Suicide...

My friend has been talking about doing suicide quite often these days....it scares me...a lot. (let's call him Kashu) It's hard for me to tell if he's joking or serious at times. I'm not sure what to do. I worry for him. He's my friend, of course I worry about him. I desperately want to help him, but what am I supposed to say or do in this kind of scenario? At first my friends and I took it as him joking. I mean people exaggerates about this kind of thing sometimes. Trying to cheer him up thinking he was just a little bit sad, we said things like "Why? Suicide is obviously bad. Oh, but I once read a quote that went something like "Suicide is like telling god, 'You can't fire me! I quite!'". We all laughed at it, even Kashu-kun. It was quite funny at the time, since the quote is rather amusing. However, Kashu-kun has brought it up a couple of times now... He's always saying things like "I just want to end my life now." or "I'm seriously thinking about suicide!" Of course he tries to say it in a joking matter, so no one gets upset or begins to fret over it, but sometimes I just...I don't know. Something is troubling him...and that troubles me. Sigh~ I swear I worry too much. I'm gonna gain wrinkles this way xP. I think I'm over reacting a bit, but...you never know what people are truly feeling.
Anyways, from what I have been told, Kashu-kun's mom has a lot of expectations for him about school. Him and I are both in the honors class, so we are expected to get good grades and study hard. From what Kashu-kun has said, his mom really expects him to get 100s on every single test (which is very difficult since we're learning things a couple grades higher than we're supposed to), and has him study 'till the night's end. We all have expectations put upon us, but Kashu-kun's mom seems scary from what I've heard ^ ^;;. Exaggerations Kashu-kun might have made, but still, I feel kind of bad for him. I've talked to my dad about this problem (yesh, I share this kind of stuff w/ my parent ^ ^;;), and he's said that Kashu-kun is getting the feeling of expectations and parental pressure mixed up (or something like that...). My dad explained that expectations are like responsibilities that you have to try and full fill (or at least I think that's what he meant). I mean parents will be parents right? It's normal for them to want their child to do well, some more than others.
Hmm...this doesn't seem like much of a reason to seriously cause you to think of suicide. But nerds have it rough ^ ^;; ...
Nonetheless, Kashu-kun should realize the consequence of suicide, and stop joking about it. Sure, some people think that suicide is the easy way out, and everything just ends there. Sigh~ but it doesn't. Think about it, your parents have like, what?, 30-ish years left? You going to let them suffer for those 30 years, just so that you didn't? Quite a cowardly thing suicide is.
Life only gets worse before it gets better. That doesn't make much sense...but trust me. You just have to wait a bit. Good things come to those who wait.
I wonder...how I can help Kashu-kun...

Bleh :V gosh, this is too depressing. It's quite different from what I usually write about. Kashu-kun has just been worrying me a bit for a few days now...
Here's a website that kind of makes fun of the topic of suicide, but it does point out some good things: the ten minute suicide guide
you should read it if you're thinking about suicide...or if you just want a good laugh :3

...i dont think i made much sense in this entry today o.o ....but this is what i know and how i feel, so whatever ;P

Bleh~ xP

Today, I had a mixture of feelings in me xP.
I am super happy that I did well on my Spanish test :D yay! ....or at least I think I did well xD lol. I usually don't study, but I pay attention in class and retain the knowledge I learn. However, I have this reputation for being a huge nerd, so everybody comes to me when they need help for studying. So I ended up helping about 3 people study for the Spanish test. Therefore, I basically studied the equivalent amount of 4 people xP. Sigh~ I need to learn how to say no xD. But I feel as though, if I don't help them study, it'd be my fault if they fail Dx and I don't want my classmates to fail! So yea~ I feel very confident in my grade ^ ^
...LOL xD imagine I get my test back and get like an 85....that'd be terrible >_>
or "mal" as they would say in Spanish xD.
hmm~ most people in my class would like memorize each and every question plus their answers, and then check to see if they're right after the test. I don't like to do that though.
1. because my memory sucks xD and it's impossible for me to do that.
and
2. i like to estimate my grade, and stay positive~ so I don't worry myself about it during the time it takes the teacher to grade the tests.

