so um, don't ditch me, okay? ^ ^;

Um... so I haven't posted since.. idk, Saturday?
And I'm only posting this to tell you that... I won't be posting again until..awhile >___>.
Like not until Saturday?

I'm not disappearing off the face of the earth for a few days or anything crazy like that. xD I'm not sick or injured. My arms hasn't been severely broken to the point where I can't type. I mean it's not like I'm now typing with my tongue or anything like that xD.

Haha, but I'm just really busy for some reason O_O;.
Like, I don't even know why I'm busy, but I can't seem to get shit done until like midnight...
And I need my sleep ;A; without sleep, I'll be tired. And when I'm tired, I usually get hungry for no darn reason. When my stomach is grumbling like a bitch and I'm sleep deprived, I get grumpy as hell. When I'm in a bad mood... well let's just say nothing good ever comes of that. very scary :P.

Now, the people who knows me, is probably thinking, "What? Emiko can be scary? No way~." But I tell you now. I'm like that creepy Asian girl from the Grudge, plus something from the movie Saw, with a pinch of Freddie Cruger, and maybe a bit of like a high and drunk miley cyrus coming from the movie Hangover1. So I'm just saying, it's not a pretty sight :T ....no joke. Ask my sister ^ ^;;. She never wants to wake me up in the morning because of this, and I have to rely on my own crappy cell phone alarm Dx.

So I'ma like...disappear for awhile to work on my studies and sleep...>___> now, it'll only be until Saturday, so I don't want any of you to ditch me from now 'till then. I'll be back. I promise ♥.
(haha, plus, knowing my weak willed personality, I'll probably be back around Wednesday or something xD).

ps. to those who replied on my "Everyone is Innocent Until Proven Guilty", so sorry that I haven't replied back to you yet D: it's just ...like I said, I'm busy. I will though..maybe...if it's that important to xD. LOL but just to say, I'm real glad that the post made you think back to good memories of your friends, or something of the sort. More posts with lessons are being thought of as I ..uh..sleep, I suppose xD.

but... to help entertain yourself while I'm gone...here's a *cough erm- lovely(?) picture that Luka-chan sent me ^3^. ..Yea, it's stupidly huge, and I am too darn lazy to fix that issue. So um, enjoy? ^ ^;

Everyone is Innocent Until Proven Guilty

I'm very sensitive when it comes to friends. I don't know if you've noticed, but friends are quite important to me xD. I mean I'm very defensive and protective when it comes to my friends. They are all important in my bigass heart (yes, that's right! my heart has a big butt. flip up side down, foo' (yea, I'm disturbing >__> shut up.) It's not that I got scarred because I didn't have friends as a kid.... well maybe that is the case... LOL no jkk. I had a lot of friends when I was a kid (and I still do x3 (yeaa, I'm showing off. be jealous XD jkkk). *cough, I'm in a weird mood today, excuse me xD;;. But when I say "when I was a kid", I'm talking about meh life in Las Vegas. Yea, meh childhood happened in Las Vegas, Nevada~. That's right NEVADA. Not California, you poor geographically illiterate people out there (a lot of people on the east-coast of the US, don't know their west-coast states at all. I swear, what do you they teach these ppl? I had to learn all fifty states in third grade! mind you, I still don't remember them all exactly, but that's not the point! xD). I had a ton of friends... but they were crappy as hell =___=. Not saying it's because they were from Las Vegas. Maybe, I just had shitty taste in friends back then? However, I did come across a few gems :) ...about four in my last year in Las Vegas xD;;. I happened to still be in contact with my favorite one >w
I'm going to call this Las Vegas bestie, Rose... because she's as beautiful ^ ^ (and deadly as hell with her "thorns") like a rose :>....plus, she smells nice (things just got creepy xD). LOL Anyways~, I'm still in contact with her. Kufu, we email each other x3. And I've gotten an email from here yesterday and today :D. She has like week intervals when emailing me, so I don't get emails from her often. She don't like me that much anymore TT^TT //sob. LOL jk. It's because like you know, she has a life and whatnot... I don't. xD. Yea, Rose, she's like a professional soccer player, and is superr pretty, and does well in school. And hey boys, out there, she's single ;D. LOL JK! She's mine, so back off! (jk.. ish xD). But Rose is really athletic, and super cool >w<.

