Huzzah to Crappy Anniversaries *insert sad smile and shoulder shrug

Last night was probably the worst night out of my sixteen years of living. I'm not even being dramatic. Lol I'm a pretty happy person, so I have actually never really had a bad night. I feel like if there were gods, I had just got my ass smited. It was as if the fates set me on that path, and I tried everything to think it was otherwise.

My friend was going to see her boyfriend Friday, but it ended up going pretty badly for her because she was unable to go. She was looking forward to the day for the whole week; her excitement building up and growing. Only for that excitement to collapse all around her into bitter sadness, as he caused for her to not go. She tried to talk to me about it, but I couldn't see the point of being so upset. I think I was kind of harsh even because to be honest, I found it to be irrational. I didn't understand.

Somewhat coincidentally, I was seeing my boyfriend Saturday (today) as I stated earlier it's our anniversary today. However... last night, he tells me "Hey, I didn't start my homework. Can't go tomorrow". Just thinking of it infuriates me!  Who the hell goes on a skii trip for three days, play League of Legends the next few days, and then goes to a late night church party, but has the audacity to casually be like 'oh, i can't go to see you on our anniversary because i have bad organization and planning'. Bam. I was smited. It's like karma for not treating my friend with more sincerity ;A;. I planned for two weeks and got all excited. I feel like a fool. I started to cry the moment he started telling me he couldn't go. I had this bitter feeling he wouldn't before, but I wanted to have faith he would come. I feel like with his 'bad planning' he never really planned on going anyways or at least didn't place as much importance on it. I don't know, I'm sixteen and wild. I couldn't really believe I'd stick with ONE guy for a whole year. I mean especially having a family where my aunt tells me things like "Dat a boy for the school year, dump him in the summer to have some free time, and get a new boyfriend next school year" or my dad who tells me about his many girlfriends in high school. So for me, liking a guy for a whole year straight is a pretty big deal. I think I really love this boy or as close as teenage emotions can get to love! So my excitement crashed around me into bitter sadness as well. smited.

Now I'm watching chick flicks and wandering why I'm so damn loyal to this boy.
boys are stupid. i feel stupid. this is stupid.

It was a really bad night. I kind of wanted to break up with him right then and there. I've been kind of wanting to for a few days now. Thinking my feelings aren't enough to power this relationship. My actions are strong. His are half baked; feeling like he treats as a "close" friend but not a girlfriend.
I wouldn't say we fought. We're mature enough to talk it out. He calls for a break. It was like he didn't even wanted to fight to keep me. Flat out "Let's take a break" using the excuse that he wants best for me and whatnot.

I feel that... the reason this feels tough on me is that it's kind of happened to me before... kind of... in a vague sense. Boy I like rejects me on Valentine's day. LOL. life. I don't know, I'm actually still really good friends with said boy XD. Besides that though, now as it afternoon/evening (when all this BS break stuff happened at like 2 in the morning), he tells me he doesn't want a break. what is wrong with boys? T^T. I told him I wanted a break now >:T
I don't know. Maybe a few days without each other, we can learn to appreciate each other again?
He initially said a week, I changed it to two days with the recent decision of him not wanting it. LOL. two days can work? ;w;. I don't know, I don't want a break but my woman instincts tell me it's needed :c I don't know. I just don't want him to think he can easily just run back to me Dx because then this problem will just happen again.

I feel like I will either get bitter or my "cool" won't last and just love him more x___x;;.

-why do i post these personal things-

Easy to Win. Hard to Keep.

My heart will instantly swoon for any guy for any one of the reasons below:

1. Laughs at my jokes.
2. Compliments me in anything (appearance, wits, ability, etc.)
3. Pretends that he cares when I ramble on (about things like my love for bakery goods).
4. Has nice, warm, big hugs!
5. Can smolder like Flynn Rider from Tangled. XD LOL.
6. Makes me laugh three times in one sentence.
7. Dresses stylishly. B-)
8. Brings me into daring, spontaneous situations (that doesn't kill me and are fun).
9. Spams corny lines at me.
10. Attempts to catch fuzzies on the street. ♥
11. Loves children.
12. Can match my witty, sassy remarks. But still lets me win.
13. Has gorgeous hair ;w;
14. Has green eyes
15. Is positive and outgoing :D

LOL. Nairb has like 10 of the 15 :) ....unsure about number 5. so its 10 or 11. XD. But that's more than 60%, so that's why he's my boyfriend~. (66%, but shhh). hehee.