But I was also sad because on my math test I got a 98...yea some of you are probably thinking "That's good! :D" but it caused me and Lucka-chan to momentarily go into what we call the "emo corner" (no offense to real emo ppl!! it's just a phrase ^ ^;; that I shall tell my friend to change...cuz i realize how mean that is) so let's call it the "depressed corner". damn why couldn't i get a 100?!??! >_>
Anyways, where was I? Oh yea! So a 98 is no good to me and Luka-chan because we're totaly nerds; plain and simple nerds...okay maybe not simple..or plain xD. but u get the idea.
I'm a NERD and I'm PROUD!  lolol xD nerds FTW! <3~~

sigh~ I'm weird xD

...okay xD well my brain is like being super weird on me today, so I don't know what else to say to you people. So, adios! hasta manana~! (spanish for: goodbye, see you tomorrow)<-- I am trying to use Spanish in my daily life so that I don't have to study very hard before a test xD so smart~, ne? ;D

Well buenas noches~ (goodnight)


>_> I should really do these kind of language exercises to help me learn Chinese. LOL xD but I guess Spanish is easier to type because i uses same-ish letters as English. Ah! But I am learning Chinese little by little though nonetheless :3 *is in a very happy mood~ :D *

Last Day of School

Sigh~ today was my last day of school. Well, I mean like the last day of the year. I know that's kind of obvious. But some of you people out there are very technical, and say that college is the last day of school. It kind of is, but still. I mean it was my last day of school in the certain grade that I am in.
Anyways, one of my friends [...or was it two...] cried saying that they'd miss everyone.
....>.> the stupid part is that we are all going to the same class(es) next year, and we're all going to hang out together over the summer. Thus, in my opinion the crying was useless.
I'm in the what my school calls the "advanced placement" class, but we just call it the "smart people" or "nerdy" class xD. It's much shorter, and easier to say. lol.
And I did say we're all going to be put in the same class(es). However, some of the people that were in aren't going to be anymore. Some people cried that they got into the "normal" people class. For a number of them, I felt sympathy for because they worked hard. Others, not so much...>.>
For example, a girl I really don't like. (Let's call her Uni..no specific reason. I guess because it rhymes with her name xD) She was in my class(es), but now she's not. I mean she's still in the nerdy class. But in my school there's "normal" people class, "nerdy" people class, and "super nerdy" class xD. I'm placed into the "super nerdy" class because I have no life. Lmfao xD just kidding. It's because I'm Asian, and we're smart like that. Okay, seriously, just kidding again. I'm super nerdy (meaning I study study study...not really >.>) because I care about my grades. Sigh~ which is a real pain in the butt.
Anyways, back to the point. I'm glad that Uni isn't in my class anymore. She didn't like me very much. >.> neither did I, but still. xD
OH! I got my report card today. :D
I did very well. 97.75% !! ^O^ that's really good.
Sigh~ but not good enough. Luka-chan, Rin-chan, and Je.-chan got higher then me TT.TT
Luka-chan : 98.something %
Rin-chan : 98.something % (Rin got lower then Luka I think)
Je.-chan (let's pronounce it as jay-chan or jee-chan ^ ^) : 99.5% !!!!!
Can you believe that?!?!? 99%
THAT'S SO F***ING HIGH!!!! I ENVY THAT WOMAN!!!! :D
Sigh~ I should study with her xD
Plus, she's very pretty too ^ ^ so that's brains and beauty.
:) Lucky her~ nice combo
I forgot what Katrina-chan got....so don't ask xD
And Nyu-san got 95.something%
Sigh~ but Nyu-san is very smart in math, and does pretty well in English too. ^ ^ so I'm not sure what went wrong in her grade.
Anyways, after school, I went to my Je.'s house. :)
It was fun. Not only is she smart and beautiful, she's healthy!
Je. has sport-sy stuff at her house! She had volleyball and backbitten. I played it with her and Rin-chan for awhile. We also played a memory game with ordinary cards.
Whenever I'm with Je., I feel as though I have to be more sophisticated. (like sit up straight and stuff)
So she's a good influence ^ ^
The time I was at her house, we played educational games and sports. So it was very productive. Unlike at normal friend visits. Usually, we just sit around and do stuff on the computer or talk xD while gaining more calories by eating snacks. lol.

Sigh~ so even though school has ended, they still manage to torture its students with the agonizing summer homework TT.TT
I have a lot to do.
Write one essay, prepare to write two essays, read like 4~6 books (about boring stuff xD), and a math packet. I already finished the math packet because math is easy and fun ^ ^. But all the other stuff is waiting to be completed xD.