Simple. Happy. Love.

This picture expresses my feelings very well at the moment :D. I mean, the best word that describes how I'm feeling right now is happy. I'm so happy that I'm bursting and glowing and really just feeling damn amazing, at the moment.

LOL I'm practically always happy. And I think that I am probably pissing people off/making them jealous with this overflow of happiness right now ^ ^;;... but is it shameful to say that I don't really care? If I'm happier than the norm, than I'ma share 'bout it (because it's my blog xD).

Where to start?

A lot of nice things happened, really. Well, they're all minor things if you look at it from a sane person's point of view. However, I've never been too "sane", according to most people I know xD. This'll sound kind of corny, but the littlest things really do make me happy; especially if it's a lot of lil' things all clumped together ;D.

I honestly am very easy to amuse, impress, and/or cheer up.

psst... for future reference, the formula to cheering me up quick is:
Hugs + Ice Cream + Jackie Chan + Anime + Setsuna + Sour Gummy Worms + Hot Guys (kazuya kamenashi or Roy Qui >w<) + Ten Other Friends + All your Left Shoes ^You) ;D
On a serious note though, the real way for a renewed, happy-go-lucky Emiko is just to show that you genuinely care about me getting better ^____^. All I need is love <3~.

LOL I don't know why, but I'm a very simple person. Some people may think otherwise, but to be honest, the way I work is simple.
I can be condensed into these four things:

• I'm very understanding and not violent, so I'm easy to talk to ^__^ (basically outgoing :P)
• If I want to do something than I do it. (I'm very impulsive)
• If you treat me nicely, than I'll treat you nicely. If you treat me badly, than I'll still treat you nicely (but keep my distance?).
  [Golden rule: treat others how you want to be treated ;D
  I mean there's really no point in being mean to you if you're mean to me. You can't fight fire with fire.]
• I love my friends to death, and they're the most important thing to me in this whole world (besides family ofc). Therefore, if you upset/hurt my friends in anyway, you better start running because I'll make you regret living. I'm fucking serious about this part.

*cough. Anyways, I'll go on to what's making me happy xD;.

Not really sure where to start.
Oh! I found out Nyu-san cares about me a lot <3. LOL She's SUPER tsundere, so it's really hard to tell how she feels about you. I mean, I know we're friends, but I can't tell if I annoy the crap outta her, or make her happy, or maybe both @___@. But~, I have found out she cares about me ^____^. She denied it afterwards of course, but it's too late. I already found out <3. Nyu-san loves me~. Oh ho ho~, maybe I'll gain up the courage to ask her out to prom again ;D. LOL. I totally have an unrequited love situation when it comes to Nyu. But maybe the feelings aren't totally one sided now, eh? ROFL JK! I'm straight as a ruler <3. I love Nyu-san in the most heterosexual way, so don't get scared. ufufu~ ;D.

Besides, Nyu-san, I'm also been having fun with X-chan. Oh ho ho~. I totally made her crack up like hell today. It was funny. In science class, we sit like farrr away from each other (too far if you ask! D<), but I have like a clear line of sight to her face x3. So during science class, I was wiggling my eyebrows up and down at Choco-chan because well, I was trying to seduce her >D. ROFL JK <3. Anyways, X-chan looked at me funny when she noticed, so I turned towards her, and tried to seduce her as well >D. Oh ho ho~, I'm such a player, no? XD LOL X-chan started laughing so badly. I kept wiggling my eyebrows every time she'd look towards me, and she kept laughing each time~. The person next to her thought she was crazy xD. Yup, that's the power of the eyebrows, people. Dun underestimate the power of the eyebrows >D.

Then during math class, it got really bad. I don't know why, but I busted out laughing!! It was so weird, and then since I was laughing for no reason, I kept laughing even harder. Choco-chan and X-chan looked at me as if I was crazy, and their expressions were so funny, so I started laughing more xD. Then, I looked at meh son's face, and his face is just so hilarious, that I started laughing harder. I don't know why, but Ronny looks JUST like a koala and he's just so stupid in general, so looking at him makes me crack up XD. Which is such a terrible thing to say, but I ain't trying to be mean! (please believe me, Ronny!! xD).

So I had a laughing fest today.

Since Monday, I've been laughing so much like this. It's like I'm finally free to just be happy... LOL How to explain this? A weight has been lifted. Not quite sure if it's from my shoulders or my heart or my stomach. LOL yesh, my stomach. I have officially declared this morning that all emotions come from my stomach (and not my heart or brain like it does for a normal person). Why my stomach? Well because if that's where the butterflies fly, than so does every other emotion xD. Anyways, everything just seems brighter in general :D... but not like a blinding brightness xD. More like a omg-life-is-so-good kind of bright. Does that make sense? Does any of this make sense?! XD. Well, even if it doesn't make sense to you, it makes sense to me :) and that's all that really matters for me.

On a side note, since I don't like sharing about my love life, I'ma talk about other people's ;D.

