i'm just really annoyed right now

The rain had finally stopped. For awhile there, I was beginning to worry. The rain came down with no end. It was as if the sky's heart was broken, and the tears wouldn't stop! It sent it's anger down upon the Earth in the form of hurricane Sandy. The storm crashed about wildly and wrecked homes like a crazed bull on a rampage. The terror has yet to end too! The power lines are down, and people are panicking about.

But somehow, I've made it out alright so far. Perhaps a few trees had tipped over here and there, incapable of holding its ground any longer and feeling the need to hug the Earth one last time. The streets are flooded, and the wind is chilled. But I'm alright, alive and well. Haven't left the house once as I listened to the storm beckon me away with its constant banging of my window. It's strong winds howled. My sister flinching at every sound. If Sandy had stayed any longer, I'm sure it would've driven our sanity to the point of desertion!

Luckily, the power is intact, and school is cancelled until Monday. I hadn't taken this opportunity to blog a bit more 'till now though. I've been working on homework, reading manga, and listening to the sexy voices of Kat-Tun. Oh, sweet sweet Kazuya ♥. What a joy it was  ^u^.

I've been feeling kind of aimless though. I've reached one of those points in life where I find myself lost .___. like idk what's the point to what I'm doing anymore.... No, wait, that's not the right way to explain it. I'm lost in the sense that I know my destination, but I don't know which path to take to get there. Of course, I want a future where I'll be rich and happy 8D.... but I'm told that I need high grades and good schooling. Yet, I'm also told that such things aren't necessarily needed. Then, there's my dad blabbering on about how I should learn java, and a whole bunch of other computer stuff. And I'm just sitting here wishing I could become a manga editor ;w; (I've been reading too much Bakuman lately xD).

LOL I'm not serious about the manga editor thing. Sigh. I'm thinking about becoming a psychologist or a write or an engineer. I need a passion though! To be honest, I don't have a passion. I'm not super indulged into reading, or photography, or computers, or music, or art, or anything really!

My dad constantly tells me "Learn Java, photoshop, illustrator, Ubutu, windows, programming." It's just constant computers, computers, computers. Plus, I also have like ecosystems, and Hinduism, Confucianism, and dirty dozen grammar skills just bouncing off the walls of my mind all the time.

It's come to the point that I'm so overwhelmed that I'm calm! You know what I mean? It's like if the water is hot enough, it'll feel cold. Have you ever felt that? Turned the water so hot that when you put your hand under, it'll feel cold for a few seconds. ...If you haven't, I'm not saying you should. LOL the afteraffects hurt like hell XD.

Anyways, what I'm saying here is that I don't know where to go. I've liked my schedule of sleep, school, homework, eat, sleep, and then repeat. With the next few days off, I've had time to do more. Except, all I find myself doing is homework (my social studies teacher posts homework ahead of time, so I'm doing that). I feel like I should be reading non-fiction (which I'm really weak in) or learning Java or doing something.

My life isn't just grades, but I don't know what else to do besides focus on that! That's why I feel like I'm going to fail in life because all I can do is get good grades. Grades are important, but they don't mean everything. If that's all I'm good at though, then I consider myself a failure no matter how high the grades are. TT______________TT.

I need a passion... but I can't find it. I hear that's what makes people successful. They can often turn their passion into money, and it would be fun too since they're doing what they love. But how can I live that kind of dream if I don't have a passion?? UGH ! This whole thing is just pissing me off =___=.

My dad is dead set in his belief that Java will be my forever passion or some crap like that, but I really find no interest in it at all! I think it's the fact that he pushes me so hard that I don't want to do it. I have this feeling that I'm just going to utterly fail at it, and disappoint him. Passion or not, that won't be fun! So I've settled on just not doing it at all... which isn't a very good solution either.


I dont know. I'm just frustrated, and writing it all out hasn't really helped me come to a solution. That upsets me :V

An Individual or an Ordinary?

A few days ago, my English teacher was talking about whether we felt we were an individual or a follower. I personally would say that I’m more of an “individual”. LOL. Then again, would it be follower like of me to say so? Everyone wants to be an individual, and most thinks they are. Haha! Makes you think, eh?

And with this, I wrote on my paper, “I’m both” which is like a totally legit answer =w=b. It’s all a matter of opinion ^^. I’m both because sometimes I am out of the norm. I think outside of the box (and see that this box of mine is green with electric pink stripes 8D). I laugh louder than most. I dance in the hallways (even without music). And I like to wiggle my eyebrows in every expression I make. I’m just weird OuO. Howeverrr, I’m also not weird an individual too 8D (yes, it’s true).  I mean, I wear shirts and pants like you or anyone else! I fall in love, and feel sadness, and like chocolate just the same. I try to be smart, and become rich.