Buuut, although I fall in love easily, it's really super duper difficult for me to stay in love with someone. particularly boys. LOL I can lovee any guurl forevs. Only reason why I'd stop is if she backstabbed me or took my last cookie. It's hard for me to continuously love a guy for a long time is because one little thing can make me wanna just drop them like nothing. It could be because I got bored~ or something about them totally went against my principles or I found an annoying trait I just can't stand. I can fall for you easy, and I can stand back up easy.

Keeping Emiko goes as follows:

1. Surprise me. Be spontaneous. Become too predictable, and it's an O-U-T.
2. Keep my confidence level up. LOL Make me feel like shit, and I'm out the door.
3. Don't be too much smarter than me. Don't be too much dumber than me.
4. Work like you have to win me over everyday. LOL I like feeling special. xD
5. Be as loyal as I am to you :O
6. Always compete to love me more than I do you.
7. Pay attention. Listen. Remember what I tell you. I feel like I'm talking to bricks if you forget.
8. Talk to me when I'm mad. Talk to me when you think I might be mad (because I probably am).

I'm pretty sure there's more, but I can't think of any.

I've only had 2 (official) relationships so far. Second one is going pretty awesome. Dun wanna say how many Nairb has on the "ways to keep me" list, but he's doing a great job at it. I've learned a few rules along the way though.

•  Cut off date is two months. Plenty of time to get to know someone. Feeling half-assed at two months? Then it's not worth my time.
• Wait at least two weeks before kissing the guy :o because kissing anywhere in between that time, the relationship is totally going to be physical base. I personally want something meaningful. a mix of passion and compassion.
• If he loves saying your name all the time, whenever he can, then he's gonna be special.

This is all in my opinion, of course.
I still don't know much because not many of my friends have experienced relationships. It's all information gathered from my own experience. lol. disclaimer.

It's All About the Mush Today

OH MI GOOODNESS.
TODAY. AUGUST 22, 2013. MARKS SIX MONTHS OF DATING NAIRB. ;w;

like woahh. I'm actually quite proud of myself since I didn't think I was the type to settle down for so long XD. hehe.

I haven't talked much about our relationship lately (which is surprising since I totally kiss-and-tell), but that's because I have Rinny to talk it out with so my blog got outta the loop XD. For six months though, I got to share why I love this boy so much!

It'd be hard to put why I love him in a few words or paragraphs. I love basically almost everything about him! Hehe. "Almost" because I must admit, he does have his flaws. Like he tends to ramble a lot, in ways where he says all the wrong things and sometimes upsets me. he likes to sing in the middle of our conversations. and Nairb falls asleep way too soon during late night conversations.

But as these flaws do frustrate me at times, I can see the brighter side of it as well.
He rambles because he's nervous around me. constantly trying. adorable. great when he actually finds the right words.
He's a really great singer. LOL. I can always continue what I was saying after the entertainment xD. because his voice is so soft and sweet and MUCH better than mine LOL.
And google tells me that people fall asleep in mid conversation in late night talks because they feel so comforted by you that they fall asleep XD. hahaaa.

Nah. that was supposed to sound adoring and everything. but it didn't come off that way, huh?

Anyways, all jokes and flaws aside, there are sosoo many reasons why this relationship has last this long and continues to strive. through thick and thin and all the mess. Because when I'm with him it's like the world disappears. All I want is to hear him talk to me, have his arms around me, and see his smile. We could be sitting in the boys clothing department in Target, and still make it the most romantic place in the world XD. It's all about the feeels.

OH! besides the feels, there's the fact that he's very stubborn. persistent. and tries hard. at everything. I love that about him. I could be upset about something and not willing to share, but he'll get it out of me if it's the last thing he does. lol. Nairb is the kind of guy who will push himself to carry heavy me bridal style down the street and to the movie theaters despite it being quite the rigorous workout. hahaa XD. I think that's amazing. He laughs at all my jokes, challenges my thoughts, and thinks of me as his one and only. Doesn't get overly jealous, but jealous enough. Wants nothing but my happiness, and puts my feelings first (most of the time. all of the time?). The boy even stops in the middle of walking to catch a fuzzy (those little cotton stuff that floats in the air)! It's all the little things. and all the big things. That added up, makes for the most amazing guy ever. Nairb.