Harr~. First off, I'ma just say my friend's boyfriend is a GENIUS! LOL. Today is their two month anniversary (awww <333!! >w<), so like any epicly, nice boyfriend would, he got her a gift to celebrate ;D. IT WAS SO INGENIOUS AND CUTE THAT I DIED <33!!
What he got her was a key-chain plunger~ !! LOL It was blue ;D. Anyways, you're probably thinking, "Okay, Emiko has officially gone insane and lost all sense whatsoever." But oh ho ho~, on the contrary, mon cher ami ;D. It was what was on the plunger that made it so cute~.

"My love for you is like diarrhea.
I can't hold it in..
It's not shit though."

Kyaaa~ >w<.
LOL the weirdest metaphor ever, but it's really quite adorable XD. Besides, when you're fourteen, this is the best you can get. A plunger with a insanely odd (but cute and semi-grammatically off??) quote~ ;D. Haha, but I'd honestly have to say that I'd much rather get a odd-as-hell plunger key-chain with a thoughtful quote then a dozen roses. Roses are so cliche nowadays XD. Plungers are unique LOL. Oooh~, but a bouquet of Lily of the Valley flowers would be just amazing for me <3. Mostly since it's a weird flower to be put in a bouquet solo, and might be hard to request(?). (ps. dunno if I'm supposed to be sharing this "plunger story", but I'm sure it's okay xD;;)
Choco-chan said that what he did seems like something I would do. LOL great mind thinks alike, eh? ;D
You should've seen my friend's face though. She's quite shy, and doesn't talk very much, nor show much emotion. Despite this, her face was just glowing >w< !! And I actually was able to see her teeth! LOL She never shows her teeth when smiling. It was so cute when she kept trying to calm her smile down, and not show her teeth. But I guess she was just too happy to not smile so wide >w< !! aww so cute~~.

Love is really in the air though ;D. Willy actually asked Luka-chan to the prom!! It was so- ohmigosh ^O^ !!! I didn't get to see the actual asking, since my idiot son kept distracting me xD. However, I do know that Luka-chan said yesh!! x3 Kyaa~~!! Luka-chan has a date to prom~. LOL Luka-chan is so pretty, but she hardly gets asked out (mostly because she shies away from boys. but shhh~, you didn't hear this from meh ;D). Oh ho~, so I'm so happy for Luka-chan :D. Mostly for Willy though because he's the one who likes her. I don't know how Luka-chan feels about Willy though. She doesn't share anything about her love life though Dx.
Hmph, I still prefer Willy x Jay though!! I'll forever be a fan of the Willy x Jay pairing <3.

Then there's a few other things involving Pari-chan and Choco-chan. eh heh hehh~. I love the end of the year. Since this is our last year together, everyone is finally getting their asses together, and actually gaining some guts!! >D. I don't think I'm supposed to share Pari-chan's and Choco-chan's stories though, so I'ma shut up about them xD. Haha, but all this drama is happening all at once. It's quite hilarious. Only 14, and everyone is already declaring love and whatnot. I wonder if any of us really know what love is~. I wonder if anyone ever really does~.

Haha, the most drama-loving, romance-crazy girl, Rin-chan doesn't have any love drama though xD. She's so funny and brilliant though, so I don't know why she doesn't~. LOL wait- I know why! She's too darn conceited for her own, and doesn't think anyone is good enough for her xD. I don't really know anyone good enough for her either -except meh ;D- so I can understand where's she's coming from.

Oh! On the sad side of this love-boom, meh son broke up with his girlfriend ;A;. It's so sad because they were really one of my favorite school pairings >3D). Well, mother and son aren't really supposed to anywas xD LOL. But no worries! He can always go to prom with Jay x3. I don't really favor the pairing, but I guess it could work for one night, eh? ;D

Hm~. With all this crazy love nonsense, you're probably wondering, "What about you, Emiko?". Ufufu~. Well all I can really say, dun worry, I ain't left out of this love-boom season ;D. But that's all you people are gonna get outta me, so haha~ sucks for you xD.

Anyways, in conclusion, I am happy and enjoying the entertainment from the love-drama at school ;D. This is nice. very nice. xD

Oh, I'm so happy today >w<.

Pinata Project

It's almost the end of the year, and my Spanish teacher has given us a sort of "end of the year" project to do. We have to make a pinata~. For those who don't know what a pinata is, it is a decorated clay pot or papier-mâché mold filled with sweets and gifts and smashed open at fiestas. Or otherwise known as that thing people usually hang up in the air, and have a crazy kid whack it with a stick, blindfolded. Once broken, a bunch of greedy kids dash to the floor, to grab as much fattening candy as they can ^__^. 
LOL just a lil' random fact to know: Pinatas originated from China ;D.


Anyways, guess what~~? For my pinata project, I'm working in a group with Nyu-san and X-chan!!! \(^o^)/ !! Like KYAAA~!! That's the best part of the project!! >w< !! I mean, I practically die of happiness, everyday I get to work with them. ♥♥♥. To be able to work exclusively with meh hubby, Nyu-san and one of my role-models, X-chan has gotta be the most awesomest thing ever >////<.