So what am I? An individual or an ordinary?

Oh! Speaking of being out-of-the-ordinary, I finally took pictures of my locker! Now, you can see it in all its awesomeness 8D. I’ve gotten like several comments for it. LOL it’s actually how I’ve made a few friends too XD. It’s filled with pictures of Hitman Reborn. Fans, or just anime-fans in general, always comment on it. I totally love how most anime fans in my school are so crazy and outgoing, and just love to talk about their love with other fans 8D. It’s fun! I feel so welcomed knowing that there’s other weirdoes like me ;w;.

*click to make image larger*

The red thing you see at the top of inside my locker is used as a shelf :D. It’s supposed to be one of those fold-out shelves that you put on the bottom of your locker. However, since I have a top locker, I have like a few extra inches at the top (it’s inclined slightly at the top instead of flat). I put the shelf on the hooks that’s for my jacket. Ahahaa, I put so much stuff on my shelf. LOL. I have a pencil case filled with stuff like a staples for my stapler, white out, sharpener, paper clips, and etc. I have an extra set of clothes, and emergency book (just in case I get bored out of my mind during my free periods), and my goggles for biology class.

That ugly, barf green thing you see in there is my book bag. However, I shove that in my locker in the morning, and put the stuff I need for the first half of the day into a much cuter, smaller bag 8D. That way, I don’t have this huge heavy thing on my back.

AND GUESS WHAT? MY BEAR STICKER GOT STOLEN TT______TT. I went to my locker one day, and ka blam, it was gone! My sticker of the girl is harder to get off though, so no one has touched it yet :’D.

a lil' inspiration

New C-Pop Obession

I'm like totally in love with C-pop right now.
LOL. I can't believe I haven't explored this stuff until now. I feel so late ;A;.
It's really awesome though. I don't know why, but Chinese people just have like really sexy voices .__. //totally unbiased answer btw.

Anywayss, here's some of the people that I like so far :'D

Top Combine

LOL. I found them like awhile ago. I really like their music, but never really got very into them. To be honest, I've only ever listened to this song of theirs (and maybe like one or two others).. but I really like this one XD. I like how they mention their name, Top Combine, in some/most? of their vides. It's funny :>

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVQ0K566cxg <- the only dance I can actually do! xD

Fahrenheit

Ah hahahaa, I like this song the most from them. XDD. Their other stuff is pretty good too, I guess :3 andd, I've watched the drama Ikemen Desu. It has like two of the guys from this band in it. LOL It was the first drama that I actually officially finished (I've started so many dramas, but haven't finished them yet).

So those two were my first C-pop songs ;w;

BUUUT, the band I like the most a the moment would be Hit-5 ♥♥♥. Ohmigosh, they're so cute and like awesome TTwTT.

Hit-5

^This is the first song I heard by them. I totally found them by chance. randomly clicked a video (because I thought the beginning picture was kinda cute XD). I think I totally found my new love ♥ ;w;. (besides Kat-Tun of course x3).

G.E.M.

I'm also into G.E.M. I don't listen to female foreign singers very often (reasons are too long to explain xD), so she's pretty good to have caught my interest =w=b. She's super pretty too ;w; makes me totally jelly.

Exo-M

LOL... they're like half Chinese or something like that, so I guess this counts XDDD. I don't knoww. but I'm really loving Chinese singers right now. ahahaa xD. They're really good thoughh. Meh friend, B-queer showed it to me. And all the members are so incredibly cute >w< !!


Ah harr, but I haven't really researched into any of these people yet T^T. I totally should. and soon. LOL. I'm such a late bloomer. getting into music wayy after everyone else did xD. but I guess I'm different like that, so ha :P

High School Isn't What I Expected

After a month or so of high school, I've realized it's not as hard as people make it out to be... nor is it as fun ;____;.

I mean, in movies and people I've talked to, they're always complaining about the amount of work and tests and all that shit. It's honestly not that bad (and this is coming from a kid who goes to Bronx Science xP). There are a lot of tests (especially if you got that evil teacher), but it's to be expected. If you just sit your ass down, pay attention in class, and study for at least ten minutes the night before, you'll be fine (if you wanna do great, study for twenty-five minutes xD).

I must confirm that high school isn't as fun as rumored to be. I thought it was going to be crazy, wild, fun, drama-all-day, insane! It's not though. You go to the same classes, see the same teachers, and shove crap in the same locker every single day. It's too repetitive ! I hate it. No fun at all. Nothing interesting. The thing that might ever present a tiny possibility of excitement in my day is if I find a penny on the floor. High school is that boring.

