Sunday, March 24, 2013

Finding Myself in this Hazy Weather

You know, to be honest, I don't like this time of adolescents at all~. Being a teen is baffling.You're too old to be a child, but too young to be an adult. And during this time of confusion, you have to be able to find yourself as well. The worst part of it is that when I was a child, I thought I already knew myself. Now, I'm told that I haven't discovered anything at all? Whenever I think about stuff like this, I come to all sorts of conclusions about myself. Afterwards, I feel pretty accomplished, but only to find out two weeks later that I've changed into a different self. And I have to go through how many years of this nonesense? LOL. Not sure what to do about this, so my only solution is to blog! haha XD.

Okay, so far in my life, I've established that I'm a fun and happy person with a weak sense of will power. LOL. I've also confirmed that I don't really have the face or know-how on being one of those cute-sy Asian girls. Like have any of you realized that Asian girls are really really cute-sy? o3o. I'm asain, and like.... I can't be cute at all. I'm more of a "HAHA. That's adorable. Nice try, kid *pat pat" kind of cute. LOL. Thus, with this kind of mentality, I have become witty and coolsies and perhaps, a little bad ass-ish(?) :'D.

BUT HIGH SCHOOL HAS DESTROYED THE LOGICC about myself.

LOL because lately, I've been trying to act cute ;A;. Like not neccessarily trying, just have been. I think it's because all my guy classmates have like suddenly realized that I'm not some scary smart lady, so they've begun to tease meh D; In the beginning of the year, I was like quiet and proper during class, and everybody had this idea that I'm some super ingenius person who's way above their level. LOL. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? XD Stupid lil' meh was seen to be smart? Haha, then I started doing group work with people, and everybody was like "OMG. Emiko is just like meee." LOL. And somehow that gave invitation for boys to be messing with me ;A; because apparently, I'm really fun to tease.
So my natural instinctual protection sequence is to act cute and be like "Stahpp it~. You're being a meanie pants~." AND IDKY. LOL. Like what the fuck is a meanie pants? XD. It's like "MHMM. That's right. Your pants are mean~!" no. That just doesnt work o3o.

OH! And aside from trying to handle attention in less retarded ways, I've started talking like real ghetto-ish. LOOL. I'm just like "This ain't gonna work no more" or "That guy be cray cray." But a wannabe-cute, witty, comical chic can't be talking ghetto. It doesn't work that way ;A;.

I believe this is what one would call "finding oneself." Eughh. D; Harr.

Lately, I've been upset though~ because all them stupid ass boys be picking on meh D;
Like apparently, I'm not a girl to them, but still a girl. A girl leaning toward the manly side. or something like that LOL. And it's like everyday, I gots at least one guy telling me I'm fat, stupid, or manly. It's like gawsh ;A; people are so harsh. And I'm not even fat D;
It's really stupid. Whenever I say out right, "I'm fat", some guy would be like "You're being a stupid girl~. You're not fat~." Then like five minutes later, that same guy will call me fat. >3<;;
So I'm upset~ because trying to take all of that from like ten guys everyday just sucks~. And I mean like it shouldn't bother me, but it does. Getting bullshit from one or two people is nothing, but from many it's like ughhh. Of course, I understand they're just "teasing" or "messing around", but it still sucks. Like sometimes I just don't know :V. At some point, I will break down xP. Last Thursday, I just went all silent and gloomy because I didn't know what to do anymore. That's really weird for me too because I'm never quiet. Haha XD.
At the end of the day, it was really nice though. Because of uh... idk let's call him Chouchou~ (it means "pet" in French, and he's totes my pet ^^) . He took me "bread shopping" after going on and on about how he didn't like bread. LOL. I mean it's really nice when you're having a bad day, and then your friend acts all stupid, bat-shit funny on you xD. He came and saved my day unintentionally though~. Chouchou is that kind of friend who just makes you go "what the fuck? XD" the entire day because he just says the darnest things. haha.

Chouchou and I went to visit Pari-chan, bought some breadd (he forced me to buy bread because he "didnt want to be the only one buying stuff" xD), and semi-prank called Luka-chan. LOL. It was amazing :P.

OH. And last Friday was my one month anniversary with Nairb ♥♥♥.
The gift he decided to give me was himself. And I was like "OMGG. SO HAPPY~ I'll cherish 'it' forever ;w;". And my gift to him was myself. LOL. I put a gift bow on my face and everything. XD. We're an amazing couple. legits =w=b.

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