...you know... I wonder why I surround myself with so many bad ass talented people all the time. It makes me feel so ashamed sometimes because I suck at like everything xD. But like seriously, where the hell do I find these people?
You got Choco-chan, with her brain and knowledge and all that stuff goin' on. X-chan with her singing, instrument skills, and athletic fitness-y stuff. Nyu-san knows four different chinese languages. Plus english, and fool, she's learning Spanish right nao too! Rin-chan with her literature (writing confusing stuff all the time. killin' my brain xD). Luka-chan gots her artsy thang goin' on. Katrina-chan and her amazing patience to deal with all us crazies. I swear, Katrina-chan should get a damn reward for being able to with stand all the nonsense we spout out sometimes. It's crazy xD.

It makes you wonder... what the fuck happened to me? XD

LOL But that's going off topic. I'm here to talk about my Rose today x3. Yea, gonna go all mushy with friendship, and whatnot x3

Anyways, I really do love Rose //no homo. I mean, I used to get picked on a lot as a kid ;A;. Yea, I wasn't such a tough cookie in elementary. Had a lot of health issues back then too. So stupid kiddies were mean to meh Dx. I mean can you imagine that? :O Not liking me. ME!? I'm Emiko Seiei, the most godly and awesome person you could ever meet! (LOL exaggerating a bit there XD... hmph, fine exaggerating a lot, but still that's not the point xD).
Haha, but Rose really stuck by me despite what all the meanie people said to me. stupid meanies >3<. I became self-confident and happy thanks to her ^ ^. So all you people who love who I am, get down on yo' knees, and thank Rose now~! Because shit got real when she came into my life. And then things just exploded into a double rainbow when Luka-chan came, but that's a whole other long ass story just waiting to be told XD. (it'd start with a lil' something about me selling key chains on the street. ha, got ya interest now, eh?). But thank Rose for being my friend when she did, or else I'd be a closed up, shy, and quiet lil' girl who wouldn't have started this blog. And we all know that'd ruin all you people's lives. (just agree with me, and make me happy XD).

Rose isn't exactly a crazy person like me. She's nice, and sweet, and cute, and cool, and ..yea, I could go on with a list of elementary-level adjectives XD. But I still love her :D. She's contributed to what I am today. And out of all those "friends" I thought I had in Las Vegas, she's the only one who actually emailed me. So I love her, and she loves me ^3^.

I love getting emails from her though :D. She has such an interesting life compared to mine >w<....well, a life more normal than mine at the very least. Normal people amaze me ...because I don't know how to do what they do xD. Rose doesn't know about my crazy side. But that's okay, it  gives me the chance to pretend I'm normal >w<. hee hee, which can be fun if you're not normal so often xD.

Anyways, I've learned a valuable lesson from Rose. No matter what others may think of a person, you should always give them a chance yourself first.

Everyone is innocent until proven guilty. <---one of my mottoes.


I never hate on another person, unless I actually have a reason to. You know how in classes, everyone can pick on this one kid? And sometimes, if you really think about it, there's no god damn reason why they should. I was new to a class one time, and out of all the people I picked to be friends with, I chose the one nobody liked. No, it wasn't a charity case. No, it's not because of the very fact that they didn't like them. It's because I got to know her first, before I placed judgement on her. And you know what? She was a better person than all those stupidly snobby kids that told me not to like her.

So my point here is, get to know a person before you judge them based on what others say. Now, I mean if someone tells you this guy has killed a person, boils cats, and is a human trafficker than STAY AWAY. I swear, I don't want you to go and befriend some psychopath, and be like "Oh, some nutty girl, named Emiko, told me too." No. I don't want my ass sued for that kind of stuff. Because I'm too poor for that crap xD. I'm just saying, in general cases, in like classroom scenarios, you shouldn't let rumors get the best of you.

Rose didn't. And look at me now x3.
Rose is a true friend, and I know she'll always be there for me. She's always complimenting me, and making me not feel like a complete dumbass xD. And if I were to need have some sudden strange as hell sickness that needed me to need a heart transplant, I'll bet she'll ...greatly consider giving me hers XD. LOL naw, I'm joking, but still. She's got my back, and I have hers. I know if I were in any trouble, she'd try her best to put me back straight.

...you know...this is like one of my very few posts that has an actual lesson in it xD. kinda amazing. I'm not the best motivational speaker though xD;;.
and sorry for the weird language. I've been watching too much DavidsoComedy on youtube, and I'm starting to talk like him xD. I can't curse here, so I had to cover it up with a bunch of awkwardly worded stuff ^ ^;;.

I'm it!

Haha, I'm it! since I was tagged by the lovely, Miki ♥. (get it? it's a pun from the game 'tag' x3).

