I got my report card today ;____; not the best news...
-sulks in a corner-
My grade average didn't improve since the last marking period TT^TT. However, it didn't drop either. It kinda pisses me off :T because it means I stayed the same level of intelligence since the last marking period ended :< (which was like a month or two ago).
98- English
98- Social Studies
96- Math
85- Earth Science
overall avg. - 94.25
With these kinds of grades, I'm so going to die. 
I can't believe I dropped two points in math as well. Just because I didn't participate a lot this marking period. I mean, can you really blame me for being too lazy to get out of my seat, and write a stupidly obvious answer on the chalk board? Especially when it means I have to raise my hand for hours? And when I finally get picked, I have to be forced to maneuver my way around my book bag, out of my seat, and walk about 20 steps over to the board. Nah uh, no way. Too much work =3= //lazy. Sigh. orz but this math grade is unacceptable, so I gotta work harder. I'm planning on putting some effort into actually studying this spring vacation. Let's hope it'll help (even though what I'm lacking is in participation and not the actual knowledge ^ ^;; //sostudyingmakesnosense)
But yea, my overall average stayed the same since last marking period.
That sucks.
Oh no, what really sucks is my science grade. Gahh~ this is what happens when I take a high school science course in middle school =3=; makes me look like an idiot. Sigh. Hard things are hard :V //redundant. But never fear! I have been getting 90s on my science tests lately :D. Yay! LOL I've only been getting such grades because I've realized that I actually need to put effort into studying for once. Sigh...such a drag D; //shikamaru reference <3. When I saw the 85 on my report card, I was very shocked because like I said, I've been getting 90s (instead of 70s xP). However, I found out why my grade was still so low. When I was complaining to the absurdity of my 85 to Choco-chan, she explained that I didn't start actually working for my 90s until the fourth making period (the current marking period). LOL so that was a major fail. Sigh. I hope I can improve though. If I don't, I think I'll die ;A; die of absolute shame that is //shamee.
But I am determined to go into super nerd mode over this upcoming break 
eh heh...
Bet chya I'll probably get lazy, and not do it.
*No! You have to. If you don't than you'll fail, and die. <-says inner conscience
But I'm lazy D;
*Study or die. Pick one.
Fine =3=
...damn >____> I have a bastard conscience.
I'm not the most perfect person out there. It is the most obvious thing here, in my opinion. Perhaps it is even more obvious on my blog, since I do tend to show more of my idiocy here. However, the crazy people I have come to know in real life, may have a rather different opinion. My close friends know me for the idiot I am :) ..except, others, like my classmates, see me to be smart, brilliant.
I've had a few people tell me, "Oh, you get such good grades," or "You're so talented. so smart."
Honestly folks, I ain't got an ounce of talent in me. LOL I remember I asked one of the people "How am I talented?" They answered with silence. I admit I am slightly book smart. Good enough to have the majority of my grades as 90s. But that's about it. I'm not especially smart like Choco-chan or Luka-chan. Out of all my friends, I'm the slowest.
But you know what? That doesn't matter. What matters is the end result. I may be the slowest. I may be the kind of person who has to read a passage more than once or even twice to understand it. It may take me three hours longer to finish my homework than the other. But how should that matter? The point is, even though I have to try harder to get the same grade as that smart person, but at least I can leave satisfied knowing that I know at least as much as that person.
You see, what I'm trying to say is that nobody out there is perfect, despite what you may think. There might be a few out there who seem pretty darn close to being perfect. However, they weren't born that way. It takes actual work. Yes, people. You have to work to become so great. Trust me, I don't like the idea of actually putting effort into doing something as much as the next guy, but it's what you gotta do.
Recently, I've had a friend (I won't state who) that has been depressed for awhile. He feels as though he isn't smart. He feels as though he has no friends. This guy thinks there's no point to life. That he needs to be punished, and yadda yadda. Such stories has been heard, so I'll just continue with other details. My friend has self harmed himself. He tortures himself with own cruel, untrue words each and every day. He's talked about seriously committing suicide.
It's hard to understand why he does this to himself. It's hard for me to know how he feels. As his friend or even just as another human being who knows emotions and pain, it hurts to see him treat himself this.
For me, if I felt that I wasn't smart, I would study. That's the logically thing to do. But sometimes, it's hard to study if you just don't understand. It's hard. But you know, nobody exactly said life was easy.
I was once told to "Keep calm and carry on." It's normal to feel upset over a bad test grade or something of the sort, but to take it to such an extreme level as to physically punish yourself is not the best route to take. Learn from your mistakes. (In this case, just study more, dammit! xD.) But also learn how to carry on with life. One test doesn't decide everything. At my age, there's a whole life ahead of my friend. There is time to change things, to heal. There will be second chances, use them wisely. In my opinion though, my friend should stop watching so much TV, and start studying more. That is only common sense =3=b.
However, I couldn't get this idea through my friend, so I took measures into my own hands >____>... Yup, I contacted the guidance councilor xD;;. I know it may have been embarrassing for him, since talking to an adult official isn't always the most fun thing to do >___>. So I can understand why his first reaction to me after his talk with the councilor was "I hate you." But it was for his own safety. These days, even the slightest threat of suicide should be brought to attention. I can't stand all these deaths lately. They're killing my heart, and causing it to shrivel up into a disgusting raisin xP.
Anyways, my overall point is to learn that it's okay to be upset. Just don't think it's the end of the world because it's not.
I mean I'm not perfect, neither is anyone else in this world. It's okay to not be perfect. Good grades, friends, and all that is desired. But good grades and friends are something you have to earn.
In my opinion, time spent on having fun is much better spent in studying if you feel grades are that big of a deal.
Making friends isn't that hard. But if you really want to keep your friends than I suggest you not pester them all the time with the stupid questions like "you're not my friend, are you?" or "you hate me, don't you?"
Like seriously?! I hate it when people do that. It's obvious that a person is your friend if they bother to talk to you or hang out with you. Sometimes they might seem distance or something of the sort, but if you they talk to you, it's safe to assume that they're your friends. Unless they talk to you really bitchily or trash talk about you behind your back. That's when it's obvious they're not your friends.
Asking questions like "Do you hate me?" all the time, when they say no, will only cause them to hate you.
So my advice is to not ask them such stupid questions, and carry on with normal conversion. Don't feel so timid, and be confident in your friends! If you don't show that you believe in them, than they won't believe in you as a friend.
Er- this may not be what you specifically may be dealing with if you feel that you have no friends. I am just explaining a certain situation in which I have experienced.
Anyways, I hope my friend will feel better about himself through counciling. I feel good about myself for notifying an adult. A lot of people never do. A lot of people always think, "Perhaps, I can think I can help him. Maybe I can fix things on my own." However, as a friend maybe we can, but it's still better to make an adult aware of the situation. After cooling down a bit, my friend stopped saying he hated me, and actually called me a good friend. But for some reason he seemed a bit sarcastic when saying it >____>. Either way, it's okay. I may or may not have helped him, but I'm glad I at least tried to.
"Keep calm, and carry on."
:)
