Arrrghh!

Why am I so lazy?! D:
I complain and complain about having to do work and how I just want to finish it. And yet, I sit at my computer doing random stuff that's not very productive ^ ^;;. I feel terrible.

Things to Do:
~Finish essay [it's about a cool person, so it should be interesting]
~Study math [gahh! it's so annoying to study D: ]
~Clean up [in desperate need of doing > <]
~Read required book (it's not even hard reading >.>]
~Sleep [I really want to do this one xD]
~Practice piano [TT^TT so hard]

and the list goes on...

Sigh~ I have so much to do and so little time. Gosh, I'm able to do the important stuff in like one day. But the only problem is that I can't motivate myself enough to actually do anything. Grr...>.> is it that I'm lazy or just a really bad procrastinator with a serious problem xD lol.

Birthdays

I haven't been to a birthday party in like forever. So when P. invited me to her birthday, I totally forgot to get her a gift. I was luckily reminded by one of my friends to get her one ^ ^;;. Imagine how embarrassing it is to show up without a gift? Well... I don't want to find out xD. Yesterday, I went shopping at the stores near by my house. I first went to this Korean shopping thing. They had some cute stuff, but it was mostly decorative silverware. I can't give silverware to my friend on her birthday. That'd be so lame :P. So I went to the store next door. I'd have to say it's the perfect gift store too. They have a bunch of cute figurines, little knick knacks, pretty tea sets, and many other things. I loved looking at all the little things there ♥w♥. Everything was so fragile there too that I was afraid that I'd brake something ^ ^;;. Good thing I didn't :D. I eventually ended up buying this cute little pink ceramic round box with pretty flowers on top :3. P. likes pink, so I thought it was a good choice, color wise. The coolest part was that the person actually gift wraps it for you! ^ ^ that's one less thing to worry about. The gift wrapping was so pretty too ^ ^! It was this white colored wrapping paper, with a flower pattern. And there was a pink ribbon tied up in the coolest way. It only cost me 10 bucks too. So I was very satisfied with my gift :3. I think I might get all my gifts there xD. I wonder if P. will like it though. I hope she does ^ ^;;. Wait! I forgot to get a birthday card OTL. Gosh..I really don't want to go out again >.>. It's a real pain in the butt to choose. ...Not because I'm lazy. It's because I'm not lazy. My dad always gets annoyed when we go card shopping because I always have to read all the cards, and find the perfect one. So it takes me quite awhile to buy a card. Sigh~ nobody ever bothers to read the cards anyways. Thus, all my work is wasted TT^TT. I think I'll just skip out on the card if that's the case.
^ ^ I can't wait until P.'s birthday comes though. I haven't seen her all summer! Which is terrible >3<, just terrible. So I miss that woman xD. When I see her though, she'll probably freak. She's been so hyped up about the happenings of K. and I. And I'll probably be tackled by her when she sees me xD.
Can't wait :)

Fixed?

Erm...okay, well if you've read my previous blog entry, then you would have known that K. confessed his feelings to me. However, I had to semi-reject because I'm not allowed to date. I did also confess my feelings as well, in the email though. And after I awaited his reply afterwards.
He sent his reply, saying that he was okay with not dating me, and that just being able to talk with me would be fine. Er...>.> but that left us at a really odd position, in my opinion. So after reading the contents of his email, I started thinking, "What now?" Like what does two people who like each other, but incapable of being with each other do?
Today, I asked K. what I was to him in order to confirm some things, and his answer to me was, "More then a friend." Now if you look at that positively, that's a big achievement, since I've been sorta obsessing over this guy for awhile now. But I don't know if it's enough for me ^ ^;;. I mean I was kind of hoping for more, but for someone who can't date, you can't ask for much. Beggars can't be choosers, I guess. Right now, we're just two people who like to talk with each other at the moment. I guess you could say I'm kind of happy about these events. I mean the guy I like actually likes me back. I'm able to have more fluent talk with him too. But I'm a little disappointed at the same time. It's like, is that all I get? After spending endless amount of efforts of getting to know him better. Plus, there's all that time I spent after school just to be with him. Sigh~ I thought this world was built on equal trade (xxxholic reference xD). I did that for myself, and I actually didn't expect anything in return. I'm just happy I got this far :). Truthfully, I have no idea what's going to happen between us in the future. >.> I hate it when I can't predict things (remember, I'm a woman who's very cautious and likes being able to accurately predict things). Sigh~ so I guess all I can do is cross my fingers and hope for the best.

I Can't Believe What Just Happened

I don't know if I just made the largest mistake of my life or the right one...

Earlier, I was chatting with K., and things were going really well (if you minus out the awkward nervousness I felt the entire time ^ ^;; when I'm talking with him, I always choke on my words.)