A real sweet person. I demand all of you to go check out her blog ;D

I can't really post anything special due to all the craploads of work I have to do (gosh, being a nerd ain't too great sometimes ;P). This'll be my lil' quick post, so I don't feel bad for not posting anything for a long time later xD

~Rules~ 

(because there's always some kind of law anywhere you go. That's just life, folks ;D)

 1. Each person must post eleven things about themselves on their blog.

 2. Answer the questions the tagger has set for you plus create eleven questions for the people you tag to answer.

 3. Choose eleven people and link them in your post.

 4. Go to their page and tell them.

 5. No tag backs.

 6. You legitimately have to tag.

What is your favorite hobby?
Unless, watching dramas or blogging my life away counts, I don't really have one currently ;A;. //sobb. I am desperately trying to find one at the moment though. Dx


What did you wanna be when you were little?
Hmm..this is a hard one because I was the kind of lil' girl that wanted to do everything XD. But, I believe, I wanted to be a doctor when I was little because I like helping people :D. I changed it though because I thought doctors were scary, and if I became a doctor, I'd be scared of myself. And we all know, that wouldn't be just terrible because who could ever be afraid of lil' awesome ol' me ;D.


What is your favorite food?
Eggs ♥ ~. I'll any kind of eggs, anything with eggs in it, or eggs in general. I find them yummy no matter how they're cooked or prepared ^3^.
I also love beef very much as well. (this is something my sister finds scary because I was born the year of the ox in the Chinese zodiac. so in my sister's logic, I'm a cannibal because ox is a kind of beef.)


What are some childish things that you use to do and still do today?
Oooh~ I do many many things XD.
For instance, I still walk by skipping whenever I'm happy. On occasions, I'll also sing that little song, "Skip. Skip. Skip to my lu." or something like that?
I get excited whenever someone gives me a balloon, especially bright red ones (I don't know why..xD;;).
And I still try to balance on the edge of the sidewalk quite often :3


Funniest moment?
One too many to say.
But I think the funniest moment I've had so far was... o.o wow, it's really too hard to say.
Hmm.. I'd say every day I spend with my friends is the funniest moment of my life <3

What is your dream job?
To become a robotic engineer that one day builds a real life gundam \(^o^)/ !!


What traits do you see in a good friend?
Traits for a good friend is respect and understanding.
Without respect for your friend and their wants, a friend relationship will not last long. For instance, if a friend asks for the other friend to stop doing something that really bothers them, than a good friend will respectfully acknowledge their wish and stop.
Understanding between friends is needed because if there is always conflict and misunderstandings than too many fights will occur, and eventually tear them apart.

If you could get any animal as a pet, what would it be?
Kissing fish~. I think they're kinda funny how they always kiss each other xD. It's also quite cute. I saw them once in a restaurant, and they really quite intrigued me. ^3^.


and darn :T If you didn't specify it to be an animal, I'd totally wish for Sebastian from Black Butler to be my pet x3 ufufufun~.


Would you rather get eaten alive by a kitten, or walked on to death by a pig?
Hmm..well seeing such a cute thing such as a kitten to eat me alive would be...so scary O_O.
Then again, being walked on to death by a pig sounds incredibly painful...>___>.
I think.. I'd choose to be eaten alive by a kitten :D. I mean, at least, I get to look at something adorable before I die >w<.

What is your favorite thing about your family?
My favorite thing about my family would be how close we are with one another. There's never any major conflicts, and I can always talk to any of them if I ever need to. We also have things like fruit night or game night or anime night xD. I especially love movie night :D.
I also like how we all have similar oppinions :D. It helps us have less disagreements in the house xD; which is a good thing since we're all super competitive and stubborn. We'll try ever last possible option/debate/reason/w.e. before we ever bow down, and admit we're wrong XD. 


DO YOU LIKE FRUITS OR VEGETABLES BETTER?
FRUITS, duh~. I mean veggies are yummy..ish, but it'll never beat the tastiness of fruits ^__^.