Now, I really do wish that I could've worked with Choco-chan too D: I mean Choco-chan is just so epic and badass and cool. But nooo~. My meanie Spanish teacher just had to limit the group size to being three people Dx. I wish I Choco-chan could have been in my group too TT^TT. LOL I still hang out with her at her house like practically almost everyday though xD so I guess that makes up for it ;D. <3~. Yea, I go to Choco-chan' shouse so often, I could say I practically live there xD. Oh! Speaking of which, I remember having this dream where I waved hi to Choco-chan's sister. Yea, it was so weird! She was watering the sidewalk (don't know why....), and I saw her, and was like "Oh mi gosh! HI~!!! :D" And she was like "HEYY~! :D" and waved all crazily back at me. It was strange @____@.


LOL *cough. Okay, going off topic here~. Anyways, I think my group's pinata will turn out epic! ^O^ !! We're making Shadow, from the Sonic, and he's going to be holding Bomb-omb, from Mario. Everybody is excited to see ours because it looks kinda complicated. And it is @___@. I am almost worrying that we won't be able to do this (mostly because my dad keeps telling me how impossible it is for us to do T^T. like gawsh, not helping, dad xP). I'm sure we'll be able to do this though! :D And even if we can't, the Bomb-omb is pretty easy to make. Yea, we're smart, and came up with a plan B x3. If Shadow doesn't work out, we're just gonna hand in the Bomb-omb ;D. Our pinata is going to be 2 to 3 feet big. And when we're done, I'll take a picture of it and show it to you people! I was going to take pictures of the whole process, but ... that seemed like a lot of work xD. We're making the decorative kind of pinata, the kind that you don't break, because we don't want our hard work to just be destroyed in two seconds Dx. That'd suck. However, we cannot resist our destructive side to us, so we're going to make the Bomb-omb breakable, and filled with sweet candy ;D. LOL Nyu-san wanted the Bomb-omb to explode, but we weren't sure how to make that possible (thank God!), so we are just going to make it whack-able with a stick :P.
Oh, but before I show you what my pinata looks like. Here's the sketch of what our pinata will (hopefully) look like.

Had to white out the bottom corner though because it had our names ^ ^;;


 Oh! And as some of you may  have noticed, I redecorated my blog :D.
I thought some of you might have been getting tired of the Hastune miku themed banners, so I decided to add in everyone else too! XD Just to semi-mix it up a bit. LOL Next time, I'll do something different. Not sure what I'll do, but it'll be something special ;D. And I decided to go all "Pon and Zi" on you people (because Pon and Zi is just adorable, okay! 8D).
The picture I used for the banner doesn't belong to me (oh, gawd, I wish
Also, I obviously, didn't create "Pon and Zi" xD nor the pictures that I used. It was by Azuzephre from dA. Go check out the other incredibly cute Pon and Zi stuff >w< !! It's so "awww" worthy <3.
And for the bottom half of the songs on my new mixpod it's by a youtuber :D. http://www.youtube.com/user/thisozmcherry. She goes by the name of Cher. And she is AWESOME!! I swear, she can genderbend her voice so well. Starting from the song Pon Pon, it's her. She has such epic voice control. I lover her >w<. So I urge you to go check out her Youtube Channel!! <33

Oh Shnap, Time Flies!

Haven't been posting that often lately. I guess... it's because well, life is pretty good lately. Every day, the entire day, I'm having fun. I'm happy. There's just so much I could share with you, so much that's been packed into one day, that .... I just don't know how to blog about it.


I finally found some time to sit down and think, so I'ma blog >D. Been so busy lately with my Regents Exams coming up and graduation and not to mention Prom! >___<"

Time flies by so fast! I didn't realize prom was in just two weeks until Choco-chan brought it up the other day. It felt like I had so much time before it'd happen, but it's here. Oh, it's here alright O~O;;! I have the dress and the shoes. And I would love to take a picture of it to show you people, however, I'd still like to keep it a semi-surprise for my friends (a lot of them read my blog, so it's not safe to post a picture or two xD). I'll definitely take pictures of it, and show you guys afterwards! (not sure if I'll take a pic with me in it, or not xD;;).
But forget about the dress and shoes for now, I still don't know what I'm going to do with my hair or my face! The hardest part of it all >~<. LOL I mean, sure, people look at the outfit, but after awhile, they start to focus on the face more. The face is what's important. That's what everyone looks at in the end. Err- I'm thinking about going to a salon and having them do it professionally for me xD. Not sure what I want though :T.