Well anyways..things got real awkward

and I think he actually confessed that he liked me.

But it was all too unreal for me to realize what was going on. I ended up saying stupid stuff, that probably hurt his feelings, and he left our chat.

A few minutes later, he sends me an email saying he would like to start over from the beginning.

...but I told him I couldn't just start over,

and I actually told him that I liked him as well.

except...I said nothing would happen between us romantically because I'm not allowed to date. :(

And in the email, I asked if we could just stay friends, but I don't think that's possible.

and ...I'm not sure if he'll ever be want to talk to me again.

He hasn't replied back yet (mostly because I just sent the email)

Our "love" story ended badly...

And...and...

TT^TT I'M SUCH AN IDIOT!!!

I NEVER THOUGHT THINGS WOULD TURN OUT THIS WAY!!! TT^TT

WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?!?!

I MESSED UP!!! TT~TT

I FEEL TERRIBLE!!!!! D':

>~< it seems almost impossible to fix things now.

and I wonder if he's reading this now ^ ^;;. He somehow found my blog, and started reading it >.> ... Which was a terrible turn of events >~<.

So back to what I said in the beginning. Do you think it was wrong and a big mistake to tell K. that I can't be more then friends with him, or do you think it was the right decision to not go behind my dad's back and start dating my crush?

My Top 10

Here is a list of the top ten hottest anime guys I've ever seen ♥////w////♥ ~
So prepare for an eyegasm and a major bloody nose ;D fufufufu~~

10. Zero Kiryu

9.  Lelcouh Lamperouge









8. Hei [darker than black]

7. Firo Prochainezo











6 1/2. Belphagor 











6. Hikaru Hitachiin

5. Hibari Kyoya

















4. Grimmjow Jeagerjaques











3. Kyouya Ootori 









2. Gokudera












1. Setsuna

(disclaimer) ps. None of these pictures belong to meh TT-TT unfortunately. I found them all on the internet somewhere~.

^/////^ ~

I'm so haaappy~ ♫   *sing-song tone*
Not exactly sure why though ^////^ I just am.
My mood has been quite excellent~ since this morning.
Has that ever happened to you? Like you just wake up one morning, and you just feel like today is going to be a great day? That happens to me somewhat often. I quite like the feeling. ^w^
Other then me being randomly happy (even though I know nothing exciting is going to happen today), I also feel totally and completely relaxed~ :D.
Ever since my summer vacation has begun, I've been studying non-stop. It's quite annoying D:
But I just took a practice test, and I got a pretty high score, so I'm allowed to take a break. I'm for once spending a weekend like it's a weekend xD.
Ha~ even though I complain about being so busy sometimes, I kind of like the feeling of being busy. It makes you feel like you have purpose. I mean, it's never boring xD. Wait, no that's not a good way to describe it either. Hm...I like the feeling of being busy because you're never faced with that moment of having nothing to do. It's a total drag when you have so much free time and nothing to do with it. Plus, having something as simple as free time seems so much more valuable if you don't have much of it ^ ^;;.
Hmmm... perhaps I'm happy today because I get this valuable free time(?). I've been reading manga all day today ^w^ . I haven't been able to do that in awhile. I forgot how much fun it was to read manga or watch anime. Lately, I've been quite addicted to the manga, Yankee-kun to Megane-chan (aka flunk punk rumble <--which is a weird name for it xD). Yankee-kun to Megane-chan  super funny. I love it! :D It's so cool, interesting, and hilarious. Yankee is like the Japanese word for delinquent I think. And megane means glasses, I believe. Um..I'm not good at describing things or summing up story plots, so I'm going to show you the wikipedia description of the story plot ^ ^;; .

Daichi Shinagawa was just a Yankee (Japanese term for delinquent) who wanted nothing to do with his high school life. Hana Adachi, the dedicated class representative, however would not allow it and constantly bothers him to be involved in school life. Shinagawa is first confused on why she keeps pestering him until he discovers her secret. While she may look like a typical class representative stereotype, Adachi is actually not very smart and lacks common sense, and Shinagawa eventually learns that Adachi is a former delinquent. Regretting being a yankee during her middle school years, Adachi decides to change her ways to achieve her dream of becoming the best class representative. She decides to help Shinagawa so he will not continue to make the same mistake that she did. Thus begins the adventures of these two unlikely friends and their classmates at Mon Shiro High School.