Questions for the people I tag ^3^

1. What is one thing you don't ever want to lose?
2. Name something that you would feel uncomfortable buying alone in public?
3. Would you rather be stuck in a room watching non-stop Barney x Elmo yaoi forever or be stuck in a room with the person you hate most forever?
4. What's the craziest thing you've ever done?
5. You earliest memory from childhood?
6. Do believe in love at first sight or lust at first sight?
7. What are two things you must absolutely do before you die?
8. Who's your favorite person in the world? (can be someone you know or a celebrity or something)
9. Do you think aliens from other planets exist?
10. What traits a person can have do you find most annnoying?
11. Who are some people you would die for?

uh... I tag everyone who reads this post! //total cheater and lazy bum xD;;

You can either post your answers to the questions in the comments below or post it on your blog, and share the link to it in the comments :)

To Be a Better Person :D

Grr, so I've finally taken the initiative to become a better person xD.
LOL I've been complaining and been complained to about how I need to improve on certain things. However, I've never really done anything about it >___> since I'm lazy D; which isn't good. I'm trying to learn a thousand new vocabulary words before I go to high school xD. Which is pretty darn impossible since I can't remember crap for life :P. Haha that's why I'm going to take little steps :D. I'ma try and learn a hundred words by the end of May. Let's see how that goes xD;;. I'm also going to get into shape! Yea, needa exercise. xP. I'ma also learn photoshop and the piano.

Now why the sudden need to do all these things? Well, I'll be going to Bronx Science soon, and that place is probably full of smart-ass, talented kids. I don't wanna seem like a total fool in front of all these insanely smart people Dx. I mean I'm okay with acting like a fool in general, but I would like to be a smart fool xD if that makes sense to any of you.

Plus, I'm really starting to get annoyed whenever someone asks me what kind of talents I have. It really sucks when I have to say "none." I swear, I really don't know how to do anything TT^TT. I can't sing, play any kind of instrument (except the triangle xD), or any other kind of trick. It's also really annoying when I don't have any kind of hobbie :T. So I'm hoping by taking the initiative to learn and try new things, that I can find something I'm passionate about. Because I've been bored nowadays ;A;. Being bored sucks.

I've called my attempt to become a better person, Operation Badass. ^3^ you know how when you give names to things, it makes you more attached to them? Well, I've decided to give my attempt to improve a name, so that I will be more determined to complete it :D. And if it as a funny name than it'll make things more fun xD.

Anyways, here's the plan ;D

By the end of May, I'm hoping to learn a hundred new words :3, hopefully lose like I dunno two or three pounds? XD if that's possible, and learn a lil' bit of photoshop.
Not planning on learning piano yet. Not until the summer :T.

And I feel the need to blog about Operation Badass because it feels more official if I do :3

Learning new vocabulary and exercising more is something that you can probably guess how it will help me improve.
Learning photoshop and piano might be a bit harder for you to understand how it'll help me improve. By learning those two things, I will gain skills that will make me talented :D compared to the ordinary person.

har, well, I got to go now, so bye byes~ ;D

How to Make a Boy Fall for You

Um... so this was a request from a friend.
It'll be a little awkward for me to write this since I haven't really uh, put much thought into this, but I hear I'm er- pretty good at attracting boys >___>. . . or at least, my friends say I do.

*cough. OKAY! I'm just going to say this straight without beating around the bush because I hate being awkward. I wanted to write a "How To" on something, and my friend said I should make a "How to Attract Boys". Why? Because everyone thinks I know how to flirt, and always asks me how do I get so many boys to like me. This is going to be really awkward for me to talk to about, since I am NOT a flirt. Anyways, I got some credentials on writing in this topic, so don't think I don't know what I'm talking about (even though I kind of don't xD;;).

I don't know how to necessarily attract a boy, so I suppose I'm going to write about how to have a boy fall for you? LOL I don't know. Writing about romance freaks me out, honestly xD;;. I don't like thinking about it when it's personally involving me or my opinion. But I'm trying here, so don't judge me! ^ ^;;

How to Make a Boy Fall for You

Prologue (yes, there's a prologue xD)


I have this theory that I've found to be true. Males are quite similar to females. Now wait! Before you go, and argue or protest, listen to what I'm about to say. There are the obvious things that separate a boy from a girl; like our different general interests and ..what not xD;;. However, male or female, we're all humans alike. We have the same needs and wants. As humans, we want someone to talk to us, to listen to us, to be there for us. (..girls just tend to show this desire more xD).

And so, after saying this, I shall explain how to use this fact to your advantage on the male species. It is much easier than we, females, make it out to be :3.

Step One: stop talking, and listen, will ya?


Gosh, all you females out there talk way too much. Being a female myself, I know this all too well XD. I don't know why, but girls are always able to yap about something; whether it's about the latest gossip or some weird squirrel that bugged you on your way home. And if you're a girl reading this, you know it's true. Don't try to deny it.

