Erm...okay, well if you've read my previous blog entry, then you would have known that K. confessed his feelings to me. However, I had to semi-reject because I'm not allowed to date. I did also confess my feelings as well, in the email though. And after I awaited his reply afterwards.
He sent his reply, saying that he was okay with not dating me, and that just being able to talk with me would be fine. Er...>.> but that left us at a really odd position, in my opinion. So after reading the contents of his email, I started thinking, "What now?" Like what does two people who like each other, but incapable of being with each other do?
Today, I asked K. what I was to him in order to confirm some things, and his answer to me was, "More then a friend." Now if you look at that positively, that's a big achievement, since I've been sorta obsessing over this guy for awhile now. But I don't know if it's enough for me ^ ^;;. I mean I was kind of hoping for more, but for someone who can't date, you can't ask for much. Beggars can't be choosers, I guess. Right now, we're just two people who like to talk with each other at the moment. I guess you could say I'm kind of happy about these events. I mean the guy I like actually likes me back. I'm able to have more fluent talk with him too. But I'm a little disappointed at the same time. It's like, is that all I get? After spending endless amount of efforts of getting to know him better. Plus, there's all that time I spent after school just to be with him. Sigh~ I thought this world was built on equal trade (xxxholic reference xD). I did that for myself, and I actually didn't expect anything in return. I'm just happy I got this far :). Truthfully, I have no idea what's going to happen between us in the future. >.> I hate it when I can't predict things (remember, I'm a woman who's very cautious and likes being able to accurately predict things). Sigh~ so I guess all I can do is cross my fingers and hope for the best.
Showing posts with label K.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label K.. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
A Trip to Rin-chan's House~
Today, I went to go and visit my lovely friend, Rin-chan. It was more of a homework visit. Rin-chan doesn't have the books that we need to finish the English homework. Thus, I went over to her house so we could work on it together. ^ ^;; except I only had half of the books we needed, and Rin-chan thought it was very stupid of me to not have all of the books. But it's not my fault xD. I thought she said we only needed two certain books, and I did. Good thing is that we were able to finish the homework anyways :D. With a little help from Nyu-san, and the internet ^ ^;;. It was so much fun going to Rin-chan's house though. I love going there because I get yummy free food ^w^. Yea, I'm a freeloader~ ;D. Lolz, but besides the free food, I liked going there because it's fun hanging out with Rin-chan. ^ ^ We have like telepathic powers, and understand what one another means when we say stupid stuff, so there's no need for annoying explanation. Anyways, we had lots of laughter and snacking involved in my visit ^ ^. When we called Nu-san, we put her on speaker phone. It was funny because she sounded like a guy, and we couldn't understand a single word she said xD. I don't like calling Nyu-san for homework help because she always gives me weird and vague answers.
For example:
I'll ask her "What is the theme of blank story?" <--story not really called "blank" xD
She'll respond as "Poverty."
I'll be like "How was poverty related?"
Nyu-san would then reply "It just is."
Which in return makes me ask "...but how?"
"They had no money." She'll then say.
And I'll be like " >.O but what does that have to do with the theme/life lesson of the story?"
Eventually, Nyu-san would get annoyed at my "stupid" questions, and redirect me to someone else who she believes could help me. Nyu-san is a very weird lady, who likes to beat around the bush. Anyways, since Nyu-san is so bad at helping with homework, me and Rin-chan went onto the incredibly helpful internet for answers :D. But unfortunately all the websites that tell you answers like "what is the conflict" or "what is the theme" for books cost money in order for you to see the complete answers. TT~TT so we had make stuff up from vague text online. I mean we're supposed to be doing this ourselves, but we're lazy :P. Rofl xD jk. I mean we can't come up with the answers ourselves very easily (because the book we had to read was stupid and difficult). However, with the help of the vague websites and the work of two awesome minds, we were able to come up with the answers. So we actually finished some work like we were supposed to :D. But mostly because I was able to keep us on track...>.> well it was more of a group effort xD. We had to remind each other continuously. Ah ha xD it was fun goofing off with her though. I've been cooped up in my house for so long that I forgot what it was like to socialize with other people other then my family ^ ^;;. We laughed at all sorts of things like trains, teddy bears, hiding knives in layers of fat, and etc.