No date to prom ^ ^;. No one has officially asked me at least. I don't really like anyone in particular either, so it's not like I can ask anyone. Yea, I believe that it's okay for the girl to ask the boy out. I mean boys take too long, and I'm very impatient xD. LOL so if I really like the guy than I don't see any point in keeping it a secret. Nothing'll happen unless I or him say something. And it's not like boys my age gots the guts to say anything, so who else is left to make the first move? The girl, that's who. xP. Haha, but I don't like anyone, so there's really no point.
I already declared that I'm going to prom with Nyu-san though ^3^ since she's meh hubby~. ♥♥♥. (you know, I found out I had four hubbies @____@. Nyu-san. Luchia-chan. Timmy. And Setsuna. Damn, when'd I become a polygamist? XD;;)
A bunch of people were joking around about me going with Timmy. To be honest, I really wouldn't mind. Timmy is a great guy :D. But it wouldn't mean anything special to me since I'm not interested in him that way ^ ^;;.

LOL at lunch, it was quite funny though. Since prom is coming up soon, everyone is poking fun at all the couple rumors. Like Luka-chan and Willy (some guy who's rumored to like Luka >w<). Har har, I think these two make a pretty good duo. However, I prefer Willy x Jay !! ♥♥. LOL two males, but they're just so cute together >w<. They're such close best friends that it's quite adorable :D. But meh stupid son, Ronny, decided to bud in on my second fav pairing. Now it's a love triangle where Willy likes Ronny. And Jay likes Ronny. And Ronny takes them both. He's quite greedy if you ask me, since he already has a girlfriend (I'ma call her Coconut, with a lack of a better nickname to give XD) !!
Sigh ;A; so my Willy x Jay pairing is dying. Which I refuse to accept. So I'll go smack Ronny later xP.

However, my most favorite pairing of all is Timmy x Angela !!!
kyaaa~. Those two are just so cute together >w<. And with this said, despite me being cool with going to prom with Timmy, I'd have to reject! Because Timmy has to go with Angela, no questions about it.

..............
yea, I'ma shut up now. Since my non-classmate readers have probably gotten bored with my insane rambling about weird fan pairings with my classmates XD;;.


Anyways, I'm going to my weirdass middle school prom on June 6th. I have no idea how I'ma pretty myself up at this moment. I'm kinda freaking/stressing out since I have a High School Class Placement test the very next day. And my Science Lab Regents the day after that xO.
And I have no date (since Nyu-san has rejected my desire to take her to prom TT___TT //heartbroken

Hm... this'll end up for an interesting event, I suppose ^ ^;;.

Stay tuned to see my post about it xD. (probably won't post until the Saturday of that week because I can't come home at 10 or 11 pm from prom, blog, and still get enough sleep for my test! Dx)

Killing My Stomach, But Havin' Lots of Fun xD

Today is movie day at my house! My family LOVES movies (that includes me). LOL My dad teaches us things through movies. It's what he calls his "teaching through movies" method. Very unoriginal name, I know xD. It's a work in progress so far. Haha, but basically, he lets us watch all sorts of movies. Then afterwards, he explains to us the lesson of the movie, the variety of characters, or just little things from the movie he thinks we should remember. I learned my street smarts through movies XD. (ps. If you can come up with a creative name for this, than comment below? xD)

Anyways, every once in awhile, my family will reserve a whole day to watching movies. Since this happens mostly on the weekends, this event doesn't start until after lunch (because we can never wake up until lunch xD). It's quite the fun event! The day before, we'll buy a whole crap load of snacks and food and drinks. I mean what's a movie day without snacks, right?! Sometimes we don't even plan this. We'd all go down to the little convenience store a few blocks down, and buy whatever snacks we can find xD.

Haha, this kind of thing really kills my diet though xD. My middle school "prom" is coming up, and I needa lose weight ^ ^;;, so I've been trying to cut back on the calories. But gawsh, I can't not eat snacks during this event. LOL so maybe I'll have the will power to only eat a little xD;; (don't get your hopes up though). My dad just brought home a whole bunch of ice cream too (our whole freezer is filled with the stuff!). Gawsh, I wonder if he understands the word "I can't get fat now, so don't buy any sweets dammit!" Okay, that was more of a phrase >___> but you get my point xD. Besides, Choco-chan has been stuffin' me with all her Java Chip ice cream too. Gawsh, it sucks that I have a major sweet tooth that hasn't gone away since I was born xP.

My dad has no idea what kind of movies we're going to watch though. He usually picks at random, and hopes it's good xD. This kinda system provides for a great surprise though lolol. I been craving a Jackie Chan movie lately. I mean I love Jackie Chan >w< !! He's just so cool~ ♥. If I ever got to meet him in person, I'd be the happiest girl alive TwT.
I love Jackie Chan, but I'd have to say my favorite actor is Jim Carry. That man is so ridiculously funny xD. I love Bruce Almighty and Yes Man and Liar Liar. All very good movies! x3. Thanks to the movie Bruce Almighty, I learned how to spell the word "beautiful." B-E-A-UTIFUL~ ♥♥.

*cough. ^_^ Anyways~, just felt like sharing the news about my movie day with you people. Thought maybe you and your family could try it out too! :D. Just buy a load of snacks (not optional, ppl~!) and grab a bunch of random movies. Then just sit back, relax, and enjoy B).