Going back to the prologue, we're all human, so we all need to talk to someone every once in a while. Boys are totally the same way. Hey, don't stick to that stereotype of boys being brainless fools who don't have anything to say. It's not true~! If you were to stop talking about yourself for once, you'd see that the male species actually has a lot to say (a little too much if you ask me xD). Okay, so half the time they might be going on about the latest video game, but if you can just try to pay even a little bit of attention, it'll make you seem like a really cool gal'.

I swear you can even just nod your head and be like "yea, that's totally cool!" even if you don't know what he's saying. Guys do that to us all the time, so it's okay to do it back! x3. If he's talking about how he died during Left 4 Dead, and lost all his money to the zombies, it's still okay! He'll have fun trying to explain to you how not cool that is xD. As long as you try to show interest, than he'll love you ;). Just pay enough attention to ask an occasional question, and let him keep talking. You might not be that interested in what he's talking about, but it can be really cute sometimes to listen to him though. Seeing their eyes light up as they talk about their love for the game ^ ^.

LOL If you really like the guy, go on wikipedia or something, and do a tiny bit of research on the game. If you can be knowledgeable enough to have a slight conversation about it, you've just practically caught his heart xD.

This is specifically talking about video games of course, but it goes for everything in general. Just let the man talk every once in awhile, and try to pay attention to his interests too; not just your own.

Step Two: turn down the attitude, and be sweeter


I don't know why, but some females can be so mean to boys. Okay, so they're outsiders of sorts to the women race, but if you want to get a guy, you gotta let them inside. Keeping them at bay or scaring them away (heehee that rhymed :>), isn't going to get you anything :P.

You have to be nice to the boy. <-that's probably the most obvious thing anyone could tell you, but nobody ever seems to fully acknowledge it.

You don't have to treat the boy like they're the best person in the world (unless you think they are...), but you should not him as if he's gross either. Most boys like feisty girls who can be witty and playful. Mind you, being feisty and being rude are two different things. Sometimes

Don't treat him like he's an alien. Treat him like you would a friend. With a friend you'd care about their feelings, and how they're affected by what you say.

Step Three: try talking to them, eh? :3

LOL None of this will work if you don't gather up some courage, and talk to the boy!
I don't know why, but some girls can talk about a boy for hours. Yet, she can't talk to him for a measly two seconds. Boys aren't scary. I promise xD. Some might be... dangerous, but I'm leaving it up to you to decide about that :3

Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice saying, "you can do it!"


Anyways, this is the end of my three step "How to" on getting a boy to like you.
Pay attention. Be nice. Have confidence.

:3

disclaimer: if any of this happens to fail. it's either because it wasn't complete properly or the boy is unusual. LOL just kidding. if you happen to not like my three step how to, than don't be angry. this was just based on my experience, and may or may not work for your specific situation. so don't get angry at me if it doesn't work ^ ^;;...

I'm Too Empathetic

I was going to blog yesterday, since some...funny things happened xD. However, I ended up getting distracted by something, so I'm sorry ;A;.  Better late than never though, eh? ;D
Yesterday was a very..oddly emotional day for me ^ ^;;. I experienced the weirdest feeling I've ever felt before O^O. And it's made me realize that..>___> I'm too empathetic, even for a female. Which is incredible, since I rate like a 3 on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being the most) on all female traits, so to have too much of a female thing is amazing for me :P. By the way, I say empathy is a female thing because despite how many girls may protests, we're all a bunch of softies with too much emotion bouncing around inside of us xD.
Anyways, let's get to the story of my empathetic nature, shall we? :3
So I've mentioned to you people before that I've been getting into dramas pretty recently. Yea, I don't know why I didn't find dramas sooner >w<. Haha, so I recently started watching this one drama called Easy Fortune Happy Life.

I've only watched three episodes, so I can't say much of what the whole thing is about. However, I have read the summary of it, and shall put the story into my own general words :). Easy Fortune Happy Life is about an old man (whose name I don't remember) who is super rich, and he has terribly spoiled rotten children. His grandson just as spoiled. They are all cruel, selfish, and greedy. However, Xie Fu An (the main character), is a kind village girl, who happens to be the grand daughter of a woman the old man used to be affiliated with (i dunno if the grand daughter is his or not x___x). Okay, so the old man is dying soon, and wishes to make his family to be nice like Fu An. So yea, he comes up with this whole scheme thing, and so on.

Easy Fortune Happy Life is a Taiwanese drama, and I really like it >w<.

WARNING: Now, from here on out, I shall be talking about my feelings in watching this drama. That means I'll be mentioning specific details that may or may not ruin the drama for you (depends). If you don't like spoilers, than I'm afraid you should stop reading now ^ ^;;. Go watch the first three episodes, and come back xD.

