Huzzah to Crappy Anniversaries *insert sad smile and shoulder shrug

Last night was probably the worst night out of my sixteen years of living. I'm not even being dramatic. Lol I'm a pretty happy person, so I have actually never really had a bad night. I feel like if there were gods, I had just got my ass smited. It was as if the fates set me on that path, and I tried everything to think it was otherwise.

My friend was going to see her boyfriend Friday, but it ended up going pretty badly for her because she was unable to go. She was looking forward to the day for the whole week; her excitement building up and growing. Only for that excitement to collapse all around her into bitter sadness, as he caused for her to not go. She tried to talk to me about it, but I couldn't see the point of being so upset. I think I was kind of harsh even because to be honest, I found it to be irrational. I didn't understand.

Somewhat coincidentally, I was seeing my boyfriend Saturday (today) as I stated earlier it's our anniversary today. However... last night, he tells me "Hey, I didn't start my homework. Can't go tomorrow". Just thinking of it infuriates me!  Who the hell goes on a skii trip for three days, play League of Legends the next few days, and then goes to a late night church party, but has the audacity to casually be like 'oh, i can't go to see you on our anniversary because i have bad organization and planning'. Bam. I was smited. It's like karma for not treating my friend with more sincerity ;A;. I planned for two weeks and got all excited. I feel like a fool. I started to cry the moment he started telling me he couldn't go. I had this bitter feeling he wouldn't before, but I wanted to have faith he would come. I feel like with his 'bad planning' he never really planned on going anyways or at least didn't place as much importance on it. I don't know, I'm sixteen and wild. I couldn't really believe I'd stick with ONE guy for a whole year. I mean especially having a family where my aunt tells me things like "Dat a boy for the school year, dump him in the summer to have some free time, and get a new boyfriend next school year" or my dad who tells me about his many girlfriends in high school. So for me, liking a guy for a whole year straight is a pretty big deal. I think I really love this boy or as close as teenage emotions can get to love! So my excitement crashed around me into bitter sadness as well. smited.

Now I'm watching chick flicks and wandering why I'm so damn loyal to this boy.
boys are stupid. i feel stupid. this is stupid.

It was a really bad night. I kind of wanted to break up with him right then and there. I've been kind of wanting to for a few days now. Thinking my feelings aren't enough to power this relationship. My actions are strong. His are half baked; feeling like he treats as a "close" friend but not a girlfriend.
I wouldn't say we fought. We're mature enough to talk it out. He calls for a break. It was like he didn't even wanted to fight to keep me. Flat out "Let's take a break" using the excuse that he wants best for me and whatnot.

I feel that... the reason this feels tough on me is that it's kind of happened to me before... kind of... in a vague sense. Boy I like rejects me on Valentine's day. LOL. life. I don't know, I'm actually still really good friends with said boy XD. Besides that though, now as it afternoon/evening (when all this BS break stuff happened at like 2 in the morning), he tells me he doesn't want a break. what is wrong with boys? T^T. I told him I wanted a break now >:T
I don't know. Maybe a few days without each other, we can learn to appreciate each other again?
He initially said a week, I changed it to two days with the recent decision of him not wanting it. LOL. two days can work? ;w;. I don't know, I don't want a break but my woman instincts tell me it's needed :c I don't know. I just don't want him to think he can easily just run back to me Dx because then this problem will just happen again.

I feel like I will either get bitter or my "cool" won't last and just love him more x___x;;.

-why do i post these personal things-

Idiot Boy

Arghh. I feel like punching something or someone! >:(

Today was filled with a mix of good and bad things. The bad things primarily affecting me right now D; ergg. I went to my summer classes at Bronx Science (my going-to-be high school). It started out fine. First period was music. It was a boring class though >___>. I'm sorry, but when you put a sleepy teen together with soothing music, you're obviously going to get a snoozing me. Har, anyways, that's not the point of the story at the moment xD.