 |
| Read from right to left like in manga |
[for those of you who cannot read the text in the speech bubble clearly, it says
Exia-Near: *looks at Hello Kitty* And I thought I was the big one... O_O
Hello Kitty: *angry* Excuse me?! >:(
~end of conversation~]
Um..^ ^;; idk if you can understand the joke but I shall explain.
Exia in the anime he comes from is this really huge robot thing, so since Hello Kitty is "larger" then him, he says that thought aloud. And Hello Kitty is offended because she feels like he's calling her fat.
So at 5:23 p.m. I left for home, and started walking with the feeling of a happy afternoon left in the air. (that sentence made no sense, but just go with it xD). When halfway home (I live a block away from Rin-chan), my phone started ringing -truthfully I was hoping it was K.- it was Rin-chan. I picked up my phone and said the normal greeting of "Hello?" And Rin-chan was going on about how I forgot my pencils. So I turned around to go back to her house. However, I heard a door open and close nearby, and turned to the noise out of habit. To my surprise it was a very cute boy walking out of his house ^ ^~. I watched him walk off to some unknown land, while Rin-chan went on about something (I kind of unconsciously tuned her out). But sigh~ my heart is already taken by K. ;) ~ ..Which reminds me, I gotta go check my inbox to see if he replied to my email. Hm..I'll do that later. Ah > < sorry for getting off topic. xD Anyways, after staring at the cute boy walk away, I meet up with Rin-chan at the front of her apartment building. When I got there she handed me my pencils. And, shockingly she only handed me one pencil. . . I was like: -____- <-- yea I had that expression on xD. It was just one little pencil, and she called me for that xD. Oh, well. It's the thought that counts, right? ^ ^. Lolz, xD I told her about the cute boy, and we joke about the idea of me going out with him and the idea of a "boy next door" kind of thing. But the guy looked slightly older then me by like 2~3 years xD. Which isn't much, but still. And I feel kind of bad now ^ ^;;. I have this feeling that I'm like cheating on K. for looking at other guys. . . hm. . .but it's not like I'm really serious about the person, so it's okay right? Gah! >~< Idk. Oh well. Nothing is gonna happen because of it, so whatever.
^ ^ So to conclude this entry, I'll say.... SEE YA LATERS!! :D ~ (or is it "blog to ya laters"? xD)
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
OMG!!!!
HOLY COW!!! YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED!!! :D
xD okay, it's not that exciting to the point where I have to use capitals. But capital letters are fun. lolz xD.
Guess what? Guess what? Guess what?!!
Okay, so P. has been telling me that I should call K. because she thinks he "loves" me and thinks that we're a "perfect" match. ^ ^;; so she somehow convinced me into wanting to call K. as well. (I was very hesitant to the idea). Rin-chan also supported the idea of me calling K. However, when it came to the actual point of calling him, I chickened out, and couldn't do it TT~TT. I dialed the number, but couldn't press the talk button!! So to compensate, I sent him an email instead xD. Rin-chan says I'm kind of lame to not be able to call him. She even gave me a long pep talk ^ ^;; and P. says that I should still call him xD.
Okay, so my email to him consisted of lots of random fail stuff. Mostly about how his summer was and how was his summer tutoring school, and etc.