People say you make your life time friends there. ... Well, I don't know how the fawk anyone does that because you get a whole new set of people in each class!! Like excuse me? How is someone supposed to create such a major friendship if you only see them like a few minutes each day??

So high school life isn't really what I had expected it to be (except, I do hear about the crazy, wild high school parties... which I'm not allowed to go to anyways xP).


I must admit, I do have fun though (just not exciting, I-could-die-happy fun xP).
My biology class is filled with Black Butler (anime, in general) fans!! >w<. We just like to sit and talk about Black Butler (ex. how cool Sebastian is, how hot Grell can be, and spoilers for the newborn fan xD) while we wait for second period to start (I have first period free three days a week). There's this one girll who I totally love though!! I'll call her Sabby~. She is HILARIOUS. Omigosh, she is the closest thing to home. Home as in my middle school friends. She's absolutely crazy, totally understands my kind of weird jokes, andd laughs/talks just as loud as I do XDD. However, she's still no replacement for my other friends ;___; I do miss them

...so I'ma just go on describing a few more friends since I've already started xD.

I have this friend named Turtle. He looks more like a lemur if you ask me (with qualities of a turtle), but no one agrees. Everyone is dead set on him being a 100% turtle xD. He's a junior, but I love how he doesn't treat me like a total newby-freshman. very nice ^^. LOL. I remember seeing him on the subway (because we both take the 4 train), and I thought he was kinda nice looking. The next day I ended up crossing paths with him (aka, meeting him xD). This kind of thing always happens to me somehow. LOL. //lucky ducky :P
I met Turtle because a friend of a friend introduced me to him. I like the friend of my friend though. She has the same name as Luka-chan. haha. She looks nothing like Luka-chan though. So I'ma call her The Keeper. That's her name because she has like a name for everyone, mostly animals, which makes me think of a zoo keeper. However, she doesn't have only animals, so I took out "zoo" and kept keeper. It ended up as a really cool nickname xD. Anyways, I'm The Keeper's teddy bear... according to her. And Tony (my summer school friend who coincidentally goes to Rin-chan's church) is her shrimp. I feel that's mean because it's like making fun of his short-ness ;__;. I like how The Keeper is also a junior, but she still treats me like an equal instead of a freshie.
I know this other junior, who I'll call Pritt. She treats me like a freshie. She even calls me her "lil' freshie". It makes me feel so outcast-ed T^T. LOL but the way she says it is so cute, so I don't really care xDD. She's super nice. I love how even though I'm a freshman, she's proud to be my friend ;w;. Pritt is always like "This is MY friend, and you're a lucky ducky to be meeting her!" whenever she introduces me to all her friends. I love how she's incredibly happy whenever she sees me too. Makes me feel special. LOL.
(btw, go visit her dA: http://kyo-kyo123.deviantart.com/ . she's like a totally awesome Hetalia fan!!).
...as you can see, I know a lot of juniors .____. (I know like a few more. 5 more? plus, a few seniors. but sophs don't like talking to me or something because idk any ;A;)


Oooh, and there's a person who I should totally dedicate an entire post about, but for now it'll just be a paragraph. I'm going to call her B-queer. She and I have the complete opposite personality, but we get along extremely well. We have the same sense of humor, and we're always laughing up the streets like crazy. We're the kind of friends who can finish each other's sentences and think the same things at the same time. It's a totally crazy that I'm friends with her. We both get upset at each other quite often, and curse one another's ears out, but somehow everything works by the end of the day. LOL. I hang out with her ALL the time. so much so, that I'm starting to talk like her XD. hahaa, I really do love her though. she's like ah-maze-zingg~~!


........... Anyways, those are like my only friends xD. Sabby, B-Queer, The Keeper, Pritt... and possibly Turtle xD. idk. LOL. plus, like two others (who I'll name and talk about later xD).


Also, I go to B-queer's locker with her every morning before school, in the afternoon, and after school (because that's just how our sched works xP. is done in reverse too). And there's this boy who owns the locker next to her. He always resets his locker combo thing to zero. I have no idea why, and I find it amusing that he has such a odd habit. And I must say, I'm a really mean person, so I always change the number to 25. LOL I'm probably a jerk for doing something like that, but I feel like defying this habit of his. I call him Mr. Zero. hahaa xDD. Funny part is, B-queer has the same habit too. I would also mess with her, but she'll kill me... so I dont mess with her ;A;.