I really enjoy family movie day though. Even though we're all pretty quiet when we're watching the movie, it's a form of bonding. Bonding is good for the soul. Ah, who am I kidding? I don't know crap about the "soul". But I swear, it's really nice. Gives you this warm feeling inside when you have everyone together in a dark room x3 eh heh~ that just sounded kinda creepy. *trollface.

But crappp~ I gotta work on meh stupid science homework TT_____TT. So I have ta end this here, so I can finish it in time for the movie party~ ^___^

hope y'all have a nice day.
smile lots.
and don't get into too much trouble ;D

Yamada-kun to 7-nin no Majo

Got tons of work to do, but I gotta make a quick post.

While on my break from homework (xP bleh, stupid hw), I started reading this manga, Yamada-kun to 7-nin no Majo. I thought it'd be interesting to read since it's by the same person who wrote Yankee-kun to Megane-chan. And my assumption was correct! This manga is totally awesome ♥. I thought since the characters looks so damn like Yankee-kun to Megane-chan, the story would be similar too... b-but.. I couldn't have been more wrong. @__@
It's a darn gender-bender manga!!!

GOSH I SHOULD REALLY READ THE GENRE-TYPE BEFORE I READ THE STORY!

*faceplam OTL. I fail.
This happens to me a lot though! I'll get like surprise yaoi manga or something because I start reading without checking what kind of manga it is ;_____;. I mean from the summary, the story seems alright, but the actual story is just so wrong. Dx

LOLOL But Yamada-kun to 7-nin no Majo is surprisingly very good for being a gender-bender manga. It's kinda cute to be honest! LOL And quite hilarious too (seeing how it's by the same person who wrote Yankee-kun to Megane-chan)!!

Anyways, so the point of this was just to share that I'm reading my first gender-bender manga XDD.

I've always wondered how the hell would you write a story with a gender-bender theme. I guess I know now xD;;.

Yamada-kun to 7-nin no Majo is an ongoing manga series, and has nine volumes so far. I read it from this site: http://kissmanga.com/Manga/Yamada-kun-to-7-nin-no-Majo. I've only finished up to chapter three. But I like it so far :). LOL so if you're not afraid to try something new (or "old", depending on what kind of anime fan you are xD), then find some time to read it~.

Writer's Block

Gosh, I am having a total writer's block lately! Yup, I'm being straightforward and honest here. A lot of stuff happened this week, and I just can't write about it. I want to write about it, but I can't because I got damn writer's block. Everything that I start to write sounds like crap, and this just epicly fails/sucks in general xP.
That's why I haven't blogged in a few days. I've been wanting to blog. Constantly, I'm like "I should blog about this later!" I'll even go so far as to even plan the exact words I'd say (or at least the first few sentences). However, when I sit down at the computer... all thoughts just disappear. It's like they never existed @___@. At the very pivotal moment of my idea, it just stops. leaves. goes away. ends. dies. D: and it makes me sad.

Har, so I decided to roam around on deviantart for inspiration. Had no luck xD;;. Found some great pictures though :D

And through my search, I came across two works that had a cute idea to it xD.

LOL smiles are free! I see no reason in why we can't give them out xD.
Like I always say, "People are most beautiful when they're happy." (and super ugly as hell when they're upset). So smile today. tomorrow. and the day after that. Because your smile is beautiful no matter who you are! I believe this to be an absolute fact. Being happy makes you beautiful; end of story. So smile, god dammit! >D

 ROFL XD AND I LOVE THIS ONE! Mustaches are just so much fun x3. (the person spelled the word wrong, but who cares! Haha, at meh school, there's this one perverted guy who wears this shirt with a mustache that looks like this. xDDD so this reminded me of him. LOL which is terrible because that guy scares the crap outta me ^ ^;; //shivers. I mean he's just so perverted that it creeps me out (it takes a great perv to freak out the perv).

If ya want, you can print out something like this, and post it somewhere. It'll cheer people up, I suppose xD. I mean YOLO ♥, right?

Oh! This brings me back to this thing I blogged about earlier. The "Operation: Change the World". LOL Well, I posted a few around the place, but...it started raining TT^TT //sob. It's still rainy-ish season, so I've decided to wait on posting them around everywhere. Har, so those few who were wondering what the hell happened to that idea, well now you know xD.


Well, it's like 11:20 pm. Dun really have any burst of inspiration of what to write yet, so I'ma just end it here XD. My brain usually works best on weekends, so just wait a bit longer, prz~ ^___^.


ps. I have a few ideas on what to write about (but due to my writer's block, I couldn't write about them). Since quite a bit of ppl has been active on the commenting, I decided to just flat out ask this question:

Which idea do want me to post about the most?