And from my experience (which is very small in amount) of emailing with guys (2 to be exact xD), the take forever to reply back (like a few days or a week). So I didn't expect K. to reply any time soon. Thus, making me take my time in emotionally preparing myself for his reply. xD
That's why it was to my surprise seeing K.'s reply in my inbox around 9:00 p.m. :D I spent like the first 20 minutes spazzing and freaking out about the email before I even read what it said xD. Then I actually tried to calm myself down, which took awhile because I couldn't stop smiling from ear to ear and jumping around the place like a hyper little child on Christmas day ^ ^. So after all the excited prancing, I finally actually read the email. Which I shall summarize the important details of. (I cannot copy&paste it into the blog because if K. where to ever find my blog through unknown circumstances I do not want him to know this is my blog xD)
List of important details in email:
1. He said he missed me ^///////^ !! (I felt my cheeks heat up when I read that part. .. ew that sounds so weird "heat up" xD but I think you can understand what I mean by that).
2. K. states that he's currently working out xD (would a guy tell you that just because you asked him about his summer or because he's trying to impress you? or perhaps the third option of making you picture funny things that make you spazz all over the place? xD)
3. He tells me about how his school has "hot" girls. (My friends swear he's trying to make me jealous ^ ^;;. I'm not sure, but if he is it's working xD)
4. ^ ^ ~ K. tells me about how he's been waiting for me to email him since the day he gave me his email ^////^
After I finished giggling like a love blind idiot, I called Rin-chan (because she's the only person I know who allows me to call her at 9:30 p.m. xD and she gives out good advice :3) She had just witnessed the traumatic event of her dad's foot bleeding. (or at least that's what I think she said. It was hard to hear her over the phone ^ ^;;). Rin-chan doesn't like blood or scary things, so because of this event she wasn't to hyped up about the news of my email. But she was very happy for me. She was trying to convince me that K. likes me, but I'm not too sure about that. I mean she's basing her opinion on very reasonable things like the "I miss you" thing from the email and other events that has happened between me and K. However, I'm just not too sure. I mean everything is just circumstantial; there's no definite evidence of the fact that he likes me. And besides, him having the same feelings for me as I do him is just too good to be true right? ^ ^;;
I mean, I'm not totally oblivious to the fact that K. might have the same feelings for me, but I guess I just won't admit it until I get a confession from him xD. Which is probably asking for too much.
I have no idea what to reply to him about in the email though >~< . Rin-chan says that I should think about it tonight, and write the email tomorrow. She's afraid that I might be so hyper and excessively happy that I will somehow accidently say something that will resemble a confession to him without realizing it. ^ ^;; which will probably happen with me in the state that I am in. (a very happy giggly state that is).
this email might seem totally lame, but it's a "big" step for me ^ ^;;. I'm going from no contact whatsoever to emailing him. And that's just one step away from being okay with calling him every now and then. I guess I just like to take baby steps ^ ^. Anything, more might kill me xD. (I'm a very cautious person, who takes occasional risks)
ps. lolz I see that I sometimes use the word "spazz" a lot. And the meaning of how I use it could be translated and/or thought up of in many different ways that may or may not be right. So I shall give you a definition I found on urbandictionary.com that I found to be somewhat close to the meaning of how I use the word.
spazz:
A person, either male or female, who can be very over-dramatic, moody, weird, quirky, flamboyant, annoying, suggestive, passionate, passive-aggressive, and/or socially retarded (awkward). Someone who says very disturbing, mind-boggling, and/or hilariously "random" things (often at the most inappropriate times). Someone who is very eccentric or alternative in their manner of being emotionally and/or physically expressive.
xD okay, it's not that exciting to the point where I have to use capitals. But capital letters are fun. lolz xD.
Guess what? Guess what? Guess what?!!
Okay, so P. has been telling me that I should call K. because she thinks he "loves" me and thinks that we're a "perfect" match. ^ ^;; so she somehow convinced me into wanting to call K. as well. (I was very hesitant to the idea). Rin-chan also supported the idea of me calling K. However, when it came to the actual point of calling him, I chickened out, and couldn't do it TT~TT. I dialed the number, but couldn't press the talk button!! So to compensate, I sent him an email instead xD. Rin-chan says I'm kind of lame to not be able to call him. She even gave me a long pep talk ^ ^;; and P. says that I should still call him xD.