By the wayy, even though I'm still just a "feshie", my locker is BOSS. hahaa, most freshmans carry shitload of stuff around the school because they aren't used to using a locker. I mean, I still have a huge camel hump on my back, but not during the school day. I shove like my entire book bag in the locker. I take out what I need, put it into a much more appealing smaller bag, and carry my binder in my hands. LOL. so I look cool B).

I like how my locker is turning out though. I put in a shelf. Yesh! A shelf!! It's a red shelf C: and I fit like a book, extra set of clothes, and my goggles on it (totally helps save space for my camel hump of a bag xD). I put my totoro pouch in there (for meh extra girly stuff). Totoro is so cute though ;w;. There's a mirror. And, I found this cute little pin in the hallway (finder's keepers xP) that said "Robots Save the World". So I took neon pink duct tape, and pasted it on. LOL.

...locker doesn't sound boss when I describe it... b-but it is. I swear.. ;A;  I'll take pics of it one day. xD.


Anyways, this post is like getting uberly long. I must stop talking before I go on a rampage of more useless stuff of my high school life xDD. (and believe me, there is still TONS of stuff to rant about. I have just barely scratched the surface). LOL. so until next time~!! ;D

ask me questions. It'll help inspire me to write more things xD.
like this post was inspired when Luka-chan wrote a comment on my last post asking about my high school friends :3 (so thank Luka-chan. I wouldn't have blogged today if it weren't for her XD).


Coming Up Next Time.....

• You'll hear about the clubs I'm taking. The clubs I'm not taking.
• Complaints of how Asian my school is, and my crave for more variety.
• The current news of meh love life (btw, pinmi is of no more).
• Possibly about my teachers
  (my writing seminar one is kind of cute :P)
• My new doodle character
• -hopefully- pictures of my locker
• more of the weird people I have to deal with everyday xD. (i'ma get a para or so from B-queer. be excited. LOL).

^mind you, I'm not going to talk about all of them at once. maybe one or two. comment below if you really want to hear about one over the other.

Subway Experience

THE SUBWAY IS DANGEROUS O^O.

I have to ride three different subway trains twice a day every weekday for a total of two to three hours. A lot can happen in those times. a lot of scary things T^T.

The other day, I almost got mugged! Omigosh, it was so scary if I think back about it, but somehow I wasn't frightened at all. I usually put my book bag on the floor since it's heavy, but I have it in between my feet and watch my surroundings carefully. As I was looking around the bus, there was this guy who didn't really look too suspicious. He was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black hat. You know, the kind of hat that robbers usually wear. ....>___> okay, so maybe he should have looked suspicious to me, but he didn't. LOL XD. I mean, some people don't usually dress up to match their intentions when those intentions are to rob someone ^ ^;; you'd have to be a complete idiot to do so. Anyways, it wasn't his get-up that made me notice him. I only payed attention to this guy because he kept looking at me. I was just like "WUT? ಠ__ಠ" He really failed terribly for me to notice him so easily. At first, I thought it was just him like being a pervert or something; checking me out. However, as I observed more carefully (and discreetly of course), he was looking at my bag. The guy kept looking up at me, and then down at my bag, and then back at me again. My bag is one of those Swiss Army bags, but I don't really look like someone who's rich or anything. I look like the kind of kid who doesn't have more than ten bucks on her, and it's true xD. I moved myself at an angle, so if he were to try to grab it and run, it'll be difficult for him. I saw him look upset when I did that. Inside, I felt a little proud because I thought I made him give up. He started checking out for other people's things. As the subway was about to reach its next stop, I saw him start to get up, and stand next to me. There was NO reason for him to be standing next to me when the door was on the other side. I then reached down to grab the bag with my hand, and gave him the "touch me, and I'll rip your guts out" kind of glare o^o. Then as the subway door opened, he looked down at my bag and totally contemplated his options. He had that thinking face on. He looked stupid .___. like srsly. I swear I saw him attempt to reach down, but at the last minute, thought against it and ran out the door before it closed.

Then once he left, I immediately told my friend about it. LOL. It was like an entire silent battle between me and this idiot mugger. I tried to emit a "i can kick your ass" kind of aura. He was trying to act out a "i'm totally innocent" face. But I didn't fall for it! My friend on the other hand, didn't notice what was going on the entire time. She was totally in her own world. LOL. xD. At the end though, she saw him try to reach for my bag like I mentioned earlier. She said she was going to punch him if he tried anything. I felt so loved TTwTT.

It's totally incredible that I survived my first almost-mugged situation //feels proud :'D.

