that..." I replied unsure of what to say ^ ^;;...
"Do you love him though?" now damn, when he asked this I was like "what kind of second grader asks this kind of stuff?" XD //was very surprised.
But of course I replied, "Mhm ^__^ I love him very much."
"Then he's lucky :) " and I suppose satisfied with this, the boy went back to doing his homework~.

I swear, that's gotta be the weirdest conversation I've had with someone who is of his age. He's so maturee that it's kinda scary xD. I mean not even my own brother says stuff like that. And he's a year older than this boy! Plus, I mean he's my brother. That makes him at least ten times smarter than all the other boys. LOL JK XD. But still. Kids these days continuously surprise me all the time. I mean they may be small and inexperienced, but don't underestimate them or else you're in for a surprise or two x3

ROFL SO NOW I JUST GOT SUPER OFF TOPIC~ XDD.

I'm very moody I guess. First moment, I'm all sad and gloom. Next moment, I share this cute story with you. My life is just colorful I guess XD.

well...other than that I really don't have anything else to say ^ ^;. 

so uh.. BYE BYES :D

ps. THIS WAS REALLY LONG. GOMEN >_____<"

NO TIME!

WTF I HAVE NO BLOG TIME IN MY SCHEDULE >________<
I MISS BLOG TIME!! D: I miss ranting on about things or sharing funny life moments. I miss thinking about what to blog next. I miss writing up about my general day. I ... I ...okay basically I miss writing about my random crap everyday xD.
LOL But, I just had to blog something today because I don't think I did yesterday (or did i? xD lol idr~). So I'ma just quickly jot stuff down on here xD, and maybe I'll go into detail about it later~.

I went on an ice skating field trip today :D
-it was fun
-i fell down three times xD
-i drank dr. pepper~ x3 which is my 2nd favorite soda drink xD

A boy confessed his feelings to me today :3
-i had told him no. (I don't like rejecting people D: no matter how you do it, you sound so mean.)
-he took it pretty well (or at least pretended that he did)
-i wonder if we can still be regular friends :\ (probably not)
-and no Gleek-kun, it's not who you're thinking about :O
-he sed he liked me bcuz i was nice and that he generally liked who I am. (lol sounds cheesy xD but cute~ ^ ^)

A friend of mine told me that a guy I know had liked me for the past three-ish years
-he's the best friend of the guy who confessed to me. awkward~ ^ ^;;
-it's odd that he likes me because i never talk to him :\
-there's a high possibility that she's lying xD or it's just some rumor~.
-i don't have any romantic feelings toward him :|
-and no Gleek-kun, I won't tell you who it is :P

side note: you'd think that boys liking me would make me happy, but it's kinda a pain D: it's no fun having to tell them no. No is a mean word, but there are times when you are forced to say it :\
No is especially a mean word when it's toward receiving gummy worms xD

Had an epic time with Choco-chan and X-chan ^ ^
-we talked about deeep stuff :3
-i enjoyed talking with them. it was like a fun group therapy thing xD
-lol it's nice to just rant with friends who understand you :)
-X-chan is a new bestie of mine <33

And basically I just had a crap load of fun today :D
It's midnight now, and I'm tired as hell xP
so I'ma end this here, and go to sleep~ xD

So good night~ ;)

I Can't Believe What Just Happened

I don't know if I just made the largest mistake of my life or the right one...

Earlier, I was chatting with K., and things were going really well (if you minus out the awkward nervousness I felt the entire time ^ ^;; when I'm talking with him, I always choke on my words.)

Well anyways..things got real awkward

and I think he actually confessed that he liked me.

But it was all too unreal for me to realize what was going on. I ended up saying stupid stuff, that probably hurt his feelings, and he left our chat.

A few minutes later, he sends me an email saying he would like to start over from the beginning.

...but I told him I couldn't just start over,

and I actually told him that I liked him as well.

except...I said nothing would happen between us romantically because I'm not allowed to date. :(

And in the email, I asked if we could just stay friends, but I don't think that's possible.

and ...I'm not sure if he'll ever be want to talk to me again.

He hasn't replied back yet (mostly because I just sent the email)

Our "love" story ended badly...

And...and...

TT^TT I'M SUCH AN IDIOT!!!

I NEVER THOUGHT THINGS WOULD TURN OUT THIS WAY!!! TT^TT

WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?!?!

I MESSED UP!!! TT~TT

I FEEL TERRIBLE!!!!! D':

>~< it seems almost impossible to fix things now.

and I wonder if he's reading this now ^ ^;;. He somehow found my blog, and started reading it >.> ... Which was a terrible turn of events >~<.

So back to what I said in the beginning. Do you think it was wrong and a big mistake to tell K. that I can't be more then friends with him, or do you think it was the right decision to not go behind my dad's back and start dating my crush?