1. Ways to tell if a person likes you (unisex version?)
   (LOL XD saw a youtube video about this. thought it'd be interesting if I were to write something similar to it.)
2. Stereotypes >:|
   (a lot of people talk about this since it's easy to talk about since there's so many xD. Just wonderin' if any of ya were curious about my thoughts on stereotypes too).
3. Prom
   (...well there's a lot of things I could say about prom, but if ya want something specific than just comment about it xD).
4. My little siblings/family in general
   (I dunno. Any of you curious about what my family is like?)
5. Facts about me starting from A to Z
   (xD found this idea online. lol. basically I just tell you a fact about me that somehow starts with A, B, C, ...and all the way to Z.)
6. My mom
   (I'm ready to finally share! I warn you though. This is kind of a sad story. But a lot of people ask about my mom, so I have decided that I am ready to talk about the event :>.)
7. Steve's death ;A;
   (my friend, Steve, officially died last Tuesday. I still keep him next to my desk. I just can't bare to hold a funeral for him :'< ....)
8. Other
   (My ideas are kinda lame (now that I actually list them), so if you are more curious to find out about something else, than feel free to go ahead and ask/share the idea. ^___^)

Alright, so I numbered your options for you, so you can just type in the comment section the number of the one you want me to post about. Please pick only one that you want to read about first. And if you are also curious a tad bit about the others than list those two if you want, but make it clear which one is the one you wanna read about first. You may also specify what part of the topic you want me to talk about if you so please ^w^.

To Join, or Not to Join?

High school is coming up soon (and I'm scared half to death @___@;;). My dad was talking to me about joining some kind of sports team. ....>______> yea... dunno about that. LOL He suggested track (I've mentioned this before). Running is a great activity. (tbh I prefer watching people run...because it's kinda entertaining XD lol). I have very low stamina though ;A;. I can run pretty fast, but only for like five seconds and then I just die. It's so terrible Dx. Since I've been playing more of volleyball during gym, my dad was like "You should join the volleyball team them." ...sigh ;____; I wish. Volleyball is fun ♥, and I ain't too shabby at it. However...(yesh, there's always a 'however' with me xP), I don't believe I'm good enough for an actual team >3<". It's not that I don't have confidence (maybe it is a lil'), but I mean...when you're in a team, you have people who are actually super committed...and then you have me who just does it for fun ^ ^;;. I don't want to join the team, totally suck, and piss off the people who are actually serious about the sport >____>. My dad tells me, "Volleyball is a team sport. Everyone is trying to play their best. If you happened to be the weakest player there, can they really be that mad at you?" ...uh, yes dad, yes. They can (and probably will) be mad at me ^ ^;;. If I suck than I cause them to lose. If we lose than people get mad. And when people are mad, they blame who ever they can. Team sport or not, the weakest gets picked on/lectured/insulted/bullied/terrorized/ignored/degraded/ ....and the stare O^O. Yesh, the "stare". You know that disappointed look that everyone naturally knows how to give? The one that just shouts "Ugh, it's all your fault." or "What's wrong with you? Why do you suck so badly?" You know that kind of stare. The stare that makes your gut twist and turn, and causes you to feel terribly guilty and upset about your lame-ness/bad skills. TT^TT it's such an evil stare that has the ability to make you want to crawl under a rock, and just die Dx.
I know about this stare. When I play volleyball during gym class, I get this stare sometimes. I'm pretty okay in volleyball (or at least I believe so); not the worst, but not the best. However, there are just times when I completely suck. No real reason why, it's just one of those bad days, you know? So during those days, I get the stare. and it's scary O^O. Even though it's just regular gym class volleyball, people can still be pretty serious about it. Whenever I miss the ball or don't serve correctly, I get the stare, and I feel lame. I feel so lame that I just want to stop playing. I just want to go sit in a corner and sulk TT^TT. The stare is powerful, my dear reader. Well, maybe I'm just too self conscious or trying too hard to reach everyone's standards. I don't know what it is. But it makes me not want to join any kind of sports team whether I'm good at it or not. I don't like failing Dx. It's a terrible thing about me. I can handle failure, but that doesn't mean I like it. I don't like it one bit. Failure tastes like garbage, and makes you feel like shit. It just sucks, end of story.
My dad doesn't understand this though. He just kept going on and on about how good it would be to join a team. "How do you know you won't be any good? You gotta try. Don't just quite before you even start." and yadda yadda. Just broken record of tautology (yea, that's right, I know big words xD). Either way I'm losing though. I'll feel terrible if I join a team. And thanks to my dad, I'll feel terrible if I don't join a team.
I don't want to join a team just because my dad told me to though. It'll be unfair to the other players. You know what I mean? The other people join because they love the sport and their committed. If you got some half-assed player who doesn't care on the team, they're just going to be brought down by them. I don't want to bring anyone down.
Plus, I don't really feel up to committing to something either. It just means more expectations and more work. Those are two things I don't want more of. I don't see why I can't just go to regular gym, and just the regular warm ups, and be a regular student who doesn't do anything special. I mean don't get me wrong. I like being different, and trying everything....but I'm more of a solo person. If I stay solo then I don't have to worry about disappointing anybody. I can do whatever I want, and the consequences that come with those actions will only be brought onto me, nobody else. If I'm on a team, I can't fail. I might ruin things for them. I'll take everyone down with me, for whatever bad decisions I could possibly make.
Do you understand how I feel? If you do then great. I wish my dad did. I know he's only thinking of whats best. When he went to high school, he had a bunch of fun on his sport team thing (I don't remember which sport it was that he played o.O;;). I mean I know it's fun to do things in groups.  When with friends, things can be so colorful. It's like a chocolate sundae with extra sun!... if that makes any sense ^ ^;;. (as you can see, I'm not the best at coming up with metaphors/similes XD).