It all started in health class o^o. Grr, the very thought of the memory makes me upset D;
My health teacher is like also the head of the social studies department, so he has a lot of stuff to handle sometimes. Thus, he often shoves us a handout, and leaves the room to do his business or whatever it is he does. You can already predict how things could go wrong, huh? A room filled with teens who just wanna have fun, and no teacher in sight. It's chaos =___=". I honestly didn't think that students from Bronx Science would be such goof offs D; totally upsetting.
Anyways, I'm used to that. Rowdy teens is expected. What ticked me off today was a particular boy :V. He is a rather rude boy if you ask me xP.
First offense:
The handouts were being passed out, and he had happened to pass back the handout without taking one for himself. Idiot =__=. He looked around, and I assumed he was going to take one of the extras (there's always extras for some reason :P). Thus, I turned to reach back for one for him. Before I completely turned around, I saw that bastard grab my paper. He looked at me. I looked at him. I had a million words to say to that boy (many of which were not nice or very "ladylike"). However, nothing came out of my mouth. Nothing! I can't believe that. I'm totally the type to back-sass anyone who pisses me off. I don't know what happened to me today >__<. I suppose I've just been too quiet in high school for too long. I must have forgotten how to talk to others TT__TT. To be honest, I just kinda wanted to lay low, and not get into anything xP. I just wanted a peaceful, invisible existence in high school ;A;. Why can't I get that? Anyways, since I've forgotten to communicate, I certainly must have lost my ability to bash a person too TT___TT. Oh, how I miss that skill of mine.
Second offense:
Everyone was being loud as hell during the teacher's absence. They were louder than my brothers have ever been; which I find incredibly because two demonic little boys put together can make really loud sounds! Nevertheless, I endured the chaos, and tried to continue my work though. It was hard blocking out the sounds. I couldn't even hear myself think! I was boiling inside. Every inch of me wanted to just tell everyone to shut up (well, preferably, I wanted to insert more harsher words there, but it would just be too rude to do so xD;;). However, during this chaos, a girl sitting next to me was saying to the guy who pissed me off "You should follow Emiko's example. Look how she's reading and highlighting her work. She's way better than you." I was surprised she knew my name, surprised by the semi-compliment (if you can even call it that :P), and surprised that she decided to pick on me instead of someone who wanted to be part of the "fun" (or whatever they thought it was =____=). Guess what the guy did? I thought he was going to just laugh and poke fun at her or me or himself. But no. I was wrong (how many times is that now? a million? billion? trillion? xPP). Instead, he snatched my paper right out of my hands. He held it up in the air, holding it only by his fingertips as if it was some foreign object. He looked at me. I looked at him. It was very hard not to shoot death glares at him. I wanted to spew venomous words about how rude and idiotic he was. how insolent and obnoxious he was acting. how childish and annoying he was being. No. To be honest, I didn't want to lecture him or insult him. I just wanted to punch his guts out, and leave him bleeding on the floor =___________=. Sorry, teen angst/pent up frustration going on inside of meh right now. If I sound scary....well, I am scary :V no excuse there.
It took everything I had to ask for it back without sounding upset, angry, or mean. "May I have it back, please," was what I said. "Please" might of came out a little bitchy-sounding, but what can you expect? xP.  The girl who caused him to want to take my paper was like "You don't have to say please. Just punch him. Be rude to him. He deserves it." Of course he deserves no polite-ness whatsoever, but I didn't want to satisfy the bastard with a reaction. I just started him down until he gave it back to me :V.

However, now that I think back to it, I should've done something more. Punching him is out of the choice. However, I could have told him to go get his own handout himself. Or I could've told him that he should get his pussy ass in gear, and work on his own damn paper. Or I could have said to him some weird philosophical shit that I got stored up somewhere in my hippopotamus hippocampus about how idiots don't make it out on top in the end.

oh, but as the saying goes~
Could've.
Would've.
Should've.
Didn't. Didn't. Didn't.

No point in dwelling over what I should have done.

Instead, if ever he were to bother me again... well, let's just say, he'll never have kids. ever. I'll make sure it won't happen it again.