...you've now been fairly warned, and notified.

Anyways, when I was watching the first episode I was like "What's going on? ;A;" LOL I always get confused in everything. I'm a ..slow person xD;;. I mean there was this Asian girl riding a bicycle, and following this ambulance. I thought she was worried because she knew the person in the ambulance, but then they showed she was smiling. I was just like "sadist >___>". But then it made sense when she was only following it to go to the hospital to meet her crazy friend, and for the person inside of it. So once I got settled into the story of this village girl, I was like "Oh this is interesting, and the main character, Fu An, is nice :D." 

It was all funny and happy in the beginning. But when the drama got to the part about their grandma..then ;A; it got all serious and sad. Fu An has her grandma and little brother. They're all poor, and live in this shack thing. While Fu An and her brother was cooking (which by the way was only sweet potato soup (or something with potatoes), and it was very little, and not filling, and just sad D:), the grandma showed her metal box thing. It had this watch, and she was having a flashback.
She was a young girl, who met a young man. He had got caught in an animal trap, and hurt himself. She had fallen in love with him, but he had to soon leave. However, before he left, he gave her a watch. The watch symbolized his promise to come back to her one day. He told her to wait for him. And this grandma lady waited for him for nearly 60 years, and he never came back ;___;.

And so at this part, I started bawling like a baby TT^TT. It was just so sad. I have this real bad habit of putting myself into the shoes of the character. Sometimes, like while watching this drama, I can really make myself feel how the character feels, and I get so emotional. That's called empathy. I have the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. At times, this can make me seem like a really cool person because people who come to me for advice feel really comfortable sharing with me since I don't make them feel alone. However, for times like this, it can be really bad because I can start crying instantly, and won't be able to stop.
I felt so sad when I thought about how terrible it must be to love someone so much as to wait for them for so long. And after waiting so long, you find that he might not be coming, is just heart breaking ;A;. I started crying, and it was so annoying since I can't read the subtitles when my eyes are all blurry TT___TT. But then it started talking about how the grandma is still happy since she has her grandchildren, so I started bawling even harder. Because anyone would feel bitter and upset, but this grandma stayed so hopeful and loving. It was so moving, that I started to cry harder. OTL I'm so weak and emotional.

Then my dad looked at me, and was like "Is that Emiko?! Oh my god, I didn't recognize you for a moment there. I was like 'what is that weird noise?' and saw you. Are you crying?! Oh my god!!" My dad started freaking out, and laughing. It was just embarrassing =____=". He sounded like a total girl with all those "oh my god~"'s >___>. My sister came over too, and then my whole family was staring at me. It wasn't pleasant TT_________TT //shamee.

Then I started watching the second episode of the drama the next week after XD. Yea, I love watching dramas, but there's never any time for it x____x. //that suckss~. In the second episode, I thought "Okay, so this one should be past the sad stuff, and back to the funny stuff :D." But the stupid episode ambushed me with another crying attack ;A;.

These two guys had to come into their house to steal this plant from them (a very expensive plant). While trying to get the thieves out, they had knocked over this fire thing, causing the house to catch on flames. Fu An wasn't at home at the time, so she couldn't help her brother or grandma. Fu An's brother was able to escape the fire. However, the grandma had foolishly went back into the fire blazing house to go retrieve the watch from her past, and she had gotten stuck there; inevitably dying. Then Fu An comes, and finds out from the doctor that her grandma had lung cancer, and didn't have much time left anyways. There was a letter that the grandma had left Fu An.

I started bawling at this ;A;. At this moment, I tried to do my weird "get into the character's feelings" thing again. Surprisingly, it was difficult to me :T. I've never had anyone die in my family as of yet (or not any family member that I personally know), so I don't know how it feels for someone to die. The next best thing I could do was picture someone who I really care about who is of equal value to Fu An's grandma; which in this case is my dad. I STARTED BAWLING WITH NO END! It was so terrible, and I'm never picture my dad in this situation ever again TT___TT. What made it especially worse was the lung cancer detail. My dad is a smoker, and everyone in my family all know it's bound to happen one day (but he can't quit because ..well it's hard ^ ^;;). And the detail about how the grandma didn't have much time to live because of the cancer. So I kept crying and crying, and sobbing. It wasn't pretty ;A;. Then the little brother was like "Big sis, please tell Grandma to wake up. I don't want her to be dead." It's the most used line everywhere. But yet, I couldn't stop the next wave of tears from coming. I pictured what I would do if one of my little siblings did that, and the whole scene just got a whole lot sadder. I had to stop the video here. It was getting too sad for me, and I found out that my dad was video taping my whole crying moment on camera =______________=".