sigh... so I dunno. Maybe I'll join a team, see what it's like.... I mean I should at least try, right? If my dad thinks it's a great idea, than how bad could it be? If I don't like it than I can just quite or not participate next year. should be simple enough. You only live once, right?... erg- but why do I not get the best feeling about it?

ps. uh... this is assuming that I actually make it into the team... xD;;

Sorry for Being Ugly

I haven't posted in forever @___@ //shot.
No excuses today, just going to get to the point with my post~ :D. (I'ma try and stay on topic for once this time. lol xD).

I'm debating on whether to talk about my decreasing happiness or the great books I'm reading lately. I'm leaning towards writing the review on my books since I really don't like talking about my feelings. But I suppose I'll talk about my feelings instead (because I think you care more about how I feel than my stupid books? //shot. that's conceited thinking. xD;;)

LOL first of all, don't worry~. By "decreasing happiness", I don't mean I'm going into some crazy depression or something. (I repeat: I'm not going into any kind of depression). I personally feel it's a waste of time to be sad. Like the saying goes: a second spent on sadness, is a second you'll never get back~. With this strong belief in that phrase (it's literally became one of my life mottos), I'm usually a happy-go-lucky girl who has stars in my eyes. However, things haven't been that easy anymore. I can't just move on from something that bothers me as simply as I did before. Whatever bothers me buries itself into my mind, and forces me to constantly think about it longer than I should. I've turned a bit sour because of all this negativity. I don't like that. It's not right to be so upset and mad all the time. Makes me look very ugly. (explanation: I believe people look most beautiful when happy and smiling. so my sourness and generally bitchy mood makes me feel ugly.)

I don't know if it's because I haven't been sleeping well lately (mostly because of all the homework. I should really stop procrastinating ;A;). Or perhaps it's something else. I vaguely talked about it to my dad earlier. He says it's because I'm growing. ...=___= lamest reason ever. My dad always says that's the reason for everything. Supposedly since I'm growing, I'm noticing things more often. I'm seeing things in a different light or something like that. And according to him, because I'm able to see things in a wider scope, I start to see the more negative things in life as well.

Personally, I really don't like that ^ ^;;. I like being able to see things how I see things. No need to change. I'm able to understand things, and control how I feel. But now, it's different. I can't control my feelings. I feel myself slowly slipping away as every lil' imperfection starts to piss me off. I've let it seethed out a few times this week; anger that is. Pari-chan pointed it out once ^ ^;. I snapped at something (I forgot what) for no apparent reason, and she was surprised. People don't usually see me mad. I've been able to carefully cover up and hide away that part of me; the aggressive and wild part. To start to lose control like this makes me worried. Like I've mentioned before, I'm quite the tough cookie... so I can cause a lot of damage if I'm not careful >_________>.

So yea, basically this is what has been on my mind for like a day or two... At the moment, I won't name what I've seen in this new negative scope of mine... because that might cause problems. I don't want problems right now :T I've had to deal with enough of those already (some I haven't been able to completely fix yet xP). But my hint to what's been bugging me lately is: people. People are annoying as hell. I love people for they are interesting and deep creatures. But sometimes, they can be a real pain in the ass xP.
(ps. the person I'm about to talk about is a separate issue. and not apart of the people that I am talking about above.)
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On a side note, I decided to just let you know that Gleek-kun and I aren't friends anymore. Yea, it was decided awhile ago, but I've decided to make it official by stating it on my blog (which doesn't really mean anything xD but it just feels official to me). For those long time readers, you might have wondered where Gleek-kun had went (he was spamming my comment section for awhile there). Now you know why. We've had some differences, so we decided to not be friends anymore. LOL yea, he decided to go back to the elementary school ways, and went all "I'm not going to be your friend anymore" on me. To be honest, I didn't really care. Gleek-kun didn't act like much of a friend to me anyways. No respect for me at all. Treated me like a dog. Doesn't know his boundaries. So yea, not too upset about this whole "Gleek-kun issue".
He can really annoy me though. The stupid guy doesn't want to be my friend anymore, yet he constantly tries to talk to me. I dislike it when people can't make up their minds -__-. He also continues to act so trivial by pretending to ignore me (ex. like saying hi to everyone around me, but me) and things like that.
But Gleek-kun, if you're reading this, I must honestly say that I don't care. It's not that easy to make me feel guilty, especially for something that I didn't do. It was all you who caused this. Don't expect me to go begging to be your friend again.
I don't know what he's trying to do lately though. He's been publicly displaying his dislike towards me. For example in class today, we were talking about our dreams. His dream was to keep in contact with everyone except me. Dunno if he's trying to upset me or embarrass me. He's really only embarrassing himself though by acting so childish. Nobody really knew what was going on, and everyone thought he dissed me or something.  Ha! I'd really prefer him to not contact me... like ever. never ever.