On the subway there's a ton of perverts too. especially old man perverts. On the first day of school, one winked at me @^@;;. Then today there was like three others who just kept staring. I feel so creep-ed out. It's just not fun to know that there's pervs on the same train ￣^￣. 

Oh, but the subway isn't all bad. It's really fun to make fun of all the weird people on the train. And trust me, there's a lot of weirdos. For instance, today, I saw this guy who had like three chins. However, it's not the gross amount of chins he had that was amusing. It was the fact that he had a beard on his double chin, and not his real chin. XD. like wtfuu**? If you're going to shave, might as well shave all of it. lolool. people are strange o-o;;.

My Vacation~!

I went on vacation that seemed really short... and yet, really long at the same time.
To be honest, I'm too lazy to really post all about it in detail... because well, a lot happened xD.
However, what I am going to do is show you some of the pictures from my vacation and then explain a little bit through them :D.

In short, I went to six flags a whole crap load of times. My dad won a whole lot of those carnival toys! I can hardly walk on the floor with all these giant toys on the ground xP.
I don't have any pictures from six flags though ^ ^;; sorry.

Afterwards, I went to Washington D.C. and I must say, I loved it ;w;. I've always wanted to visit D.C. when I was kid. //patrism xD.
During our time in D.C., it must be said now that there was a LOT of walking. All the tourist sightes are clumped together. However, they're still quite the distance apart from each other.

This is The Treasury Department. It was one of the first sites we saw while trying to walk to the Washington Monument (which was very far from where we parked ;A;). It's a very important building... or so I assume since it wouldn't let anybody in :\ I liked the statue infront of it though ^^.

I also went to the WWII Memorial. (there's lots of memorials in D.C.

The part of D.C. I went to must be like big on recycling and keeping things clean because there were so many trash cans everywhere. It was crazy! I totally feel bad for the people who are in charge of maintaining the park. They must have so many garbage bags in stock!

 LOL.... this is just a picture of me messing with the Washington Monument... xDD;;. I was at the Lincoln Memorial when I took this. You can see that long stretch of water infront of it (which I do not know the name of... ^^;). I got this from a lady who was standing next by. It was funny because after she kept shouting to her boyfriend "Take a picture of my hand!" several times (quite loudly), everyone decided it was also a good idea. Thereafter, copying her idea xD. /

 Okay, so most people might want to see the White House, or maybe the national Christmas tree (LOL which I thought was completely hilarious! XD Leave it up to the Americans to have a "national" tree for Christmas). However, my family deeply desired to see the Lincoln Memorial! Everyone in my family was dying from walking from our parking space to the Washington Memorial (which wasn't that far, but my family is a bunch of weaklings. I was perfectly fine xP). Despite such "exhaustion", they strived on to keep walking. Why? LOL. because the Lincoln Memorial has appeared in only a ton of movies! XD. //movie fan. Of course, respect for Lincoln himself was implaced into our want to see his statue... :>

My family didn't really get to see the White House. They were all too tired to walk there. Bunch of lazy bums. hmph =3=. LOL. We got to see the back of the White House though... which is better than nothing, I suppose xD.

Visiting D.C. was quite fun! We got to see the Smithsonian too! Or at least part of it. The Smithsonian was too big to see all in one day (we only spent one day in total in D.C. btw). We saw the part with prehistoric animals in it (We got to see Manny, Sid, and Diego! :'D //shot).
Being in Maryland in general was quite amazing all in itself! Maryland is so green and pretty !! Tons and tons of trees! Quite beautiful :')
...the only weird part about Maryland was that I must have passed by like three or more adult stores there >___>......
LOL. The catch phrases/sayings those kinds of stores put up are funny though xD. //can't remember any atm.

 I also went to Hershey's Chocolate World!! :D. I did Chocolate taste testing and actually made my own chocolate bar!! It was a lot of fun, but expensive .___. I also got this really nice Hershey's Sweater ^___^. However, to my family's disappointment, we found out there was a bigger better Hershey place right here in NY. //fail. LOL. Well at least we got to see the original place ;w;. I mean a whole town was built off of Hershey's Chocolate. (you should look up the history of it! It's quite interesting :'D).


I also visited my cousins in Pennsylvania! It was great to see them :'D. I also bought a lot of clothes there //happyyy~. lolool. I really did enjoy seeing them though ^^. My auntie (dad's sister) is an extermely weird person. Well...I mean, we are related xD. She's very blunt and stubborn with her opinions. I love seeing her have sibling arguments with my dad :>.
Oh! And I helped my cousin create her very own blog too!! :D I'm super excited that she started a blog too! You should go visit it by clicking this link
--> Collywobbles.