If you saw Nairb and I, you'd instantly see how we're a good couple. Haha. And I'm not just saying that from opinion. I've been told so. xD
I can sit here all day naming all the reasons why I've come to love Nairb. all the little moments we've shared that'd make you go "aww" and have your hearts feeling all hopeful and loving.
But I have to go play Tetris with my family. LOL.

A Penny for My Thoughts

 

 Haha, so today is Ronny and I's one week anniversary. We didn't celebrate or do anything special. According to Ronny everyday is our anniversary x3. In all honesty, one week is really nothing to celebrate about. It's more of one month or year anniversaries that are nice because I think that is a long enough time to actual celebrate about xD.

Hmm... but I suppose even after one week, I still have thoughts about how I feel and whatnot~. Yea, I don't talk about my feelings very often, do I? xD. //feeding the fans. LOL <3.

note: was just thinking of a couple name for us. LOL. and what I came up with was Pinmi. Sounds like "pin me". LMAO. that's dirty xD. ("Pin" from his nickname of Pineapple. "Mi" from Emiko.) Haha, but if you wanna use Ronny. Than it'd be Ronko. LMAO let's conclude with saying we just don't have good names to combine

Anyways~, we've been dating for an official one week as of now :3. And I hope we continue to date. (this is good sign xD //derp).

Ronny is very good to me though~. All those who keep telling me that they'll kill him if he hurts me doesn't have to worry xD. I mean he really tries his best to make me happy :). And he's willing to do anything for me. That's just like incredible. I'm like crazy as hell, and he has the will to go along with it all. You know how incredible that is?! I mean to find someone who supports whatever I want to do despite how insane it sounds. I love how he cares so much for me too. Always worrying about me, and making sure I'm okay. I love knowing that he'll always be there for me.

I mean my friends are always there for me too, and I rant to them about every lil' issue I have all the time. My friends are just always there to catch me, you know? But with Ronny it's a bit of a different feeling... he's always there for me like my friends are. However, when I'm with Ronny I can just lean on his shoulder and actually think. I don't have to say a word or explain a single thing. He'll just let me be, and hold my hand for reassurance. He's surprisingly comforting xD. Ronny makes me happy :). He's so incredibly sweet too! Always telling me the nicest things... even when I know it's so totally bullsh*t. //it's the thought of trying that counts :'D. LOL.

When we're together though, we don't talk much. Ronny and I mostly talk online xD. (LOL IM-ing ftw <3). At least we have some form of communication though :'D. The only time I really ever remember us talking an actual lengthy conversation is when we're by ourselves. Otherwise, I'm always interrupted by someone ._____. like... I really think there's such a thing as too many friends. LOL. I remember someone telling me that once. It's sometimes hard to talk to me because I'm always like surrounded by people. Dunno why, but I realized I am xD. But that's okay~, friends are good ^___^. And they're just curious. I mean, I bug couples all the time too C: tee hee~.  Anyways, I'm quite fine with how things are though. By the way I described it, you'd think we'd have bad communication... but we don't xD. LOL. I think we understand each other pretty well ^__^b. We're very open with each other :)

I'm a bad girlfriend though ^ ^;;. I like totally enslave him all the time. And tease about his "fluffy"-ness (I shouldn't be talking too! because I'm heavier than him D; like wtfuu~). Even though he's valedictorian, I still call him stupid and a dumbass ^ ^;. Also, I feel like I'm hogging him away from his friends ;A;. He's always around me, and like doesn't get to spend time with his friends because of that D: which must suck for his friends and him. Like ai ya~. I should be better towards him Dx. Hopefully, I'm not all bad though ;A; ?  I don't know for sure though~. I mean it's not like I can give a honest opinion about myself because I can't look at myself from another person's point of view. Sigh~ .___.

All in all though, things are going well though :) or at least, I believe/hope they are xD;;. Everyone says we make a cute couple; which makes me happy ^__^. At first, I thought everyone would reject us as a couple ^ ^;;. Just thought people would~. (people have this strange tendency to not be able to share me xD;;). I admit it is kind of embarrassing when someone asks about us... but it's a nice kind of embarrass-feeling. It makes me feel happy that I can say yes whenever someones asks if he's mine <3.

And since Ronny reads my blog (like the total creep he is xD), I'll just leave this picture for him:

found out: http://alchemyotaku17.deviantart.com/art/This-is-Love-148816474

ps. yea, we both have a thing for rainbows xD.
and like damn, even though it rained today, I forgot to look out the window for the rainbows ;A;.

Happy one week anniversary, good lookin' <3 ;D