I'm probably not being the best person by saying these things about Gleek-kun (especially when he might be reading this), but I'm really getting sick and tired of this guy! I don't know what his problem is, but he's really getting on my nerves lately D<. I wanted to be the better person, and let him go on babbling like an idiot about his little issues with me. No more! Now he's just whining. The guy has really gotta learn when to just move on. Just leave me alone already!

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..........er- >______> sorry...me ranting on like this is probably showing a deeper, uglier side of me. i really hate this side of me, but i just needed to get this out.

people are stupid. end of story.

It Feels Good to Read

I promised I'd blog by today.

but... >_____> I'm unbearably busy with that whole "becoming a better person" thing. It's more work than I thought at first xD;;. It should've been obvious that this wouldn't be easy, but I suppose I have a real bad habit of not thinking things through enough ^ ^;. Anyways, I've been doing good for the start of May (the time I'm supposed to start). I sort of gave up on the photoshop thing. I'm going to wait until the summer since photoshop takes up a lot of time apparently, and time is something I don't' have ;A;. But no worries! I have been learning new vocabulary... and guess what? //snicker snicker x3 I've been ....*drum roll plz~* ..reading!! ^3^ aren't you proud? Haha, I may ramble on about what a nerd I can be sometimes, but I really don't read as much as I should. The other day I went to the library with Choco-chan. And let me tell you this, it felt pretty darn good to go into a library again since I haven't done so in about a year.

shhh... I'm about to tell you a secret here now. Three or so years back, before I came to New York, I... *looks around cautiously* was a studious bookworm. LOL xD hard to believe, eh? None of meh friends can believe it so, either. I mean, I am the lazy one of the group who finds breathing to be a chore in itself, let alone the work it takes to read!

Something happened since three years back 'till now. I don't know what, but I just couldn't find the time to read. When I was young and living back in the suburban area, I had nothing to do but read. You need a car in order to go somewhere, and I wasn't old enough to go on my own, let alone drive. So what does a young lil' girl do when she has nothing else to do? read, of course xD. I'm not going to say anything crazy like "books where the adventures I wasn't allowed to experience as a kid." But what I will say is that it feels good to read; like really read for my own pleasure, and not for some school assignment xP. Made me feel smarter than the other lil' kiddies at my school xD. I get to learn stuff that schools don't always teach you. Reading about other people's experiences makes me feel like I'm experience them too. It's like I learned the same life lesson as the characters did in the story. Maybe I only learned a quarter of the intended lesson, but that's good enough for me. As long as I learn something, ne? xD. Haha, reading is m~a~g~i~c~a~l~ 8D *rainbow affect*.

Anyways, when I went to the library with Choco-chan, it was fun! :D or at least as fun as it can get at a library xD. I grabbed about six fat books off the shelf, all of which I want to read very much! LOL I must've annoyed Choco-chan a lot though xD. She reads a whole lot, and was suggesting books to me. But you see, I have this weird issue. I never read books that people suggest to me. I don't know why o___o. Like if you were to hand me a book, saying something like, "Emiko, you should read ___(instert foreign book name here)__. It's a really cool book :D." I'll be like "uh...sure. //secretly puts book back." ^ ^;; it's not that I don't trust other people's opinions. It's just a book looks so much more unappealing once someone suggests it to you. I guess I like feeling as if I'm the first to explore the book (even though I know some other random stranger probably did before me). Don't ask me why. It's just how things are xD.

Haha, but anyways, reading books will help me to become a smarter, better person. With this thought, I am going to read all the books I got at the library in a timely fashion. Usually, I get lazy, and take like three weeks to read one book. This time, I'm planning on reading two books in one weekend ^ ^. So I should finish all six books in a total of three weeks :). Choco-chan said she'll reward me with my favorite snack (that only she owns xD) if I can complete this task :D //is highly motivated!! Rin-chan doesn't believe I can do it ;A;. She has no faith in me whatsoever. Which makes me very sad D': ...and all the more determined to prove her wrong! XD. LOL I dunno why, but out of all the people in my group, I love annoying her most. She's just so much fun to pick on ^3^.

How I'm going to work exercising into my schedule is still a mystery, but I'll work it out somehow! XD. Haha, but in general, I've been more active in gym, and whatnot as well :D. And cutting back on the number of snacks I eat XD. LOL so I'm working hard ^ ^. Hopefully, I can achieve my goal :)