Anyways, I won't get into how badly I tortured and killed my daddy ^__^ right now, I'ma focus on the main events :>. I'm going to focus more on the second episode right now.

Yea, I'm a total daddy's girl :P, so shut up~ with any of your "awww"s or whatever. I don't know though. At the time, I was crying so badly. After I saw my dad video tapping me, I tried to explain it to him. I was able to calm myself down to a slight sob; where my voice was just a bit croak-y. I was able to stay that way for the whole story, but once I got to the final part about how I started crying because I imagined him dead, I started to cry all over again. TT^TT and he started laughing at me, and was like "It's okay, Emiko. That won't happen." And then my dad had the audacity to go out and smoke!! Gosh, that guy can be really despicable sometimes xP. As I was talking to my sister, I couldn't stop crying. But the even weirder part was that I was crying and laughing at the same time! I was crying because of how sad I was, and I was laughing because of how much I was crying. It was so weird. My stomach was hurting, and my eyes were hurting at the same time. x___x not pleasant.
As you can see, I'm not used to crying.

I'm the oldest child in my family. And ever since I was little, I was not allowed to cry. Well my rule to myself was that I could not cry in front of others, especially my little siblings. I mean the responsibility of an older sibling is that you have to protect your little siblings. For instance, when mommy and daddy where having a "loud conversation" (aka an argument), I couldn't be the one who cried for them to stop. I had to be the one who was calm; the one who would console the little ones to stop crying. I mean, you can't really convince a little kid to believe everything is okay, if you are crying yourself :\. Dealing with that kind of responsibility has really taken its toll on me :T. Even though now, when the arguments have ended, I still haven't let myself cry for anything, or at least not in public. ...>___> there's this part of me that still wishes to show no weakness. Yea, I'm a tough cookie :3. Eventually, I've learned to laugh at everything, and keep my cool (but I still have a serious face!! so don't think I'm all fun and games :P). But after having everyone see me cry because of that drama is so embarrassing >____<. I've let my family see my tears! That's terri...actually, it wasn't that bad. . . they didn't make as big a deal as I thought they would. LOL They all laughed at me xD, but... for a strange reason, I feel that they were laughing with me, instead of at me. Dunno why I felt this way, but I did. I wonder..if I'll let myself show that kind of emotion more often :T... probably not XD. I can't cry in front of my friends, that's just stupid ^ ^;;. I'm a tough cookie outside, but at home, I'm all soft and chewy xDD (if that makes any sense).

The messed up part of this all is that my entire family said I look really cute when I cry. Haha, if this is true, than none of my friends will get to see that "cute" side of me XD. But that kind of confuses me. Ever since I was little, and up to this very moment, I always believed people like really ugly when they are upset. I LOVE it when people are happy and smile. Anyone, and everyone looks beautiful whenever they smile :). I believe that with all of my heart. So to say that I look cute when I cry just defies all logic of mine whatsoever :P. I think I look hideous when I cry, and I still do :T.

Another stupid thing my family told me was that "crying is a good thing because it helps clean your eyes out; which is healthy for your eyes."

=________________________= no. no, I refuse. Crying is never good D: because it always takes forever for someone to stop crying. And that is so much time not used on smiling. *shakes head in disapproval. crying is awful :V

I'm Truly Grateful :')

If you've been reading my blog for a while or so, you could tell that I'm - as one person has said - "boy crazy". LOL I mean, I really can't help that, ya know? I'm a growing teenage girl who's going through all those weird hormonal crap :P. so don't blame meh for liking to look at the pretty faces of certain males :>.

Har, so speaking of good looking guys, I had the strangest dream last night! For some reason, I was dressed super pretty. My hair all fancily curled. I was in a frilly dress, and so on. I believe my dress was dark pink, short, and ruffly/puffy at the bottom. I was walking towards this huge ass, fancy white building. It sorta looked like the Taj Mahal for some reason... o__O. I was about to walk in, when suddenly, this really handsome man popped up behind me, and linked his arm with mine. Now, in my dream, I seemed to have know this really cute guy, and totally didn't freak out when he surprised me like that. I smiled all sweet to him and what not. Anyways, I've never seen him before in my life O^O. It was like one of those weird things in your dream that your mind conjures up from who knows where.  If I didn't know the guy in my dream than I would've bitch slapped him, even if he was cute. I don't take well to surprises >___>. Like, I'm nice, and I don't like doing that. It's just reflexes, honestly. I unconsciously swing my arm, inevitably whacking the person. Anyways, it was weird. I don't remember what we were talking about, but I was laughing (in a cute "girly" manner xD). I seemed to be really happy for some reason. (this guy wasn't even that cute, but I was having a good time apparently :>). It was like all I wanted to do was be with that guy.

