i'm just really annoyed right now

The rain had finally stopped. For awhile there, I was beginning to worry. The rain came down with no end. It was as if the sky's heart was broken, and the tears wouldn't stop! It sent it's anger down upon the Earth in the form of hurricane Sandy. The storm crashed about wildly and wrecked homes like a crazed bull on a rampage. The terror has yet to end too! The power lines are down, and people are panicking about.

But somehow, I've made it out alright so far. Perhaps a few trees had tipped over here and there, incapable of holding its ground any longer and feeling the need to hug the Earth one last time. The streets are flooded, and the wind is chilled. But I'm alright, alive and well. Haven't left the house once as I listened to the storm beckon me away with its constant banging of my window. It's strong winds howled. My sister flinching at every sound. If Sandy had stayed any longer, I'm sure it would've driven our sanity to the point of desertion!

Luckily, the power is intact, and school is cancelled until Monday. I hadn't taken this opportunity to blog a bit more 'till now though. I've been working on homework, reading manga, and listening to the sexy voices of Kat-Tun. Oh, sweet sweet Kazuya ♥. What a joy it was  ^u^.

I've been feeling kind of aimless though. I've reached one of those points in life where I find myself lost .___. like idk what's the point to what I'm doing anymore.... No, wait, that's not the right way to explain it. I'm lost in the sense that I know my destination, but I don't know which path to take to get there. Of course, I want a future where I'll be rich and happy 8D.... but I'm told that I need high grades and good schooling. Yet, I'm also told that such things aren't necessarily needed. Then, there's my dad blabbering on about how I should learn java, and a whole bunch of other computer stuff. And I'm just sitting here wishing I could become a manga editor ;w; (I've been reading too much Bakuman lately xD).

LOL I'm not serious about the manga editor thing. Sigh. I'm thinking about becoming a psychologist or a write or an engineer. I need a passion though! To be honest, I don't have a passion. I'm not super indulged into reading, or photography, or computers, or music, or art, or anything really!

My dad constantly tells me "Learn Java, photoshop, illustrator, Ubutu, windows, programming." It's just constant computers, computers, computers. Plus, I also have like ecosystems, and Hinduism, Confucianism, and dirty dozen grammar skills just bouncing off the walls of my mind all the time.

It's come to the point that I'm so overwhelmed that I'm calm! You know what I mean? It's like if the water is hot enough, it'll feel cold. Have you ever felt that? Turned the water so hot that when you put your hand under, it'll feel cold for a few seconds. ...If you haven't, I'm not saying you should. LOL the afteraffects hurt like hell XD.

Anyways, what I'm saying here is that I don't know where to go. I've liked my schedule of sleep, school, homework, eat, sleep, and then repeat. With the next few days off, I've had time to do more. Except, all I find myself doing is homework (my social studies teacher posts homework ahead of time, so I'm doing that). I feel like I should be reading non-fiction (which I'm really weak in) or learning Java or doing something.

My life isn't just grades, but I don't know what else to do besides focus on that! That's why I feel like I'm going to fail in life because all I can do is get good grades. Grades are important, but they don't mean everything. If that's all I'm good at though, then I consider myself a failure no matter how high the grades are. TT______________TT.

I need a passion... but I can't find it. I hear that's what makes people successful. They can often turn their passion into money, and it would be fun too since they're doing what they love. But how can I live that kind of dream if I don't have a passion?? UGH ! This whole thing is just pissing me off =___=.

My dad is dead set in his belief that Java will be my forever passion or some crap like that, but I really find no interest in it at all! I think it's the fact that he pushes me so hard that I don't want to do it. I have this feeling that I'm just going to utterly fail at it, and disappoint him. Passion or not, that won't be fun! So I've settled on just not doing it at all... which isn't a very good solution either.


I dont know. I'm just frustrated, and writing it all out hasn't really helped me come to a solution. That upsets me :V

An Individual or an Ordinary?

A few days ago, my English teacher was talking about whether we felt we were an individual or a follower. I personally would say that I’m more of an “individual”. LOL. Then again, would it be follower like of me to say so? Everyone wants to be an individual, and most thinks they are. Haha! Makes you think, eh?