Okay, so my email to him consisted of lots of random fail stuff. Mostly about how his summer was and how was his summer tutoring school, and etc.
And from my experience (which is very small in amount) of emailing with guys (2 to be exact xD), the take forever to reply back (like a few days or a week). So I didn't expect K. to reply any time soon. Thus, making me take my time in emotionally preparing myself for his reply. xD
That's why it was to my surprise seeing K.'s reply in my inbox around 9:00 p.m. :D I spent like the first 20 minutes spazzing and freaking out about the email before I even read what it said xD. Then I actually tried to calm myself down, which took awhile because I couldn't stop smiling from ear to ear and jumping around the place like a hyper little child on Christmas day ^ ^. So after all the excited prancing, I finally actually read the email. Which I shall summarize the important details of. (I cannot copy&paste it into the blog because if K. where to ever find my blog through unknown circumstances I do not want him to know this is my blog xD)
List of important details in email:
1. He said he missed me ^///////^ !! (I felt my cheeks heat up when I read that part. .. ew that sounds so weird "heat up" xD but I think you can understand what I mean by that).
2. K. states that he's currently working out xD (would a guy tell you that just because you asked him about his summer or because he's trying to impress you? or perhaps the third option of making you picture funny things that make you spazz all over the place? xD)
3. He tells me about how his school has "hot" girls. (My friends swear he's trying to make me jealous ^ ^;;. I'm not sure, but if he is it's working xD)
4. ^ ^ ~ K. tells me about how he's been waiting for me to email him since the day he gave me his email ^////^
After I finished giggling like a love blind idiot, I called Rin-chan (because she's the only person I know who allows me to call her at 9:30 p.m. xD and she gives out good advice :3) She had just witnessed the traumatic event of her dad's foot bleeding. (or at least that's what I think she said. It was hard to hear her over the phone ^ ^;;). Rin-chan doesn't like blood or scary things, so because of this event she wasn't to hyped up about the news of my email. But she was very happy for me. She was trying to convince me that K. likes me, but I'm not too sure about that. I mean she's basing her opinion on very reasonable things like the "I miss you" thing from the email and other events that has happened between me and K. However, I'm just not too sure. I mean everything is just circumstantial; there's no definite evidence of the fact that he likes me. And besides, him having the same feelings for me as I do him is just too good to be true right? ^ ^;;
I mean, I'm not totally oblivious to the fact that K. might have the same feelings for me, but I guess I just won't admit it until I get a confession from him xD. Which is probably asking for too much.
I have no idea what to reply to him about in the email though >~< . Rin-chan says that I should think about it tonight, and write the email tomorrow. She's afraid that I might be so hyper and excessively happy that I will somehow accidently say something that will resemble a confession to him without realizing it. ^ ^;; which will probably happen with me in the state that I am in. (a very happy giggly state that is).
this email might seem totally lame, but it's a "big" step for me ^ ^;;. I'm going from no contact whatsoever to emailing him. And that's just one step away from being okay with calling him every now and then. I guess I just like to take baby steps ^ ^. Anything, more might kill me xD. (I'm a very cautious person, who takes occasional risks)
ps. lolz I see that I sometimes use the word "spazz" a lot. And the meaning of how I use it could be translated and/or thought up of in many different ways that may or may not be right. So I shall give you a definition I found on urbandictionary.com that I found to be somewhat close to the meaning of how I use the word.
spazz:
A person, either male or female, who can be very over-dramatic, moody, weird, quirky, flamboyant, annoying, suggestive, passionate, passive-aggressive, and/or socially retarded (awkward). Someone who says very disturbing, mind-boggling, and/or hilariously "random" things (often at the most inappropriate times). Someone who is very eccentric or alternative in their manner of being emotionally and/or physically expressive.
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