When we got into the building, we sat down in this really fancy room. There was like plush chairs, and Victorian styled, with fluffy, feathery pillows :D (i like fluffy pillows x3). There was an old couple sitting to the left side. They were mean though because they kept glaring at me and him ;A; it's creepy when the elderly stare at you. To the right was a really slutty girl that was totally making googly eyes at my er- boyfriend? LOL I dunno what he was to me in my dream xD just know that I was with him. Anyways, in front of us was a cozy -and I must say- HUGE fire place. It was like taller than me (and I'm 5'3") >___> one scary ass fire place. I did have the sudden urge to bake smores over it though :>. Anyways, as I was talking to that guys (who's name I unfortunately did not mention anywhere throughout my entire dream D;), Rin-chan suddenly popped up on my right, replacing that slutty girl who was totally annoying the hell out of me. Of course, whenever Rin-chan comes, I can't just ignore her !! I mean she's Rin afterall ;). So I started paying less attention to the guy, and onto Rin-chan instead. As I was talking to her about her plain-ish dress, and going on about like some kind of juice drink called, Bumba-bow (whatever the fuck that is xD;;), I suddenly felt empty space next to me. But for some reason, I ignored it, and continued to talk on (LOL maybe Rin-chan's beautiful face was too distracting xD //semi-sarcasm?). I was going on about something with Rin-chan when suddenly, I heard Luka-chan add in her comment. And I was like "...wait, Luka-chan wasn't here before.." And I looked behind me, Luka-chan totally replaced the cute guy that was next to me! At first I was just like "*gasp :O that's not nice." But then we started to all laugh and goof off. In the corner of my eye though, I totally noticed that elderly couple shooting daggers at me with their evil glares. They started to get really angry, and suddenly snapped their fingers. Then POOF, Choco-chan was sitting in their place. I was like "Choco-chan~~!!" And next thing I know, we were all talking about Tommy Hilfiger (it was my favorite store when i was a lil' girl. why I brought it up in a dream? i dunno xD). Remember, that huge fire place I mentioned earlier? Okay, so it suddenly puffed out into a blaze, and suddenly a UFO came out of it!! I was like "HOLYSHIT!!" Out of instinct, I grabbed my friends, and ran the hell out of there. Luka-chan was like "OHMIGOSH ITS ALIENS! I WANNA TOUCH" (yea, she has this weird thing about aliens)...xD. Anyways, I woke up as the Taj Mahal exploded behind us, and we were in that water thing in front of it. (btw, there were suddenly aliens because my alarm makes this weird scify ufo sound to wake me up xD.)

At first, when I woke up, I was like "What the fuck just happened? O___O" Then, I started to think deeply about it ..because I'm just a thoughtful person like that :>.

I remember Rin-chan told me about how dreams show a psychological sign of something that you feel deep down (or something like that...>__>).

So there I was, sitting up straight in my bed, and thinking...

I'm told I'm boy crazy. I even know I am. I go all crazy fangirl over like every hot guy I see xD (remember, I'm a growing teenage girl! blame my hormones :3). Yet...how come, I had more fun with my friends than that really hot guy who seemed into me? I chose friends over a guy. (Which is the founding of my principles, but we can leave that aside for now.) I didn't even care that much when Luka-chan replaced that guy. 

What I'm trying to get at is... my friends are much more important than some random guy in my life. They'll be there for me when I have my "major, catastrophic" problems. They're there when I need to talk about weird stuff like "bumba-bow" (i still dont know what the hell that is >____>). I feel that friends will last forever while a guy might just be passing by. (btw, i'm just saying this as an overall term. not saying that every guy you or i'll meet will leave. bcuz i believe i might get lucky some day, and meet this incredible guy who won't leave my crazy self alone :3).

And so, on my blog's one year anniversary, I want to thank my friends for...well, for being who they are! I thank each and every one of them, not just the three who actually appeared in my dream. Those three were probably just like some physical representation of all my friends (..er-that doesn't make sense, but let's just go with it! xD) Without their love and support for me, I probably wouldn't have been able to keep blogging for so long. I am truly grateful and lucky to have been able to spend these past three years with all of them :)