And with this, I wrote on my paper, “I’m both” which is like a totally legit answer =w=b. It’s all a matter of opinion ^^. I’m both because sometimes I am out of the norm. I think outside of the box (and see that this box of mine is green with electric pink stripes 8D). I laugh louder than most. I dance in the hallways (even without music). And I like to wiggle my eyebrows in every expression I make. I’m just weird OuO. Howeverrr, I’m also not weird an individual too 8D (yes, it’s true).  I mean, I wear shirts and pants like you or anyone else! I fall in love, and feel sadness, and like chocolate just the same. I try to be smart, and become rich.

So what am I? An individual or an ordinary?

Oh! Speaking of being out-of-the-ordinary, I finally took pictures of my locker! Now, you can see it in all its awesomeness 8D. I’ve gotten like several comments for it. LOL it’s actually how I’ve made a few friends too XD. It’s filled with pictures of Hitman Reborn. Fans, or just anime-fans in general, always comment on it. I totally love how most anime fans in my school are so crazy and outgoing, and just love to talk about their love with other fans 8D. It’s fun! I feel so welcomed knowing that there’s other weirdoes like me ;w;.

*click to make image larger*

The red thing you see at the top of inside my locker is used as a shelf :D. It’s supposed to be one of those fold-out shelves that you put on the bottom of your locker. However, since I have a top locker, I have like a few extra inches at the top (it’s inclined slightly at the top instead of flat). I put the shelf on the hooks that’s for my jacket. Ahahaa, I put so much stuff on my shelf. LOL. I have a pencil case filled with stuff like a staples for my stapler, white out, sharpener, paper clips, and etc. I have an extra set of clothes, and emergency book (just in case I get bored out of my mind during my free periods), and my goggles for biology class.

That ugly, barf green thing you see in there is my book bag. However, I shove that in my locker in the morning, and put the stuff I need for the first half of the day into a much cuter, smaller bag 8D. That way, I don’t have this huge heavy thing on my back.

AND GUESS WHAT? MY BEAR STICKER GOT STOLEN TT______TT. I went to my locker one day, and ka blam, it was gone! My sticker of the girl is harder to get off though, so no one has touched it yet :’D.

a lil' inspiration

New C-Pop Obession

I'm like totally in love with C-pop right now.
LOL. I can't believe I haven't explored this stuff until now. I feel so late ;A;.
It's really awesome though. I don't know why, but Chinese people just have like really sexy voices .__. //totally unbiased answer btw.

Anywayss, here's some of the people that I like so far :'D

Top Combine

LOL. I found them like awhile ago. I really like their music, but never really got very into them. To be honest, I've only ever listened to this song of theirs (and maybe like one or two others).. but I really like this one XD. I like how they mention their name, Top Combine, in some/most? of their vides. It's funny :>

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVQ0K566cxg <- the only dance I can actually do! xD

Fahrenheit

Ah hahahaa, I like this song the most from them. XDD. Their other stuff is pretty good too, I guess :3 andd, I've watched the drama Ikemen Desu. It has like two of the guys from this band in it. LOL It was the first drama that I actually officially finished (I've started so many dramas, but haven't finished them yet).

So those two were my first C-pop songs ;w;

BUUUT, the band I like the most a the moment would be Hit-5 ♥♥♥. Ohmigosh, they're so cute and like awesome TTwTT.

Hit-5

^This is the first song I heard by them. I totally found them by chance. randomly clicked a video (because I thought the beginning picture was kinda cute XD). I think I totally found my new love ♥ ;w;. (besides Kat-Tun of course x3).

G.E.M.

I'm also into G.E.M. I don't listen to female foreign singers very often (reasons are too long to explain xD), so she's pretty good to have caught my interest =w=b. She's super pretty too ;w; makes me totally jelly.

Exo-M

LOL... they're like half Chinese or something like that, so I guess this counts XDDD. I don't knoww. but I'm really loving Chinese singers right now. ahahaa xD. They're really good thoughh. Meh friend, B-queer showed it to me. And all the members are so incredibly cute >w< !!


Ah harr, but I haven't really researched into any of these people yet T^T. I totally should. and soon. LOL. I'm such a late bloomer. getting into music wayy after everyone else did xD. but I guess I'm different like that, so ha :P