Yankee-kun to Megane-chan is a very great manga with an original story plot. ^ ^ I strongly urge you to read the manga. Here is a link for you ^ ^ : http://www.mangareader.net/874/yankee-kun-to-megane-chan.html

Anyways~ I've been on the computer all day, and I really fear for my eye sight. I predict it's going to get worse since I go on the computer a lot ^ ^;;. But I can't help it, my computer is my life~! xD
Oh well. I'll just eat a ton of carrots....even if they are icky >~<

Shopping at Disney

 Not too long ago, my family went to a shopping outlet. It was fun I guess, we didn't do much shopping in the stores. We were sort of just walking around. My dad was complaining about how I'm a girl and I don't like shopping. But what he doesn't know is that, I actually like shopping just as much as the next girl. It's just awkward shopping with him ^ ^;;. You know what I mean? I know he's my dad, and I should be perfectly fine shopping with him. But it's the very fact that he's my dad  that makes it awkward. I'm not one to worry about what other's think of me. However, when I'm shopping with my dad, I have to worry if he thinks this or that will be okay and/or appropriate. It's not that I like inappropriate clothing. I just don't know what my dad approves of or not ^ ^;;. I prefer shopping by myself, where no one can judge me xD. Ah ha but the funny part is that once we got to the Disney store in the shopping outlet, my whole family went a lil' crazy. There was some kind of stuff animal sale where you could get 2 for like $12 or something like that. So since I have three little siblings plus me, we each got to buy one stuff animal. xD I'm not a big stuff animal fan, but they were just so cuute~ ^w^. I also got myself some pajamas. Basically, for some reason, I'm able to say what I want in the Disney store, but not in a regular clothing store. ^ ^;; maybe it's because they're more of collectible items (?). I don't know. My dad was laughing about how all four of us were most excited in the Disney store xD. It is quite odd for someone of my sister and I's age. Lolz xD but it's not my fault. My brothers love re-watching movies over and over and over again; most of them being Disney movies. I practically memorized everything about all kinds of kid movies.  Toy Story 3 is one of the many movies I have seen about a 100 times xD. In my opinion, it was a pretty cute movie. I like Toy Story. ^ ^;; I can't believe I almost cried at the ending when everything got so sentimental. Sigh~ the power of kid movies xD. Anyways, you should have seen how amazed everyone in my family was when we found out that the Lotso stuff animal bear actually smelled like strawberries. xD We all couldn't stop sniffing it. It was just so cool. We're such weird people. My dad started cracking up at the accuracy of the stuff animal.
I was too lazy to take pictures of the stuff I got, so I just went to the Disney website and found pictures of them xD. ( http://www.disneystore.com/ )

Lotso

I think the Lotso in the movie looks a lot cuter...and more evil at the same time xD. The stuff animal version looks too...happy. This is the first time my family has ever bought the bad guy from a movie before. We usual don't like the bad guys and never buy them. But come on. Who can seriously not buy a strawberry smelling bear? xD The way Ga. says Lotso's name is so cuute~ too ^ ^. He can't pronounce the "s" sound in his name, so it sounds like he saying "Lot-toe". a lot of toe xD rofl. I love the way babies talk, but it's super hard to understand them ^ ^;;. Lotso belongs to Ga. btw.

Mr. Prickly-Pant

<--- this is Mr. Prickly-Pants ^ ^. I have no idea if that was his actual name in the movie or not. He wasn't a major character in the movie, so it's hard for me to remember. Za. first told me it was "Mr. Pippy-pants" and then he said it was "Mr. Prickly-Pants" and now he's saying it's "Mr. Porky-Pants" ^ ^;; so I have no clue what his name is. And porky-pants doesn't make any sense because he's not a pig xD. He's a porky pine. So I decided out of the three names "Mr. Prickly-Pants" is the cutest and makes the most sense. ^ ^ I love his "spikes/prickly needles" because it's actually very soft. I think he's so adorable :3 so I chose him as my choice of stuff animal.
Mr. Prickly-Pants is supposedly a theatrical loving porky pine. WAIT!! Hold on a sec. *looks up the real name of Mr. Prickly-Pants.* O.O He's not a porky pine. He's a hedgehog. What's a hedgehog anyways ^ ^;;? Wait, aren't they the same thing. *is super confused* Gah! Whatever xD. Anyways turns out his real name is Mr. Pricklepants. Hm...I think I'll stick to Mr. Prickly-pants though. It sounds cuter d(^ ^)b.

so true about meh ;D

The last picture is of the pajamas I got at the Disney store ^ ^. The whole reason why I bought pajamas from the Disney store was because my original pjs is just a large t-shirt and a pair of shorts xD. My dad says I need "real" pajamas. So we got some "real" pajamas at the Disney store ^ ^;;. I rather like these pajamas xD. It perfectly describes how I am when I wake up; sleepy and grumpy xD.


I rather like the Disney store ^ ^. It's a lot of fun. But I think an anime store would be much more fun :D . But sigh~ everything that's anime is super expensive. D':